DreamSense

If I had to choose what to do on a new year such as this, I think I would try and figure out the best possible outcome for a new me. Think about it for a moment. Life doesn’t have to be possible for everything to come together. I mean it helps? But what will this new year bring for us all? I have to simply wonder that. I don’t know myself, but I sure as hell hope it’s something wonderful and amazing!

What exactly matters in life these days? Are there things that actually make some kind of sense? I don’t know. I wouldn’t really know about any of that stuff. I mean come on now, think about it. If life had its way we would all be eaten up by sharks or worse. But it doesn’t have its way at all. Life has the ability to sink down further into the depths of the ocean then you will ever begin to believe. That’s what life will do to you. Sink you till the end.

I tend to find that life is meaningless at times. I don’t know what that is mind you, I just do. It’s not a good thought process to have at times. But I have it so it must be true inside my own brain somehow, right? Yeah…that’s what I was thinking. If life weren’t meaningless, would I even be interested in such a topic? I’m not sure. But there are many topics in life that make us wonder at times. Are we going down the right path, are we doing the right things in life. Are we going to make it through our next trial that comes along? Be it a trial of faith, intelligence, strength…whatever. Are we going to be strong enough to get through it? I often have these questions in my life and I don’t know how to get around them. I wish I knew how to overcome these thoughts, but they keep coming and I don’t have a way of making them stop. So I will have to figure them out as they come to me.

They say life has a way of messing with you. You don't always have the ability to understand what's going on in life. It will screw with you long before you are able to grasp what is going on. But that's supposed to be okay with it all. I don't know how it's meant to be okay, but that's what it is doing and we are but waiting for something to come along and everything else will become whatever it needs to become. So don't allow it to be what it wants to be, let it be what it doesn't want to be. Make it angry, make it upset, don't allow it to become more than important.

Nothing to think about, nothing to display. This day and every day goes away. The way of the dinosuars they don’t stick around. Everything and everyone ends up on the ground. It is but a moment in this life it would seem, no one wants to be in that gleam. So toss away your thoughts, your considerations at best, make life peaceful that is my only request.

I feel like a screw up. Is that good enough to say? I don’t know. Well it’s not good to say that at all I suppose. But life doesn’t feel like it used to. I don’t have a clue why that is. It just feels like blah. Can that be a good answer for everything? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Have you ever wanted to escape this world and simply die or get away from it? Yeah, that's how I feel at times. I don't know what to do about it. I need to see a therapist or something. I'm on medication, but that doesn't feel like it's doing enough for me. So I have to figure out...something to do about it all. I don't know though. It scares me. I'm more than scared, if I had the ability to understand what was going on in life, then I could do that. But I can't and that simply seems that life is going to blow up at me in any second now. I wish I could overcome these thoughts and simply make sense of it. Whatever happens, I need reality to be real. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it does. I doubt anything ever makes sense to me anymore. But that's okay. It'll be okay in the end, whenever that will be. If it's not the end, it's not okay yet now is it? No, I didn't think so.

Let’s think about this life for a moment shall we? The important things of life nothing too graphic, nothing too crazy. Just life in its infinite wisdom. Is that possible? I don’t know. How would I know if that were possible? I don’t have a clue about anything else, why would I have a clue about life? Yeah it’s kinda crazy don’t you think? I mean here we are trying to do our best only to find out that something most terrible is going to happen. I wish I could say exactly what the terrible thing is, but I can’t. I don’t know or have a clue. Personally I wish I didn’t know what was going to happen. Well wait, let me back up a second. I really don’t have a clue what’s going to happen. I just know what I think is going to happen. The reaction about it from my wife is just… I don’t know exactly what to think about the reaction from her. She’s been expecting it for a while now I guess. Feels like I’ve been taken out of the blue and things just don’t make sense at the moment. It would be nic...

Why must life be this way? I don’t understand it. If we lived in a utopia, things might be better; but I’m not sure about that. I wish there was some kind of something to overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I doubt I will ever fully figure it out. If I had the ability, I would do it in a second. But I don’t seem to have that ability at the moment. Maybe one day I will be able to figure it all out.

Oh life. What am I going to do with you today? I wish I could understand what’s going on. But I don’t believe in myself much anymore. It’s a crime or a shame or something. I don’t know which. If I did know I suppose I’d have an answer by now wouldn’t I? Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Talk about a rough patch to be going through. But what else am I supposed to do about it all? I haven’t a clue. If you could tell me how the future will unfold I suppose I’ll find a way to male it all coke to pass. Wow, talk about a stress exercise! Yeah something like that. But it isn’t about the thoughts that go inside my head, at least not for now. It’s the things I don’t think about most of the time. Now that becomes scary. I need to go to therapy but I am afraid of doing so. What if they laugh at me?

