DreamSense

There Should Be Space Wed Feb 12 20:54:57 MST 2020 There should be space where nothing makes sense and that’s okay with everyone. There should be a place where absolutely nothing matters, and we don’t have a clue what’s going on, but again it doesn’t matter…so we survive. Things like that. Isn’t that okay? Isn’t that what this life should be about? Something like that.

Okay, so I just finished Season 8. HOLY CRAP they killed Jimmy Olsen! I did not see that coming! I’m starting to think Doomsday/David was a prick. But hey, that’s just my own thought on the matter. He sure didn’t want anyone having Chloe but himself. Good thing Clark took care of Doomsday. It took me a moment to realize that the battle was over once they hit that geothermal station and things exploded. To be honest, I’m not impressed with the Doomsday storyline in Smallville. It didn’t capture the same erie feeling that the comics did. I don’t think anyone has accurately portrayed Doomsday the way he was meant to be seen. Some have come close, but even then they got things wrong. I would love to be able to watch a true Superman Doomsday throwdown. You know what I’m talking about, where Superman dies but before dying he learns that Doomsday’s bones are his weakness and takes him out. Just like in the comics. But alas, I think that would be too long of a movie to fully explain Doomsda...

Sometimes life can be crazy and unpredictable. Such is life if you stop to think about it. Talk about a wild ride. If I could give life a break, I would. But, you see, life won’t give me a break. That’s all there is to it. Life will give you answers on its own terms. It’s not some kind of fairytale. It’s just life. Such a funny thing this life. There really isn’t anything it doesn’t know. Life has been around a lot longer than you or me. The funny thing about life is, it doesn’t wait for us to make a choice. So we have to allow life to do what it’s meant to do and be. There’s no going back once this life gets in motion. Life really can be an interesting thing at times. But there really isn’t anything we can do about this life. We are not in control of our own destiny. If I had one wish for this life it would be to understand my purpose, my humanity. If destiny and fate are real, what are they to me? Such an interesting question don’t you think? I don’t know if I actually believe in...

Wed Jan 8 14:19:58 MST 2020 Today doesn’t feel like much of a day. I can’t explain it. It just feels like something is bothering me and I don’t know what. It would be nice to figure out exactly what is going on, but well when you can’t figure things out like this? What are you meant to do. Exactly. Nothing. There’s nothing you are able to do about any of it, you’re stuck with everything that comes your way. I doubt it has anything to do with anything I’ve done or not done. Just that I’m confused by why I feel this way. So there’s that I guess.

Tue Jan 7 19:39:37 MST 2020 Let’s talk about today than shall we? I’d like to think it would be a nice moment in time if we could simply get along with everything that happens in this life, yet I doubt it will. It’s a shame if you think about it. A real shame. But what are you going to do with any of it? No one knows exactly. So here we sit waiting for something better to come along, hoping for something to happen and allowing us to actually see what is real and what isn’t.

Religion and all things relating to it are man made constructs. There is no higher power at play. It all comes from the simple minds of people. That’s the simple truth of it all. There is no middle ground, no shades of grey. Life happens when we least expect it. There are two extremes in this life. It is either good or it is evil. There isn’t much of a middle ground as far as that is concerned. At the center of it all is some kind of God figure watching the world simply burn. If there is a God, He doesn’t show much for His children. Sure you can say He is bound by laws, doesn’t mean it’s true. It could be my psychosis thinking all of this up. I do not know the reason behind it all. If there were a God at the center of it all, would He really make me this way? Why is that? Am I meant to suffer? Maybe life is meant to be cruel at times. I mean come on now, what would you rather believe? This life is perfect? I think not! Life has its reasons to be whatever it wants to be. There is n...

