What To Write

 Ever have a moment where you don't know what to write? Yeah, I'm having such a moment. This post might just be absolute nonsense. We shall see though won't we. I'd like to think I have something of substance to contribute to the community. But if I don't? I don't. That's just how it is I suppose. I can't believe how late it is already on a Saturday. I must have slept in longer than I anticipated. Oh well, the sleep was needed and if I need sleep then I need sleep.

I wonder what today will bring for me. I honestly don't know or have a clue. Maybe that's a good thing, It could definitely be considered a good thing. I don't want to be an outcast, I feel like I'm an outcast. It would be nice to be able to figure out whatever there is to figure out. I don't think I worded that correctly, but I hope you get my meaning.

Life can be downright difficult at times. This is one of those times. I don't know where I'm headed. I don't know where I'm going at all. I'm trying to save money to get a place, but where that will be? I haven't a clue. There has to be some kind of silver lining to all of this. I just haven't been able to see it yet. That scares me.

To put it simply I've lost. I've lost the love of my life. She was my everything. But we just couldn't be together anymore. It hurts. I don't think I've fully felt the full emotional effect this has put on me yet. When it does, I don't know how it will feel. I'm scared for that. I'm sure that day is coming, I just don't know when it will arrive. Not yet at least.

Emotions are a hard nut to crack. They come in a variety of flavors and there's no way to tell when or how they will manifest themselves. I wish there was a guidebook on them, but there isn't. We just have to deal with them as they come along and hope and wish for the best. I think that's the worst part of it all. Hoping for something to make sense isn't easy for fun.

This life is just a mess right now. I don't know how else to describe it. I wish I knew what to think about things. I'm grateful to have a friend who would take me in. I'd be lost without them. Hell, I am lost even though I have them. I wish I could just figure out what it is I want to do about everything. Finding a place is number one on my list. That's going to take some time, I'm sure. The problem is I want to figure it all out now now now. But I can't. Money takes time to accumulate.

Oh life, why do you do this to me? I don't understand it. I don't get it. I want you to just be kind to me. Is that too much to ask for? Is that too much to hope for? I just don't get it.