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Showing posts with the label journal

Today Is A Day

Thu Jun 11 11:18:25 AM MDT 2026 Let’s talk about what today is. Today is a rather ungrateful day. It’s a Thursday, so that’s got to mean something. Of course I thought yesterday was Thursday. Such a bummer. I’m freezing today. I don’t know how hot it’s supposed to get outside? But I feel cold. I don’t usually feel cold in the summertime. I hope I’m not getting sick or coming down with something. I’m sitting in my office and I have my minky on my lap because I’m freezing! Sami’s friend dropped off some chairs so we have a place to sit now. They’re nice oversized comfy chairs too! Only cost her eight dollars, so that’s what we paid for them. It feels good to have a place to sit in while writing or watching TV again. Talk about a good thing to have around. Last night, I had some crazy thoughts. Typical “life is a simulation” thought process. I don’t know why I am having these thoughts. They seem to come out of nowhere. It just happens to be that way though. I’m not crazy, sure I’ve be...
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We Must Try

Wed May 6 10:35:51 PM MDT 2026 Oh another day has come and gone, and who are we to thank for this good fortune? That’s right. Ourselves. For we are the ones who are able to put the past behind us. We are able to understand and grasp whatever there is to grab hold of. But we must hold on tight. For there will never be another time where we are able to understand fully what is going on in our lifves. I wish I had an understanding of how the world works. How history is made. How things get invented, but I don’t have that luxury. There are times in life where we simply don’t understand anything there is to understand. We must have the ability to grab hold of some kind of meaning. Anything to make us better than who we currently are. I wish I understood what all of that meant, but I don’t. I think if I had the ability, I would find a way to overcome whatever problems I have and seek out the best way of getting there. I’m not sure that’s possible. But I sure as hell would like to try! May...
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Blast From The Past: July 13, 2021 - Life

Life Kyle Eggleston Such an odd thing this life. No one really knows or understands it best. But you have to grasp something in order to preserve it. So you grab onto some kind of meaning for life. You take that in and you culture it until you are able to present it as your own creation because you’ve created something based on your thoughts and feelings; so it is yours.
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Blast From The Past: July 7, 2021 - Life Is Weird

Life Is Weird Kyle Eggleston Life is just kind of weird. Let’s face it. If we didn’t know or understand ourselves, we would find that we weren’t all that weird just life is the weird part. However if life wasn’t weird it wouldn’t be that kind of life now would it? No, I didn’t think so. But that’s life for you. You never know where it will take you. It might take you left, it could take you right. You just never know where you’ll go.
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Blast From The Past: June 26, 2021 - Life Isn't Fair

Life Isn’t Fair Kyle Eggleston This life doesn’t always seem fair or feel fair. Life in general can be annoying at best. But what do you expect when that happens? I’ve been feeling sleepy as of late, I don’t know why that is. It just happens. I wish I didn’t feel so sleepy but I do and I must accept that. But back to life. Why does this life feel so difficult at times? I don’t understand why it does. There are so many thoughts and ideas out there that could be explained to us all, but they aren’t. That’s what bothers me most about this life. Being able to understand or comprehend everything that’s going on...you have to figure it all out on your own.
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Blast From The Past: June 25, 2021

Nothing Makes Sense Kyle Eggleston Nothing makes sense in a world of things that really should make sense. Yet we live in such a world where we don’t have a full understanding of everything around us. Conspiracies raise up left and right long before we understand anything about them.
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Blast From The Past: June 21, 2021 - Why This LIfe?

Why This Life? Kyle Eggleston Life comes at us without any kind of warning. We don’t know what’s going to happen most of the time. Yet here we are waiting for something good to come about. Something, anything, life has to allow it to become individualized somehow. But we don’t know exactly how any of that works. Does it have to work exactly? I don’t know.
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Blast From The Past: March 8, 2020 - What Happened?