Overthinking, yet again. I’m not sure what to think about this life most days. If I said it was confusing, that would be telling the truth. But what can I do about it? Not much I’m afraid. Not much at all. That’s how the cookie crumbles at times. It’s a silly thought now isn’t it? That’s what I was thinking too! If life had a purpose, what would it be? There are so many things in this life which require our undivided attention. You cannot deny that as a fact. It’s proof that life exists for a reason. A pretty good reason if you ask me. Life, at various times, is full of surprises. They can be good or bad, I think it all depends on the situation. Nothing in life is set in stone as it is always on the move towards adventure. But we can’t always be tied down to that which we don’t have. We don’t have control over things we don’t have or aren’t in our orbit. ’Tis the beast’s true nature that one. Confusing at times? Most definitely. Talk about an upset on a most terrible scale of terrib...

Uniqueness is often a trait we seek after. Traits are what make us all who we are. We don’t always have a say about a lot of our traits. Some are quite simply a product of how and where we were raised. Running around with scissors can be dangerous. Knowledge itself can be a dangerous concept. Yet here we are metaphorically running with scissors. The music continues to play. We have no control over the music. It’s quite an unfortunate happenstance. In this instance, the music represents voices and hallucinations. They can be a menace for sure. So many things to hear and relate to our own existence. Maybe it’s the little things that get on my nerves most days. I don’t know how else to put it all. Feels like a waste of time to worry about what the intrusive thoughts have to say to me. I can wish all I want, but let’s fact it. Wishing never got me a damn in the first place. I have a lump in my throat. It’s been there all fucking day. Pretty sure it’s anxiety related. I’m anxious about...

Life is confusing at best. I don’t know how else to describe it most days. Talk about a conundrum! But that’s life. If we knew what was coming, life wouldn’t be that much of a challenge would it? Yes, life sure feels like a challenge at times. You know the adage, life isn’t always fair. Well it’s not, is it. To each their own madness it would seem. We are al mad here anyway. No matter how I look at life, it feels like time is slowly slipping away from me. What happens when that time runs out? It’s something to consider now isn’t it? Maybe it’s a wasted thought of nothing, I do not know. If that’s the case, then isn’t this writing exercise futile as well? Perhaps it is indeed. I hate to think that’s the case. Thinking about life can be quite rewarding in its own right. Overthinking, on the other hand, can be dangerous. Life is a history book full of lessons. Will we triumph over evil? Turn the page. It is perhaps merely a metaphor. Yet it is a powerful one at that. But that’s life f...

Tue Jan 7 20:06:13 MST 2020 There has got to be some reason for these thoughts. Whatever thoughts come into my mind, I mean they have to have a reason right? Worry, regret, things I can’t control. Everything else which simply can’t be understood or controlled…things like that. I don’t know what to do with these thoughts. People tell me to simply forget about them. Let them go. Who’s to know how that’s meant to work out. I don’t have a clue. I wish I did. That would be nice, but I don’t. I mean, if life is meant to be simple…a breeze, something we’re meant to accomplish well into our 90s etc, if we live that long. Then aren’t we suppose to be able to do something with it? Aren’t we meant to be able to accomplish something and just be there for each other? No matter what happens? Life comes and goes, it’s not meant to be out there out there, but here we are. We don’t know what happens all the time. We don’t know what goes on when we aren’t listening or aren’t watching. We simply don’t ...

So, Doomsday showed up in Smallville. They were hinting at it. Jor-El told Clark in the fortress that Doomsday was coming. I was like, wait a second, doesn’t Superman meet up with Doomsday? Not some before Superman kid? Yeah…that was unexpected to say the least. I’m not sure if I want Clark to deal with Doomsday at this juncture. I mean, yes we’re talking about a show that’s been off the air for like twenty something years, but I’m a first time watcher so it’s exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens! I did read a few spoilers, I need to stop doing that! So I have an idea of what to expect about a certain character. (I think the whole thing is kinda dumb if you ask me, but it’s…whatever. When I get to that point I’ll rant about it.)