One would think this life would be easier than it currently is. I mean come on wouldn’t ou think that? Of course you would. So why can’t we each believe in it I for one would want to believe in it. It would give me something to do with my day at least. But well there’s something else on my mind. We have to be able to understand what it is exactly, if we don’t? Then that’s something quite different now isn’t it? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Today feels like a sleepy day, I don't know why that is. It just feels that way. I wish I could figure out why life happens the way it does. But I don't understand how anything goes about in this life. If I could understand one thought in life...I think I'd like it to be able to grasp why we are here on this Earth. Is it because the aliens want us to become something better than we are? I mean they're the ones in charge right? I think they are.

I’m trying here, is that all which matters in this life? Trying your best? I don’t know or have a clue as to how that works. It’s just a life that we have to be able to get through. I think that’s how it works, maybe possibly. I really do not have a clue. I wish I did have an idea of how life worked, maybe then I’d be able to figure out what to do about all of this other nonsense.

Sometimes you want a slug to make a filename. A slug is a group of words where the punctuation is removed and spaces are replaced with hyphens. Here is a simple way to implement this in Java. (It’s met my needs so far.) /** * Returns a phrase into a slug ie: This Is Good (this-is-good.md) * @param input The text to transform into a slug * @return The slug of the text passed in */ public static String toSlug(String input) { return input .toLowerCase() .replaceAll("[^a-z0-9\\s]", "") // remove punctuation .trim() .replaceAll("\\s+", "-") // spaces → hyphens + ".md"; } It can use some work. I have noticed if you have a hyphen in the word you pass in, it will put – which you might not want. So yeah some tweaks can be added to it for sure.

Today is not going well, My phone isn’t working. I hate it. I need to get a new phone, but we have no funds for a new phone. Who knows what’s going on anymore. I hate it. I wish there was something we could do about it, but there isn’t. I mean yeah I need to get a new phone. But the money thing is making it difficult. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make my old phone work fine and dandy again, but I doubt life works that way. No, I know life doesn’t work that way.

If I had the ability, I think I would do something about it. By it I mean life. I need to be able to figure things out in this life, I'm not sure what that means exactly, but if life had the ability to be understood, then I'm sure it would have to do with something that is extra special. Special enough to be there for everything else out there in the world. I just wish I could see how special it all is. But I can't. So I will try and attempt to figure out whatever happens. Or what has happened, perhaps what will happen? I'm not sure. It's life, and that's all I know about it. Talk about a wild ride though. We just never understand what's going on most of the time, and that's what's scary. But we have to keep moving forward.

Let’s discuss whatever needs to be talked about today. Shall we? yeah I think we need to or something. I don’t know, or have a clue. It would be nice if I could understand whatever there was to understand. But I don’t get it all, I hardly even recognize that something needs to be understood to begin with. It can be quite annoying if you ask me. But what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t have a clue.

I'm writing a book about Mental Health at the moment. About 19 hand written pages on 8 1/2" by 11" paper, it's one of those spiral notebooks, you know the kind you used in school? Yeah those. I thought about using a composition book, those are almost dead on accurate for page to page with the publishing company I go with. But eh, I can write long hand in a spiral notebook as it is. It works. So that's what I'm doing at the moment. I wonder if I'll ever finish it though. Or maybe I'll run out of ideas to write about? I fear that the most. But what can you do about it? I don't know. There doesn't appear to be much of anything to do when it comes down to it. But if there was, I would know how to do it right quick. Yeah, I know I might just be jumping the gun as far as this is concerned and worrying about nothing, but hey it's what I do best!

Ever wonder what gives about this life? Yeah I wonder that all the time. It becomes annoying at times if I'm being honest. But what are you going to do about it? I don't know. Life will continue on as it always does, and it won't give up until it's done with you. At least that's how I feel about the subject.

Updated the version number of commands. At this point I hope it works. It’s a simple diary/note taking application. There’s nothing really special about it really. Just something I came up with that would help my thought process. Whatever the case, it tends to help. For example this morning, I’m tried. I slept for most of the night. Got up at midnight for a little bit, but then went back to bed at one and slept until six a.m. So I should be wide awake at the moment, my brain needs to wake up. that’s all there is to it. But who knows, there’s just so much going on that I don’t have a clue what to believe or what to think at the moment. Is that a bad thing? I’m not sure. whatever the case, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m always just fine .

Dear Dad, Yeah it’s me again. I’m sure you’re getting tired of me talking to you like you’re in the same room as me, but I can’t get over the fact that you’re gone. Like gone gone. I miss you terribly. I don’t know what to do about it. I wish I could talk to you. Sometimes I do talk to you out loud or in my head sometimes. I hope you don’t mind, and I hope I’m not bothering you. I just need to talk to my dad! Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. I don’t know. Love, Kyle

Why does this life feel this way? There’s got to be some reasoning behind it. I wish I had a reason for any of it, most of it, whatever there is I’m supposed to think or do or say. One of those things needs to become aparent.

