DreamSense

Frank Looking around, I don’t recognize where I am. The last thing I remember is going to bed in my home. Now I’m laying in an open field in my pjs. Sitting up, I see the field is filled with snow. It is indeed cold out and I’m freezing. I stand up and look to the sky. “Why won’t you leave me alone?!” I shout to the sky. I’m mad at whoever is doing this to me. Be it God or one of his angels, I do not know. There has to be a reason for it all. I don’t know what that reason is. What I do know is I’m cold and wet from the snow, best find someplace to dry off. I pick a direction and walk for a while. Eventually I come across a cabin. It’s a standard log cabin with four sides and a roof. Nothing out of the ordinary. I rap on the door with my fist. There’s no answer. Trying the doorknob I find it unlocked, so I enter. There’s a fireplace and a small bed in the corner. I start a fire. It heats the place quite nicely. Taking off my socks, I let them dry out next to the fire. Grabbing a b...

Why Kyle Eggleston Why must life be this way? I wonder to myself. Why must it be so difficult and not understanding to myself? Why must I wage this war against myself in order to find and figure out what’s going on in this life? So many why’s and never enough answers.

I don’t understand it. Life feels complicated at times. I wish it didn’t, but I’m not here to try and guess what is going on and what’s not going on. Life will be what it will be…but come on! There’s got to be a way to overcome all of these thoughts and emotions that I feel on a daily basis. That’s why I feel it’s complicated. Whatever will happen will happen and I don’t have a choice in the matter. It takes a bit to understand that, but, well who am I to make that judgement? Yeah I don’t understand it either. Talk about a strange odd life we live in.

Life Kyle Eggleston Such an odd thing this life. No one really knows or understands it best. But you have to grasp something in order to preserve it. So you grab onto some kind of meaning for life. You take that in and you culture it until you are able to present it as your own creation because you’ve created something based on your thoughts and feelings; so it is yours.

Life Is Weird Kyle Eggleston Life is just kind of weird. Let’s face it. If we didn’t know or understand ourselves, we would find that we weren’t all that weird just life is the weird part. However if life wasn’t weird it wouldn’t be that kind of life now would it? No, I didn’t think so. But that’s life for you. You never know where it will take you. It might take you left, it could take you right. You just never know where you’ll go.

If I only knew what this life would bring me, I think I could get by without that much of a problem. I mean sure life will come and go and we won’t know the difference because of it. It will be here one second and gone the next, that’s how life tends to work. We don’t always know what’s going to happen. I wish I could understand something about this life though, anything really. That would be quite nice. But alas I fear that I will be unable to understand anything right away. Life will be what it will be and I will have to simply understand that and be apart of it. It won’t always come to me easily I’m afraid. That’s life in a nutshell.

Life wasn't meant to be this way, I fear. I'm not sure exactly what that's supposed to mean? But I know it's not an easy thing to understand at times. That's what this life is all about. I mean we're here for reasons beyond our own knowledge. We don't have a clue why we're here, we just are. So what does that mean? I'm not sure. If I had an inkling of what it all meant? I would easily do something about it. But I don't, so I can't. Life will find a way to allow itself to be made known. That's all I know.

Life Is Weird, OK! Let's face it, life is weird. There's nothing we are able to do about it. It's weird and we have to accept that fact. There's nothing wrong with that thought process though. If life had to be more weirder or strange, then we wouldn't be here! We'd be off doing who knows what with whatever we might want to be doing it with or about. So that's life. I didn't say it was going to be okay mind you, just that it's weird. Nothing in life is meant to be this way I fear. If I could change the past, or the present, perhaps the future I would. But I fear it's all set in stone. There's nothing that can be done about it. So we have to allow it to take place and simply be whatever it will be. Don't allow these thoughts to fool you, you'll regret it.

Life Isn’t Fair Kyle Eggleston This life doesn’t always seem fair or feel fair. Life in general can be annoying at best. But what do you expect when that happens? I’ve been feeling sleepy as of late, I don’t know why that is. It just happens. I wish I didn’t feel so sleepy but I do and I must accept that. But back to life. Why does this life feel so difficult at times? I don’t understand why it does. There are so many thoughts and ideas out there that could be explained to us all, but they aren’t. That’s what bothers me most about this life. Being able to understand or comprehend everything that’s going on...you have to figure it all out on your own.

Nothing Makes Sense Kyle Eggleston Nothing makes sense in a world of things that really should make sense. Yet we live in such a world where we don’t have a full understanding of everything around us. Conspiracies raise up left and right long before we understand anything about them.