So, the voices have started up again. I don’t know how to quiet them down? I mean they’re here, so they must want something , I don’t know what that is though. If I had any clue or idea of what they are meant to do with me? Then I would have a clue, but I don’t? So that’s where the confusion tends to come in. Gah! I hate living like this. I want it all to go away or stop completely. There’s got to be something I can do to quiet the voices. I fear this is just something I’ll have to grow accustomed to, something to get used to? I don’t like thinking like that though. It’s like admitting defeat or something crazy. I’d rather not deal with such nonsense, but if I can’t stop it? What can I do about it exactly? I don’t know. Maybe I can sing a song in my head, could that stop them? I’m not sure. Something has got to give when it comes to the voices though. I know I’m not the only one to hear them, there are others who have their own personal voices going on in their heads. I’m not alone in...

Tue Jan 7 19:48:36 MST 2020 Maybe life isn’t actually meant to be made sense of…what if we’re just here doing our thing and we don’t exactly know why we are here or what we are doing? Is that possible? I don’t see why not. I mean, if we are here and other people are someplace else…wouldn’t that simply make sense that they want something good to happen to them as well? I would think so.

Okay, okay. So…what happened to Lex? Did Lex die? He and Clark went down in the huge ice/crystal Fortress of Solitude thing as it collapsed all around them and then what? Season Eight starts and there’s no Lex! What happened to Lex? I had to google it, and the actor wanted to pursue other things in his career, a noble choice, and they brought in this Tess Mercer chick? What the hell is going on with her?! I want Lex back! I mean, first Lionel, now Lex? WTF man?! Why is this happening? I get it, shows that last for a while they tend to fizzle out every now and then and it’s time to bring in new blood into the family. But seriously? Lex? Lex Luthor? He’s Superman’s arch enemy! You can’t kill the guy! Can you?! If they did kill him, then I guess he’s dead. Gone. Kaput! But come on now. WTF mate?!

Anxiety and depression often feed off each other in a vicious cycle. Anxiety causes hyper-arousal and racing, fearful thoughts, while depression brings deep fatigue, hopelessness, and apathy. When they clash, you might feel highly energized to fix a worry one minute, then completely paralyzed by a depressive crash the next. 1 So yeah, let’s talk about the elephant(s) in the room! Anxiety and Depression go hand in hand a lot of times. They tend to do battle, and the battlefield is your mind. It’s annoying as all get out, but what are you supposed to do about it? I’m not sure! It would be nice to be able to figure all of this out finally. But I’m not sure I have the resources available to do that. On one hand I care so much about what happens, and then I don’t care at all. It’s both confusing and mixed up at the same time! Talk about a mess inside my mind. I don’t know what to do about it though? I mean, it’s obviously an issue right? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking about. Cleve...

Anxiety is a bunch of hooey. I don’t know how else to say it. Having panic attacks that send you to the hospital are not good! I wish I had a clue of how to navigate through this life without anxiety. But I’m not sure I know how to do that, unfortunately. I’ve seen books that have to deal with anxiety and all of that, but the books I’ve seen? They tend to say “control it, we won’t tell you how to do that, but you need to control it!” So, maybe I’m not reading the right books on the subject? I don’t know. Then the panic attacks come my way, and I don’t know how to deal with those either. I just have to hang on for dear life, and hope for the best. I think that’s the best way to handle these situations right now. I guess. I hate that thought process though, it comes with a price; that’s for sure. Living with anxiety is like always contemplating what could happen or what might happen without just allowing life to take place and happen. I can’t allow life to just flow how it wants to a...

Mon Jan 6 20:29:05 MST 2020 Today seems like just another day until you realize there’s more to it than there ever was to begin with. I mean, think about it. Life comes and goes we don’t fully understand or trust it do we? No, I didn’t think so. Why should we trust it now?

There are a lot of things in this life I don’t quite understand. I get it, maybe life isn’t meant to be understood? I’m not sold that’s the case though. There has got to be some things I am to understand or at least grasp with my limited knowledge, at least one would hope! (I sure as hell hope I can grasp something in this life. Anything really.) Alas here I am, simply wondering how this life is meant to turn out. I’m not sure I get how it’s all meant to go at times. Am I meant to simply be okay with that thought process? I don’t know. Perhaps we aren’t meant to understand anything in this life, and all this learning is but for nothing? Nah, that can’t be the case. We can’t be spinning our wheels for all these years, just to find out it’s all for nothing. That’s silly and ridiculous. If I can but learn one thing in life, it would be how to deal and cope with whatever tends to come my way. There has to be something I am able to do about it all without the overthinking and thought pro...