I dreamed about my dad again last night. He took me suit and car shopping said I needed them both. Haven’t a clue why he said I needed them, but I went along with it. It was nice to be spoiled. He left mid dream though, as I realized he was in fact dead. So there wasn’t much going on after that in the dream. I wish I could figure out what’s going on with those kinds of dreams. I guess it’s whatever , but I really want to know what that whatever is meant to be. Is it a warning? A sign? I don’t know. It’s something, that’s for sure. I hope it’s nothing bad, because I don’t think I could handle or deal with that right now. I don’t want to deal with such a thought process. That would suck, and I’m already thinking about it. GAH!

Life has to be something better than what we can see around us. It must be a kind of utopia that’s just beyond that hill, or just a little bit after the horizon. Whatever the case, it has to be there. I don’t see any other way on how this would work. I think it’s up to us to make life better than it is. Does that make sense? I sure hope it does to someone who’s reading this. If it does then I’ve done something right. If it doesn’t? Well that’s another story for another time.

If I had a way to figure out what this life means, I’m not sure I would be able to figure much out or understand it. That’s what this life feels like at times. I can’t make this up at all. I wish I could, but well it doesn’t happen that way. Just a life out in the middle of it all. That’s life in a nutshell, don’t you get it? I highly doubt it at all. So much doubt in this life to be covered by many things. Yeah, something like that. It’s a complicated mess at times I do believe. But what can we do about it? I don’t know.

Welp today was a miserable day altogether. I don’t know what to say about it, it was just one of the worst days I’ve had mentally. I have to stay strong for my wife. She’s going through some stuff right now and I can’t be having issues when she needs me to be strong for her. So I guess I’ll just bury it all until I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to say about it all. I feel all sorts of lost at the moment. So that’s what’s going on.

Something about today worries me. I don’t know what that is yet. I’m sure it’s nothing. Let’s chalk it up to nothing, yes that would be a good idea. Nothing sounds better than worrying about something right? Yeah that’s what I’m thinking it has to do with. Nothing at all. Something gives you the heebeegeebies. Is that even a full word? Or is that two seperate words? I don’t have a clue.

It would be helpful to be able to figure out what this life is about. I mean we know there’s a purpose to it all right? This existence can’t be all for nothing at least I don’t think it can be. There’s got to be something greater out there. I wish we had access to all that was out there. Everything that has a purpose must find a way to exist. Is that even possible? I’m not certain. Something has to give in order for anything in this life to make sense. I don’t see how any of this could ever make sense though. I mean here we are and we haven’t gone anywhere but the Moon and that has no intelligent life on it at all. What about other planets out there in the galaxy? The universe? There’s gotta be something more out there.

They say life can come at you fast. I don’t doubt it at in the least. It is what keeps this life interesting and unique. We have to keep life from becoming stale. There is no other choice but to try and make it all work out. So that’s how everything tends to work at times. Unfortunately I do not make the rules. I doubt anyone really makes the rules. Yeah, I don’t get it either. If the rules aren’t set in stone which can and will change at any given moment, how are we meant to trust anything ever again.

There needs to be more sleep hours in the day. I could have used a bit more sleep this morning let’s face it. But that’s not going to happen now. Oh great I have hiccups now. I don’t know where that came from. Let’s see if I can hold my breath. If that helps then the hiccups will be gone and everything will be fine and dandy. Nope that’s not happening either. Dang it. Maybe I’ll get there maybe.

Life isn’t what everyone says it’s like. I’d like to think it’s something unique, but well it’s not. It’s something that comes along to everyone. We don’t have a say in the matter. We live, we live and we die. There’s nothing much else to it. I mean, if there were? Wouldn’t you think we could explain why everything works the way it does? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. But we don’t get to have that choice in life. It’s a damning thing to make us worry over everything and nothing at all. But that’s life in a nutshell isn’t it? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

Sometimes you just have to see what’s out there and take a look around you. There could be people waiting for your help and you don’t even know it. When you feel a presence in your life to do something for someone else, take that and run with it. You never know who you’ll affect.

What on earth is going on here? I don’t have any idea of what to think or say. Life is getting in the way to be honest, but I wish it wasn’t. I wish it was being kinder to me. It needs to be kinder to me. Somehow I’m failing at life. I just don’t know what to do about any of it.

Had some nightmares last night, again. I don’t know what’s causing them…something for sure but I don’t enjoy or like them. They need to stop and I must find a way to make them stop. Last night it was something about a virus going around. It was spread by some kind of liquid compound. It was airborne and would also affect you on touch. Talk about a crazy dream right? To my knowledge there was no cure. At some point in the dream a cure did come along though? But people started messing with the pipes that caused the damn virus to come back. So we were all screwed.