This life is here for a reason, we don’t have to say exactly what that reason is, we just have to believe in it no matter what happens in this life, we have to understand one thing. That thing is that we are not alone in the universe. I’m not saying there are aliens out there, but yeah there are aliens out there. It’s a concept that people have wondered about from time to time, there doesn’t appear to be anything else you can do but wonder what’s going on in the skies above us! There are so many things in this life that don’t always seem to matter, but you wish they would, at least that’s what I’d like to think would happen. I’m not sure that’s how this life is meant to be understood of course. If there’s anything in this life that doesn’t make sense, then it will always be there. It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s the absurdity of it all! Why should it make sense if there’s nothing to grasp from it all? I’m not sure I know the ansewr to that question. Such a life comes and goes an...

Welcome. There are many things in this life that I would like to try and figure out. It’s not always an easy journey though. Sometimes we come and go as we please, yet we really do not have the answers we are searching for. Lots of people have dreams. Ambition. Aspirations they wish to accomplish before they kick the bucket or leave this world as it were. I suppose that’s why they call it a bucket list. You kick the bucket and bam you’re gone. The dream belongs in the past. There is no current dream to belong to. Had I a dream, I would share it with everyone out there in the world if but a dream existed and there was a world to share. The dream begins as it always does. I’m swimming in a pool. A man enters and points a gun at me. Before I can reach for my own weapon, he fires two rounds into my chest killing me. I wake up in a startled mess. My sheets are soaked from sweat. I live another day only to have the dream again another night. After waking up, I have no recollection of ...

Why This Life? Kyle Eggleston Life comes at us without any kind of warning. We don’t know what’s going to happen most of the time. Yet here we are waiting for something good to come about. Something, anything, life has to allow it to become individualized somehow. But we don’t know exactly how any of that works. Does it have to work exactly? I don’t know.

Another week has come to an end. It’s felt like quite a week. I’m just glad to have a weekend to hopefully relax a bit. Who knows what the weekend will bring. Oh life, it’s better to see what you are about some days than others. The new meds make me sleepy. Not a good mix. Can’t seem to stop hiccuping. Darn medicine doing that to me. Some .1% to 1% my butt! I fell into that category.

Yesterday it was the plague, the death to millions. Today it’s the coronavirus. During all of this, just remember one simple thing. Be kind to others. It’s a simple thing to remember isn’t it? Be kind to your fellow men. Jesus taught this to people during his day. Love one another. Is it really that difficult to help people in time of need? I dare say it isn’t. Go forward with faith, your faith shall make you whole.

What Happened Kyle Eggleston Doesn’t make sense most days. What exactly happened? I don’t get it. I don’t understand any of it. Am I supposed to understand all of it? A piece of it? Portions? I’m feeling emotions and I don’t understand why I’m feeling these different emotions. I’d rather not speculate at all, but well what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t get it. I wish I understood everything that was happening lately. I don’t.

Seriously, have you never noticed how life has a funny way about it? I mean it’s here one moment then we die and it’s gone. That can’t be a simple coincidence, can it? I doubt it. There’s got to be something else at play when life is doing its thing. Whatever that may be, life has a tendency to do whatever it wants to and we’re left with what’s left over. Talk about a nightmare. But we do have the opportunity to try to understand what’s going on most days. If we don’t attempt an understanding, then what’s the use of it all? I don’t know if I’m asking the right question here. Life tends to go up and down like a roller coaster. There isn’t a definite stopping point. That’s simply what life is. It’s a continuous journey that we have to navigate and figure out.

Life wasn’t meant to be this way. We wake up every morning and try to get through it just to go to bed and wake up again the next day. Is that what we’re thinking? Is that what we want? I’m not sure, actually I’m sure it’s not what we want at all. Yet it’s what we do. We are here to figure things out and try to attempt new things meeting new people. That’s what life is about I think? I guess? Either way, here we are. Now, if we wanted to do something a little different, we could. Life could be much different than it currently is. But, we have to accept that it could be different. Either way? It won’t be useful to any of us until we decide that is what we want. But what do we want for real now? I mean, we could guess all day long what we want, but we cannot fully express ourselves for some reason. Does it matter? I’m not sure. I’d rather not think about everything which could go wrong with this plan, but well you have to take into account all the different angles, don’t you? Some woul...

