Stress. It's the cause of so many things. It can be caused by so many things too. I'm not sure what to think about stress, just that it's there. It exists and I have to live and deal with it. I'd rather not think about it at times. But it's always there. There's nothing I can do about it. I can try breathing exercises and whatnot, but what do they really accomplish. Nothing. It feels like I have an angry chip on my shoulder. I really don't feel angry, but it feels like it's there. Like an actual something on my shoulder. I don't know what to do about it. Why must life be so difficult lately?
Depression has gotten the better of me over the past who knows how long. I don't enjoy being depressed. But it's what I am doing at the moment. So, I go along with whatever happens to me in my life. The screaming can stop anytime now. Constant telling myself that I'm no good. No one wants me around. Why do I even exist. Those thoughts and more fill my mind. I wish they didn't cloud my mind with pointless thoughts. I don't think I can tell you about all my voices and how they attack me and make me feel bad about myself. They're always around waiting to attack. They attack me at the moments when I'm low. Like today. They're constantly beating me up. There needs to be peace and calm in my life. I don't know how to get there.
I feel so lost. I'm a nobody. Who would care about me to begin with. Just toss me aside and get it over with. Allow me to be eaten by the wolves of this life. There's no point in surviving any longer. What's the use?
The voices tell me to cut myself. I do not comply. There's no reason to comply with that demand. They can go to hell.
I can feel myself slipping away into something. I'm not sure what that something is at this time. I'll have to see where that goes. If it goes anywhere of course. Life needs to feel better. It needs to get better somehow. All of this negativity in my life isn't good for me. I do not like it one bit. It needs to go away.
Comments
Post a Comment