What Happened Kyle Eggleston Doesn’t make sense most days. What exactly happened? I don’t get it. I don’t understand any of it. Am I supposed to understand all of it? A piece of it? Portions? I’m feeling emotions and I don’t understand why I’m feeling these different emotions. I’d rather not speculate at all, but well what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t get it. I wish I understood everything that was happening lately. I don’t.
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Life Is A Journey

Life wasn’t meant to be this way. We wake up every morning and try to get through it just to go to bed and wake up again the next day. Is that what we’re thinking? Is that what we want? I’m not sure, actually I’m sure it’s not what we want at all. Yet it’s what we do. We are here to figure things out and try to attempt new things meeting new people. That’s what life is about I think? I guess? Either way, here we are. Now, if we wanted to do something a little different, we could. Life could be much different than it currently is. But, we have to accept that it could be different. Either way? It won’t be useful to any of us until we decide that is what we want. But what do we want for real now? I mean, we could guess all day long what we want, but we cannot fully express ourselves for some reason. Does it matter? I’m not sure. I’d rather not think about everything which could go wrong with this plan, but well you have to take into account all the different angles, don’t you? Some woul...
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Blast From The Past: March 6, 2020 - No Reason

No Reason Kyle Eggleston I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no reason to be alive. There’s no actual purpose to it. Why should there be a purpose to all this suffering and death. It doesn’t make any sense. There’s no reason for it at all. Step out of the box once in a while and see for yourself there’s nothing to be seen. If there’s nothing to be seen, then there’s nothing to be understood and we are good.
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Oh Life, You SIlly Bugger

Keep it to yourself, that’s what matters at times. Sometimes we can’t allow that which is troubling us out into the open. So, what are you supposed to do about it all? So many things happen in this life, but what of those tings that don’t happen? Allow it to form in your mind. Let it flow through you. Whatever happens, simply let it happen. The thoughts can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. How about that! Life just happens to be that way at times. However this life is meant to be, it doesn’t have to go according to your wants or desires. It’s quite simple in fact. Life will be whatever it wants to be. End of story. But that’s not really the end now is it? I didn’t think so. Life comes with certain challenges. It is through those challenges that we become who we are meant to be. No lie, no bullshit. That’s a simple fact. This life will always be a burden of some kind or another. There is no escape from any of it. Everything at some point catches up with you. It’s that simple. I’m ...
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Blast From The Past: March 5, 2020 - What Is That Noise?

What Is That Noise? Kyle Eggleston There’s a strange noise coming from outside my house. I dare say it’s the city working on something. It’s annoying. That’s what it is. Don’t even start to discuss why it’s annoying. Just a random noise, someone digging a hole or something. Fixing a pipe or something. It’s always “or something” isn’t it. Let’s not think about all the times “or something” came to mind. It happens to get lost in the shuffle and destroyed within ones mind. Someone will come along and fix it all you think. Well that someone never comes along and you just don’t quite know or understand what’s going on with any of it. So we sit here and we think about what’s going on. We want to understand and grasp everything, but we simply don’t know or have a clue of what to do about any of it. So we wait. What is it we wait for? Clarification of some kind. We hope and want to have an understanding of whatever that thing was. The noise that enters our mind keeps coming. We keep waitin...
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Blast From The Past: March 5, 2020

Helplessness Kyle Eggleston Not everything in life makes sense. Somedays we are here waiting for life to come along and kick us in the rear. Other days we are waiting for something to happen. That something rarely ever happens though. We are caught in a landslide of whatever there is to be caught in and we don’t have any idea how to go about getting around it. If that makes sense. After everything is said and done, we are left with the ability to recover. Legs decide to stop working, arms don’t want to function either. Our brain decides to stop thinking. We’re left with the most basic abilities around and we cannot grasp why that is. Almost like we are stuck in a never ending cycle of helplessness. It would be nice to be able to grasp hold of whatever is controlling us and shake it loose. That doesn’t always happen though. Most of the time we are stuck and simply don’t have the ability to get loose at all. So, why does that happen to us? Why do we feel like we can’t go on? Does it ...
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Blast From The Past: March 3, 2020

Death Please? Kyle Eggleston Death. It’s an interesting word. It’s an interesting goal. I mean no one gets out of this life alive. So the endgame goal of this life is to die. Right? Some want it sooner than later, some want it right now. Or yesterday. Either way, they wish to die. There’s nothing wrong with wishing to die just as long as you don’t act on it...or so I’m told. I don’t know. Death would be nice right now. It would be a welcomed relief to this life, this agony and pain I feel at times. It just would be nice to be done with it all. Instead, here I sit writing this. I don’t get to die. I don’t get to just leave this earth and see what else is out there. I have to suffer with this pain in my legs and hope for one day that the pain will be gone and I will be able to live as a spirit or something and not feel a thing. Yes, that would be nice. That’s the endgame goal I seek. Let it come.
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Blast From The Past: March 2, 2020