No Reason Kyle Eggleston I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no reason to be alive. There’s no actual purpose to it. Why should there be a purpose to all this suffering and death. It doesn’t make any sense. There’s no reason for it at all. Step out of the box once in a while and see for yourself there’s nothing to be seen. If there’s nothing to be seen, then there’s nothing to be understood and we are good.

 

So I was logged out of my Apple account on my phone. I neglected to update my phone number in their system, so when I went to sign in again it wanted me to verify against a phone number I didn’t have access to. So I went through the hoops of requesting a recovery. (I’ve had to do this once before the last time I changed phone numbers, it took 30 days to complete!!) Well, the recovery thing told me to wait 24 hours for instructions in a text message. I waited. No text message. But they did e-mail me. They’ll send me a text message on the 24 th , so then I should be able to unlock my account and have access to all my media again. I’m starting to rethink owning physical media again. It’s just too darn easy to lose all your stuff when you depend on another company to keep it for you.

Keep it to yourself, that’s what matters at times. Sometimes we can’t allow that which is troubling us out into the open. So, what are you supposed to do about it all? So many things happen in this life, but what of those tings that don’t happen? Allow it to form in your mind. Let it flow through you. Whatever happens, simply let it happen. The thoughts can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. How about that! Life just happens to be that way at times. However this life is meant to be, it doesn’t have to go according to your wants or desires. It’s quite simple in fact. Life will be whatever it wants to be. End of story. But that’s not really the end now is it? I didn’t think so. Life comes with certain challenges. It is through those challenges that we become who we are meant to be. No lie, no bullshit. That’s a simple fact. This life will always be a burden of some kind or another. There is no escape from any of it. Everything at some point catches up with you. It’s that simple. I’m ...

What Is That Noise? Kyle Eggleston There’s a strange noise coming from outside my house. I dare say it’s the city working on something. It’s annoying. That’s what it is. Don’t even start to discuss why it’s annoying. Just a random noise, someone digging a hole or something. Fixing a pipe or something. It’s always “or something” isn’t it. Let’s not think about all the times “or something” came to mind. It happens to get lost in the shuffle and destroyed within ones mind. Someone will come along and fix it all you think. Well that someone never comes along and you just don’t quite know or understand what’s going on with any of it. So we sit here and we think about what’s going on. We want to understand and grasp everything, but we simply don’t know or have a clue of what to do about any of it. So we wait. What is it we wait for? Clarification of some kind. We hope and want to have an understanding of whatever that thing was. The noise that enters our mind keeps coming. We keep waitin...

Overthinking finds me in an impossible situation. But that’s life for the most part. Whatever happens in life will happen. We really don’t have a say in much of it. I suppose that’s life in a nutshell now isn’t it? It would be better if I understood all there was to comprehend from life. If only there was a way to accomplish all of that. The mind can be a badly diseased factory at times. Talk about a nightmare. Let’s talk about today for a moment. I’m depressed today. The problem isn’t being depressed. The problem is I don’t know how I got here. When I get depressed, I become suicidal. Now that isn’t something to be proud of. But I can’t seem to escape it. Have you d# Mon Jul 20 11:25:12 AM MDT 2026 Overthinking finds me in an impossible situation. But that’s life for the most part. Whatever happens in life will happen. We really don’t have a say in much of it. I suppose that’s life in a nutshell now isn’t it? It would be better if I understood all there was to comprehend from life. ...

Helplessness Kyle Eggleston Not everything in life makes sense. Somedays we are here waiting for life to come along and kick us in the rear. Other days we are waiting for something to happen. That something rarely ever happens though. We are caught in a landslide of whatever there is to be caught in and we don’t have any idea how to go about getting around it. If that makes sense. After everything is said and done, we are left with the ability to recover. Legs decide to stop working, arms don’t want to function either. Our brain decides to stop thinking. We’re left with the most basic abilities around and we cannot grasp why that is. Almost like we are stuck in a never ending cycle of helplessness. It would be nice to be able to grasp hold of whatever is controlling us and shake it loose. That doesn’t always happen though. Most of the time we are stuck and simply don’t have the ability to get loose at all. So, why does that happen to us? Why do we feel like we can’t go on? Does it ...

Okay, I get it Zod is the bad guy. But is he an idiot? You take blue Kryptonite to make sure you don’t get sucked up to another world only to put it into your foe…and you get sucked up into that other world anyways? Wow! I kind of saw that coming, I won’t lie. Season 9 felt like a real slow burn for me. I like that about the older TV shows when we got more than twenty episodes a season! Talk about a wild ride. Season Nine did not disappoint. Now, onto Season Ten! The final and last season of Smallville.