You Are In Control Jan 3, 2020 Today is just another day. There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean if you wish it were a normal day then make it a normal day. If you want it to be a day where nothing happens, let it be a day where nothing happens. Just let it be whatever you wish it to be! There’s no one there to tell you how your day will go. You decide how you want your own day to go and how you want it to be. You do. No one else. It’s that simple.

So, I was watching Smallville (what else is new I know), and Lionel dies??? It was a WTF moment for sure! Lex just upped and pushed him out the window! WOW I was not expecting that! I mean maybe I should have seen it coming? I’m sure the clues have been there all along, it’s been building up to…something? But this? I, I was shocked to say the least! Lionel was starting to grow on me. But if he’s dead? Who knows what will happen next. Part of me is wondering if he was a clone. If he actually faked his death, or had his clone confront Lex because he knew Lex would do something to kill him? I’m not sure. But then again, why would the clone be wearing the locket with the key? So many unanswered questions! On to the next episode!

Whatever Aug 21, 2019 So many thoughts come to mind these days. There’s nothing really you can do without going crazy. I know it’s all part of this life, but this life doesn’t have to be part of it. Does that make sense? I’m not sure. It would be nice if I could figure out whatever goes on in this life, have it make some kind of sense. But well, we simply don’t have the answers to any of it. So here we sit.

Where To Now? Aug 20, 2019 If I should go before you do just remember you’ll always mean so much to me Don’t forget all that we’ve been through yet it’s over life continues on

What In The World? Aug 9, 2019 So there are thoughts that cannot be shared at times. Life doesn’t do what you want it to do. Life happens and you just have to deal with whatever comes your way. There’s nothing wrong with that thinking, it just happens to be that way. So life comes along and you have to decide what you’re going to do with it. You just have to think and do. Sometimes, there’s no thinking. You just have to do.

It feels like a day already, and the day has just begun! I’m not sure what to do with this knowledge or power, or whatever it is that I’m feeling. It’s a surge of something. I feel tired though. Not sure why? I drank a bunch of coffee, and I mean a bunch of it! Talk about a wild ride for sure. It should spring me awake, but I feel sleepy and tired. I wish that feeling would go away. Oh well, I’m sure something good might come of it? Who knows.

Doesn’t Matter Jul 26, 2019 There are so many things in this life which simply don’t matter. Why should they matter? Who cares if they matter or not? It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be worried about. There’s no reason for anything to be worried about at all. That’s what life does to you. You worry and then you go away. Everything eventually ends and it all becomes nothing.

I Don’t Know How Jul 25, 2019 I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know how to do anything right now. I’m just here waiting for whatever seems like whatever and will happen. It has to stop at some point, has to be okay again somehow in my head. I don’t know how that will look, or what it will look like at all.

Not Only Today Jul 24, 2019 There are thoughts that go through my head a lot. Sometimes it’s on a daily basis. It’s not only a one day kind of thing. So they stick around and there’s nothing I can do about it. Seriously. It would be nice to be able to do something about the thoughts, but for now I can’t. I just have to deal with them, and that really sucks.

Ever wonder what this life is all about? I sure have. Hell, I wonder about it everyday! There are things in this life that don’t make sense to me. I cannot explain them. So they remain a mystery. Life is simply a matter of time between independent thought and thoughts that don’t matter. It’s a simple benefit to you that make matters feel worse than they really are. Does that make any sense? I doubt it. But that’s life in a nutshell.