Life wasn’t meant to be easy. [L]ife was simply meant to be. I don’t know exactly how this life was meant to be, but I do know life wasn’t meant to be crazy. What if life was meant to be something different? I mean here we are just waiting for something to come along right? What if it doesn’t come? What then?

Had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dad died al over again. In my dream he managed to survive the choking incident in 2024 on Christmas Eve. The doc wanted to run some pressure tests by putting him in a huge tub of water, he would be fully submerged and wearing a mask so he could breathe. Well apparently it didn’t go so well. I received word in the mail from my uncle sending his condolences. I was in shock. How could he die? Again? My mom was furious that the doc waited a week to perform some kind of surgery on him. As I was talking to my mom I was choked up, I could barely breathe or talk. She then said I had leukemia in my brain and in my…appendix[?] Can’t remember where. I just broke down crying. Woke up in a panic and was very happy to see all was right in the world, that it was just a dream. But still, man. Talk about a trip!

Let’s face it, life isn’t fair. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t suppose it’s meant to make any sense really. But who am I to say that? I’m a nobody. Sure it doesn’t feel like that at times, but trust me I’m a nobody. It would be nice not to feel like a failure. I don’t know how to feel that way though? I just feel that way and it’s all I’ve ever known. Talk about an anoying thought process…but it is what it is. Whatever would be nice doesn’t always make sense to me. It’s that strange of a thought. It would be nice to have self esteem, some self confidence even. But where am I going to find that? I don’t know. It’s just one of those things, I think. Doesn’t quite make sense when you’re not looking for an answer. Only when you’re constantly thinking about it are you under some kind of…trance. That’s the best way I can describe it. I don’t know how else to do that. It’s whatever. I don’t know what it is.

Why This Life? Kyle Eggleston Some wonder why this life. It’s a simple question without any kind of simple response. It would be nice to have an answer to it all. But we don’t. Not all answers come easily to us. There are some that avoid us at all costs. Life is one of those questions that seems to avoid people. Where are we going after we die and all of that. It would be nice to be able to figure it all out eventually. If that is at all possible.

Life Is Weird Kyle Eggleston Life is weird. I don’t know how else to explain it. Life is simply weird. To some people it seems normal to others it’s weird. I wish I could comprehend exactly what’s going on with life to make it not weird and everything else. But I can’t. So I will simply keep these thoughts to myself. Life is weird.

Sometimes we want to store the date/time as an integer. It makes sense sometimes. If you want to run updates on everything higher than a certain number, you can do it quite easily with an integer. If you want to run everything all over again, compare it to zero. All records will be processed again. Easy peasy. Here’s how one of my tables looks to achieve this integer method for a date/time: CREATE TABLE notes( id INTEGER primary key, title TEXT, note_txt TEXT, created_dt INTEGER not null default (strftime('%s', 'now', 'localtime')), exported_flag INTEGER not null default 0 ); See how that works? Yeah, it’s pretty neat if I do say so myself. Of course you have to convert it to make it human readable. To do that, I usually do something like this: SELECT id, title, note_txt, created_dt, strftime('%Y-%m-%d %H:%M', created_dt) as formatted_dt FROM notes ORDER BY id DESC LIMIT 1 But, I can see what you’re thinking. Why do it...

Son of a Bitch! Okay maybe not that bad. But still, I don’t feel good today. Maybe that was an attention grabber. Did it grab your attention? Well did it? It’s not like I screamed out MotherFucker! Not that would be a dang attention grabber. But I digress. What’s the point of it anyway? Yep, that’s what I was thinking. Life is good at the moment. I have a loving wife who I love and adore. It’s a good life to be sure. Sleep would also be good, but when you don’t sleep…what can you do about it? Not much I’m afraid.

Ever think that this life will never improve? Ever wonder if this life will become something more than it currently is? Yeah I tend to wonder that at times. I feel like the end is always just around the corner. There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with that thought, but it makes me shiver at the prospect that life will never be the same. I wish I could make sense of that, but I’m not sure I can. Life will always be there tormenting us to the brink of death, and then we will “get better” as it were, only to go through it all over again. Yes, I know that doesn’t make sense. But when did anything make sense in this life? I don’t know. That’s life for you in a nutshell though. It will always find a way to destroy us no matter what the cost. If I could figure out how to stop that from happening? I would. But unfortunately I do not have a way of doing that. So I must continue on my path to self destruction. However that may turn about, I will have to accept it and forget about it. It w...

Life feels so hard at times. I don’t even know where to begin most days. I do know life won’t always be this difficult. I mean it has to be something, doesn’t it? Life can’t be like this forever, at least I don’t think it can be. Life can be a mystery at times, that’s for sure. So we live and continue living until the day comes where we can’t anymore. Talk about a nightmare from Hell. But that is life.