Death Please? Kyle Eggleston Death. It’s an interesting word. It’s an interesting goal. I mean no one gets out of this life alive. So the endgame goal of this life is to die. Right? Some want it sooner than later, some want it right now. Or yesterday. Either way, they wish to die. There’s nothing wrong with wishing to die just as long as you don’t act on it...or so I’m told. I don’t know. Death would be nice right now. It would be a welcomed relief to this life, this agony and pain I feel at times. It just would be nice to be done with it all. Instead, here I sit writing this. I don’t get to die. I don’t get to just leave this earth and see what else is out there. I have to suffer with this pain in my legs and hope for one day that the pain will be gone and I will be able to live as a spirit or something and not feel a thing. Yes, that would be nice. That’s the endgame goal I seek. Let it come.

Being in psychosis means experiencing a severe disruption in how your brain processes reality. It is a state of “losing touch” with the world around you, characterized primarily by hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that aren’t there) and delusions (holding false, unshakeable beliefs despite contrary evidence). It is not an illness itself, but rather a set of symptoms often tied to conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression, or triggered by extreme stress, trauma, or substance use. Key experiences and signs include: Hallucinations: Experiencing sensations that other people cannot share, such as hearing voices or seeing shadows. Delusions: Believing things that are untrue, like the feeling that you are being plotted against. Disorganized Thinking: Using incoherent language, jumping rapidly between unrelated topics, or having trouble concentrating. Changes in Behavior: Withdrawing from friends and family, neglecting self-care, or having ...

What The Fuck Life Kyle Eggleston Okay so the title isn’t very nice, it’s crude actually. I don’t know how best to express myself at the moment. Here we are. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of escape. Everything simply passes into the abyss and we are here hoping for something good to come out of it. I mean, is there anything good that can come out of it? I don’t know. There’s so much in life that we cannot even find the beginning of the good that might come around from it. What’s good in life? Can you give me one good thing that I can be thankful for in this life? I would love to hear it. I cannot think of something good. I can sit here yeah, but that doesn’t mean something good will actually come from any of it. It would be nice to simply breathe and be calm for a moment. I don’t know how any of this will play out. I don’t know how any of it will end, I’m simply at a loss and I cannot understand how anything will happen. It would be nice to be able to smile and allow everything ...

The voices are indeed angry today. I don’t know what to do about them. I mean they’re here for a reason, maybe? I don’t know. I wish I had a clue about why they like to torment me. That would be a good thing to get to the bottom of. They want me to do things, things I don’t want to do. So I won’t do them, because any sane person wouldn’t follow what the voices want them to do! I mean come on now. Isn’t that just logical? Yeah, something like that. Freezing today too. Might be because I have a cold and am sick. Not feeling good at all. All my joints are hurting too. The voices love to talk about that though. Oh yeah, they like to tell me it’s my fault I’m not feeling good. WTF! Seriously? I hate it. I really do. But what am I supposed to do about it? I haven’t a clue. That’s life I guess.

If I had the opportunity to tell the world something it would be this we are going to be okay Don’t believe anything else this world tells you it won’t come out to make sense in the end

Under Pressure by Kyle Eggleston Ever feel like you’re under pressure to believe or think a certain way? You’re just stuck in an ever going circle hoping to please those all around you, you never know for certain if you’ll actually please any of them but that’s what you want to do. You want to make other people happy and make sure they’re content in all and everything they do. So why can’t I focus on my wants and needs to make me happy in this life? Makes sense right? I mean I want to be happy, why can’t I find a way to focus on me for once? I’m too afraid of what other people will think and say...it’s almost better off if I were no longer living. If I were dead. Something like that. I would rather be dead than experiencing no joy in my life ever again. Why do I feel this way? Why don’t I understand how best to make my life better? You’re not worth it. I know that, don’t you think I know this? Of course I’m not worth the love I give others. I’m not worth allowing that same love t...

Sometimes we have to dream for today and live in the present. We can’t afford to live in the future when it hasn’t come yet. Nor can we afford to live in the past. We must be present in the present, if that makes any sense. I know it can be confusing at times, but that’s what we must to in order to strive to do what’s right in this life. When life comes into focus, when it comes into view, we are able to see clearly what needs to be changed about it. That’s how life works at times. We don’t always see what’s going on, but we need to look deeper into the true meaning behind it all. We can’t live behind a curtain forever. We have to someday accept our fate, the facts are there laying in the sand and written on the wall for all to see. That’s what this life is all about. We have to be able to do what is necessary in order to accept what is true. To accept our fate and destiny.