Had a sleepless night last night. No matter what I did I couldn’t fall asleep. I’m not sure what’s up with that? Is it the smoke in the air from the fires? I mean yeah I’m experiencing shortness of breath and wheezing because of the smoke in the air. It feels like I have something in my throat that won’t go away. It would be nice if it did go away though, I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work. It seems like I never know how this life tends to work at times. I wish I did though, that would be a good thing! Yet here I am, and I’m suffering in silence do to it all. I kept tossing and turning last night. Every time I thought I was going to fall asleep, I actually didn’t fall asleep. My back hurts too. [Wife] thinks it’s stress related, that could be the case. Eh, who knows how any of this life works most of the time? I sure as hell don’t! I need to have a good nights rest at times. I know [Wife] doesn’t sleep worth a damn either and she suffers from it. I wish that wasn’t the case. I ...

Why Does It Exist Jul 22, 2019 Why do things exist? Why exactly does that one thing exist? Doesn’t make sense. There should be enough reasons for something to exist, yet they don’t always exist for anything and everything. So here we are. Why does that exist? Does it make sense for it to be there? Does it make sense for it to actually be there? It doesn’t matter does it? I’m not sure.

So…last night, when I was in bed. I kept hearing a voice. I can’t remember what it was saying, but I do remember it getting madder as I was yelling at it to stop. I just wanted the damn voice to stop, and I couldn’t make it stop! Oh man that was annoying, so very annoying that it wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t make it stop. Life feels so difficult at times with these voices doing whatever the hell they want to do in my head. I can’t seem to shake them. Maybe I need to be put on a different medication? I’m not sure. I just want to feel normal, whatever normal is. I’m not even sure I know what normal is now! Talk about a nightmare. A living nightmare that I cannot control in any way, shape, or form. I want it to end somehow. I don’t even know how to make that possible.

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. Ah, I don’t think I have any problems with this Article of Faith. Naturally humans are humans and not everyone follows these as a tenet. As a people, we strive to do what is right. If you’re obeying God’s commands you have no reason to break local laws. That kind of thing I think. The laws of the land are an important thing to follow. They keep us out of trouble if we’re doing the right things and not causing any chaos. So yeah that’s good. Obeying the laws are an important part of life. Kings and other rulers. Yeah, well if your country has a king (the United States doesn’t), then you have to be subject to them. Same as presidents and other rulers of the country you live in. It all comes down to obedience I think. Obey and you will be blessed.

Another Day Jul 17, 2019 It is but another day, nothing seems to matter. Here we are simply living to the best of our ability. Why bother with anything else?

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. Okay, so there are a few tings to unpack here. Let’s list them: Literal gathering of Israel Restoration of the Ten Tribes New Jerusalem will be built in Amercia Christ will come back and reign Earth to become a kingdom Did I get all of those right? I think I did, not sure though. I mean it’s an interesting list to say the least. I think the “New Jerusalem” part is meant to happen in Missouri. Don’t quote me on that, but they do have Adam-ondi-Ahman there, I think? Let’s google it: Adam-ondi-Ahman is a historically significant site in Daviess County, Missouri, located about 70 miles north of Kansas City. According to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is where Adam and Eve lived ...

Dear Dad, I miss you. Today is Father’s Day, and I miss you so much! I want to call you and let you know I love you, and I miss you. But I can’t! Talk about a wild trip! I don’t get it. I’m not sure I fully understand what’s going on in this life, but it just isn’t fair. Love, Kyle

So…Lana. I’m not sure I understand her as a main character. It feels like she’s just along for the ride by Season 7. I’m sure the writers had a reason to continue her story line but uh I don’t grasp why. Maybe she’ll find a purpose or meaning. I don’t know what that purpose would be of course. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how it all turns out. OK so she gets Clark’s powers at one point. She becomes kind of a bitch. Or she’s been like that since she married Lex.