What The Fuck Life Kyle Eggleston Okay so the title isn’t very nice, it’s crude actually. I don’t know how best to express myself at the moment. Here we are. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of escape. Everything simply passes into the abyss and we are here hoping for something good to come out of it. I mean, is there anything good that can come out of it? I don’t know. There’s so much in life that we cannot even find the beginning of the good that might come around from it. What’s good in life? Can you give me one good thing that I can be thankful for in this life? I would love to hear it. I cannot think of something good. I can sit here yeah, but that doesn’t mean something good will actually come from any of it. It would be nice to simply breathe and be calm for a moment. I don’t know how any of this will play out. I don’t know how any of it will end, I’m simply at a loss and I cannot understand how anything will happen. It would be nice to be able to smile and allow everything ...
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Blast From The Past: March 1, 2020

Will It Ever End? by Kyle Eggleston The question stands as it was initially presented. Will it ever end? That is, will the war that goes on in my mind ever cease to exist? One would hope it would. One would imagine it would go away eventually. But we cannot always decide what will happen in this life. We cannot determine if something will go our way or if it will not. We simply cannot hope and wish for something to happen hoping it will go away. The war I speak of is a constant battle in my head. I deal with it everyday. There doesn’t appear to be an end in sight. It tells me to do bad things to myself, I have to stand firm and strong ignoring it all the time. It’s not always easy, but I keep at it and I try to defend myself at all times. So far so good, we’ll see how long it will last.
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Blast From The Past: March 1, 2020

Life? Kyle Eggleston What is the purpose of life? I’m really getting stumped at this level of thought. I mean I know what we’re supposed to believe is the purpose of life, to do all we can become to live with God again, have multiple wives, create our own planets and have lots of spirit babies so they can do exactly what we went through while we were here on earth. However, that really doesn’t answer the question. If that’s all we’re here to do...I mean doesn’t that seem kind of redundant and boring to you? It does to me. I’d rather think we’d live with God instead of going off on our own. Wouldn’t you want to be with that being who gave you life forever? Instead of going off being your own god and creating whatever you wanted etc? I don’t know...there has to be something more to it than that. Maybe I’m just not thinking about it all clearly, and I don’t know what’s going on at all. Perhaps that’s just how this life is meant to be played out? Who’s to know exactly how this life wor...
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Blast From The Past: February 19, 2020

Life by Kyle Eggleston You’d think we would be able to solve everything in this life without problems. All of these humans could learn to work together and solve every issue that came up. Right? But instead we have people going to war with each other and life just doesn’t get a win, ever. How many scientists are out there? How many have one piece to the puzzle and others have another piece to the puzzle? What if they all just worked together and added those pieces together instead of working alone. What would happen? Ever think and wonder about that? Most people don’t, well I’m assuming most people don’t.
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We Don't Have A Clue

We Don’t Have A Clue by Kyle Eggleston Today is but a day. I do not know how else to explain it, or how to describe any of it. We live in a world where nothing really happens, except for what we allow to happen. Does that make any sense? I doubt it would. We simply live in a world...we wish for that world to be something unique. Something we are able to grasp and understand. We hardly grasp or understand half of the things that go on in this world. I mean, if we really understood it all wouldn’t we have a better grasp of how things work? Yeah that’s what I thought. But we don’t. We don’t have any clue how this world is meant to exist, or how it is meant to survive. How are we to survive on a world like this? There are so many different options out there, we don’t have a clue. We need to get a clue.
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Never Go Back

Never Go Back by Kyle Eggleston Sometimes, you gotta accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be. That’s an interesting thought. You can never go back in time to fix or change anything. It’s just not possible. We might want to go back in time and change anything, everything, but we can’t. Simple? Well not simple to hear, but very easy to say. So what do we do about all of this? Nothing. We do nothing. We can do nothing. You’d like to do something, but no that’s really not going to do any good in this life. So we wait. We wait for something to come along and hopefully we are able to anticipate the future. The future is all we can hope for.
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