Will It Ever End? by Kyle Eggleston The question stands as it was initially presented. Will it ever end? That is, will the war that goes on in my mind ever cease to exist? One would hope it would. One would imagine it would go away eventually. But we cannot always decide what will happen in this life. We cannot determine if something will go our way or if it will not. We simply cannot hope and wish for something to happen hoping it will go away. The war I speak of is a constant battle in my head. I deal with it everyday. There doesn’t appear to be an end in sight. It tells me to do bad things to myself, I have to stand firm and strong ignoring it all the time. It’s not always easy, but I keep at it and I try to defend myself at all times. So far so good, we’ll see how long it will last.

Oh voices, get out! Get out! Get out! You don’t need to be there telling me what to do and what not to do. Who to do it to etc. You need to go away. Is that too much to ask? I doubt it. But I fear the voices will never go away. They’ll be with me for a long time, and I don’t like that. Do the voices have a purpose in life? I doubt it. I don’t think they have a good purpose with anything. They’re evil voices after all. There isn’t anything good about them! At least I don’t think there is anything good about them. If there were, they wouldn’t be doing all the things now would they? No, I didn’t think so.

Life? Kyle Eggleston What is the purpose of life? I’m really getting stumped at this level of thought. I mean I know what we’re supposed to believe is the purpose of life, to do all we can become to live with God again, have multiple wives, create our own planets and have lots of spirit babies so they can do exactly what we went through while we were here on earth. However, that really doesn’t answer the question. If that’s all we’re here to do...I mean doesn’t that seem kind of redundant and boring to you? It does to me. I’d rather think we’d live with God instead of going off on our own. Wouldn’t you want to be with that being who gave you life forever? Instead of going off being your own god and creating whatever you wanted etc? I don’t know...there has to be something more to it than that. Maybe I’m just not thinking about it all clearly, and I don’t know what’s going on at all. Perhaps that’s just how this life is meant to be played out? Who’s to know exactly how this life wor...

Life by Kyle Eggleston You’d think we would be able to solve everything in this life without problems. All of these humans could learn to work together and solve every issue that came up. Right? But instead we have people going to war with each other and life just doesn’t get a win, ever. How many scientists are out there? How many have one piece to the puzzle and others have another piece to the puzzle? What if they all just worked together and added those pieces together instead of working alone. What would happen? Ever think and wonder about that? Most people don’t, well I’m assuming most people don’t.

We Don’t Have A Clue by Kyle Eggleston Today is but a day. I do not know how else to explain it, or how to describe any of it. We live in a world where nothing really happens, except for what we allow to happen. Does that make any sense? I doubt it would. We simply live in a world...we wish for that world to be something unique. Something we are able to grasp and understand. We hardly grasp or understand half of the things that go on in this world. I mean, if we really understood it all wouldn’t we have a better grasp of how things work? Yeah that’s what I thought. But we don’t. We don’t have any clue how this world is meant to exist, or how it is meant to survive. How are we to survive on a world like this? There are so many different options out there, we don’t have a clue. We need to get a clue.

Feeling off lately. I don’t know how to explain any of it. That’s just life as it comes to you at times. Life will do whatever it takes to ensure it finds its way out of the forest. That’s the secret to life, don’t let it get in the way of what’s out there. Overthinking can only get you so far in this life. It has a way of making this life impossible. But what do you expect with such a life? Not much, I’m afraid, not much at all.

Life feels weird at times. I don’t think there is anything that can be done about it. That’s okay though. So many emotions floating about today. It would be nice to figure it all out. I don’t think that will be possible though. There are so many things in this life. I don’t know where to begin most days. It’s a crazy thing this life, I just need to figure out what this life has to offer. Sometimes the answers we seek aren’t meant to be found. They simply cannot find peace in this life. It’s a shame really. So you have to ask yourself what’s important in this life. It’s not that difficult of a question really. It does make me wonder at times how this life is meant to move forward. Not everything can make sense all of the time. That’s just how this life works.