BE TRUE TO THINE SELF. To utter such a phrase unto the which like a person must be found under. Is it not that which we strive to do unto the day of the ceasing breath? Of which I dare say to the audience at hand, do it or be damned. A night doth not go by where I find myself thinking. Perhaps overthinking upon the likes of which this life will destroy me. Oh to be destroyed long before it even began. That is which I wish for all. To understand truth, one must be destroyed before they are able to build themselves up again. It is a thought, take it or leave it by the way. It would appear to some this life is a matter of destruction. The kings of the nations of the world would have you believe they are the greatest powers of all. Each raise up armies, navies of the like all in order to reign supreme. But in their darkest of night, how are they able to see that which causes them the most evil of darkness. Riches of the world cannot solve everything. To each their own . It is a phrase u...

So I’m watching Smallville Season 7 and Dean Cain shows up and he’s a bad guy? Yeah talk about an unexpected twist! I’m not sure I like the thought of him being evil. But he is an actor so I guess that’s what happens when a story needs a role filled. It gets confusing when someone asks “hey isn’t that Clark Kent?” Yes, but wrong version of Superman. Wrong show. But impressed they knew something about Superman. So, yeah. That’s how the Kryptonite tumbles!

Sometimes I sit back and wonder why. It’s a simple question, it goes along with about four other questions that tend to get answered at the same time. The four w’s and the h. You know the ones I’m talking about: Who What When Where How Yeah, something like that. Okay, so why isn’t in that list apparently. Maybe we should add it to the list so it’s the five w’s and the one h. Now that would be a good thing, wouldn’t it? I sure hope it would be, if it’s not then there’s something to actually worry about. Well I didn’t put why in the list apparently, it should be in there I think? Who, what, when, where, why, and how? Yeah that makes more sense to me. I mean why wouldn’t we include the word why? That’s what I was thinking! There are a lot of why’s in this life. Why’s I don’t have answers to. Why’s I would love to have answers to. But I don’t see that happening anytime soon and I am at a loss for words. I don’t like it when I’m this way, so I try not to be this way very much. Yet...

—- title: The Boy Who Cried Wolf author: Kyle Eggleston date: Friday, June 19, 2026 keywords: [thinking] —- There is a story about a boy who was watching a flock. He got bored and called out that a wolf was attacking the flock. The villagers came and the boy said they scared the wolf off. They cheered him for being a hero. The next night the boy dis the same thing. Again the villagers came but found no wolf. The third night an actual wolf came. The boy called out about the wolf. The villagers didn’t come. They figured the boy was spinning tales. The wolf gobbled the boy up. The moral of the story is simple. Don’t tell the same lie twice. At least that’s what Garak from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine would have us believe. Yeah talk about a bad kid. He got what he deserved I guess.

Jim looked out the window of his fortieth floor apartment suite. It wasn’t every day he had the grand view of an alien invasion. Life just wasn’t going to be the same anymore after today. He sipped on his tea and smiled. Why should it be the same? He thought. Life never did him any favors. As Jim took another sip of his tea, his phone rang. He walked over to a large oak desk and picked up the receiver. “Yes.” He said. The woman on the other end of the line was hysterical. “Jim! Jim! They’re here!” Jim laughed. “Yes Gertrude, I know. I watched them land on the Empire State Building. Quite a site if you ask me.” “But but…” Gertrude continued. “What do they want? What are we going to do about it?!” She was panicked and rightfully so. Jim shrugged as he placed a hand in his pocket. “They want to rule over us, it can’t be that bad now Gertrude, can it? I mean they probably see what kind of a mess we’ve gotten ourselves in and just want to help. I’m sure it will be fine. We aren’t going...

Delaware(1787) – The First State. Delaware was the first colony to ratify the U.S. Constitution, and by doing so, became the first state. Its capital city is Dover. Pennsylvania(1787) – The Keystone State. Our home state became the second state to ratify the Constitution. It was also the state where the Declaration of Independence was signed, where the Constitutional Convention was held, and where the Constitution was effectually created. These national documents wove democracy (actually a Constitutional Republic) into being, the blueprint which many other countries followed. That is why Pennsylvania is called The Keystone State. Its capital city is Harrisburg. New Jersey(1787) – The Garden State. The third colony to ratify the Constitution, there must have been gardens at one time in this seaside state. Its capital city is Trenton, where incidentally, a major battle of the American Revolution was fought. Georgia(1788) – The Peach State. Many are surprised to know Georgia is our fo...