Never Go Back by Kyle Eggleston Sometimes, you gotta accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be. That’s an interesting thought. You can never go back in time to fix or change anything. It’s just not possible. We might want to go back in time and change anything, everything, but we can’t. Simple? Well not simple to hear, but very easy to say. So what do we do about all of this? Nothing. We do nothing. We can do nothing. You’d like to do something, but no that’s really not going to do any good in this life. So we wait. We wait for something to come along and hopefully we are able to anticipate the future. The future is all we can hope for.

The weekend is finally here. Feels like it’s been quite a week already. Talk about busy busy and that’s only half of it! Life itself has a tendency to feel a bit complex at times. I don’t know the severity of it. Just that it is and that’s simply life. I suppose if life weren’t such a challenge, what would the point of it [life] be? So you can see the point I’m attempting to illustrate here. Life has a way of tearing you down and beating you to a pulp. Maybe that’s not the issue though. Maybe the real issue is the fact we allow life to tear us down from time to time. Could that be the main source to the problem that is life? I think it is. Since we allow it to happen, we have no one to blame but ourselves. Depression sets in. You can only hide from it for so long. The mind tends to believe what it wants to believe as far as psychosis is concerned. There doesn’t seem to be a way back from such a thing. Once you’re locked into the simulation, you’re stuck there. There can be no escape...

Psychosis is quite real. Having been in and out of psychosis a lot of times, you never really get use to it. Sometimes it sneaks up on you without warning. It can be a wakeup call at times for sure. But I have to take whatever comes my way I guess. The voices get annoying at times for sure. When you live in the trenches of your own mind, you can feel quite trapped. Being trapped in your own mind can be terrifying, in its own right. But just because we feel trapped doesn’t mean we have to live there. Life is full of surprises, you mind doesn’t really care how you feel. It’s going to do whatever it wants to do. Sometimes that means we have to walk through Hell in order to get where we belong. It can be quite a learning curve is all. If I could put a stop to it all, I would. I don’t even know where to begin with it all. Life can be a bit confusing at times. What am I supposed to do with that confusion? The truth to it all will be my own downfall. No matter what happens in this life, i...

The Scary “C” Word by Kyle Eggleston There’s a scary word out there that begins with the letter C. Know what that word is? Cancer Yep, that’s right. It’s a word that is scary no one wants to hear or read or see...or whatever there is regarding it. I don’t know what to think. Bone Cancer is a possibility. That’s all I know. It’s creepy just thinking that could be a thing someone could have. I mean, what happens if that’s the case? Do we just deal with it and hope for the best? Who does that? Who can just hope for the best and see what happens? Shoot. Talk about a crazy thought that happens and comes and goes and whatever else there is. I mean, I don’t want to have to deal with that thought process. Just waiting to hear back from the doctor about it is freaking me out. It happens a lot. I try not to think about it, but then I end up thinking about it even more...who knows how it will end. I don’t. I wish I did. But for now I’m just sitting here waiting.

Some quotes on the Word Of Wisdom “Some of the men were excessive chewers of the filthy weed, and their disgusting slobbering and spitting caused Mrs. Smith … to make the ironical remark that ‘It would be a good thing if a revelation could be had declaring the use of tobacco a sin, and commanding it’s suppression.’ The matter was taken up and joked about, one of the brethren suggested that the revelation should also provide for a total abstinence from tea and coffee drinking, intending this as a counter ‘dig’ at the sisters.” Sure enough the subject was afterward taken up in dead earnest, and the ‘Word of Wisdom’ was the result.” — David Whitmer, Des Moines Daily News, 16 Oct 1886 (as quoted here in footnote #51: https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=6038&context=etd ) “Joseph Smith tried the faith of the Saints many times by his peculiarities. At one time he had preached a powerful sermon on the Word of Wisdom, and immediately thereafter he rode through the...

Overthinking again, what a surprise. It’s life, that’s what’s going on today. Such an amusing thought process is all. If life has a purpose how would that look exactly? Is it so complicated a question? Life itself can feel quite complex at times. I don’t make the rules. They just appear when they want to. I can’t control them nor would I want to. It’s a pipe dream to think I’m in control over anything. I’ve long since learned I have no control over my life. There’s always someone else pulling the strings. That’s just how this life works. Life is but a game. A dangerous game at that, but what else is new? I want to die. But dying wouldn’t end my suffering. Why must life be so damn confusing most days? I’m not sure I fully understand it all. I mean come on now! Existing simply to exist doesn’t feel like it has much purpose in this life. I don’t have another way of expressing this thought. Where there is light, there is darkness. No matter how it’s spun, that’s the truth of it all. T...