Overthinking again. What else is new? What exactly happens at and after death? I don’t know how any of that works. The only I’ll ever figure it out will be to actually die. Not a good thought, I know. But such is life I suppose. If death has a purpose, what would that be? I would like to know. It’s got to be something rather significant right? That remains to be seen. Death is a process, that much is certain. It happens to everyone who ever lived on Earth and will happen to anyone else coming here to Earth to be born and live. We all eventually die off. It is the way of things. I can’t make this up if I wanted to.

Today was an okay day for the most part. I can’t complain about it. It was a little strange feeling at times. I can’t really describe it. I’m not sure I want to understand. Not many kittens running around today. It was pretty overcast, maybe they went into hiding. Who knows! Maybe there are things in life which are meant to be confusing. Yeah well that doesn’t mean it will make sense. There’s a lot of things that don’t add up most days. Whatever happens in life will happen for a reason. There’s nothing I can do to change or fix it. It will take place as it always is meant to be. That is the secret behind it all. Such a confusing concept that of destiny. We all have a destiny. We want to believe we are in control of our own destiny. I don’t believe this to be the case. They say God has a plan for us. What if He knows the beginning to the end. How we will react to different situations. It doesn’t leave much room for agency now does it? Nothing feels like it’s up to chance anymore. Th...

You’re so mean (You’re so mean) when you talk (When you talk) About yourself, you were wrong Change the voices (Change the voice) in your head (In your head) Make them like you instead - Pink Oh how real that quote is! Sometimes our voices in our head can be so loud and so negative! I hate it really if I’m being honest. The hated thoughts that come are not good for me. Yet I don’t know how to stop them? I mean it has to be possible, doesn’t it? I wish I knew how to do this. But alas I do not. If there were a way to overcome this, I’d be down for it. There needs to be a way to overcome all of this negative thinking in my mind. I wish I could do that. It feels like it’s easier said than done at times. I don’t understand it, I don’t get it. Life feels like a mess, it really does. But what am I to do about it? Who knows. I don’t have a freakin’ clue.

It All Ends Jul 12, 2019 Life will eventually come to an end. It always does. There’s no escaping that fact. Everyone will eventually die and that’s just how this life will end for people.

Feeling miserable isn’t the best feeling in the world. It comes and goes though. Upset stomachs can go away asap! But what are you supposed to do about it? The answer remains unclear to such a question. And if I don’t know the answer about my own body, no one else will either. Maybe life really is a simulation. If that’s the case then there really isn’t much depth to this life to begin with. The real life is out there somewhere. How that works? I do not know. I only know what my gut tells me. I’m asleep somewhere waiting to be woken up for the first time. Now the problem with this thought is people don’t want to see the truth about life. They will ignore reality to the best of their ability. It’s the nature of the beast and the way of life, however abnormal that can be. Yet here we are in a simulation, everybody looking for the best to come along. There’s no telling what will become of this life. No way of knowing at all. Psychosis is a very real thing. What if I’m actually sane an...

Introduction What exactly is this? Let’s be honest, I don’t know what this document will turn out to be. It could crash and burn right in my hands as I’m typing it. I don’t have a clue. It’s just some thoughts placed here and there hopefully coming together in some kind of organized manner. Heh, organized. I doubt I’ve ever used that word to describe anything I’ve ever written. I’m not going to answer the actual question of the title of this document. I don’t see the need to do anything of the kind. It’s a simple document where thoughts reside and emotions abound. Yeah, it’s a thing. That’s what this life does to you, it takes an unorganized person’s thoughts and simply makes them think things through until you reach the point where you no longer are confused. Well, I think that’s the main purpose of this life for most people. There are us outliers who really don’t have a clue how any of this is meant to proceed; and that’s okay! There’s an old saying “that’s just life for you”, o...