DreamSense

Why must life be this way? I don’t understand it. If we lived in a utopia, things might be better; but I’m not sure about that. I wish there was some kind of something to overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I doubt I will ever fully figure it out. If I had the ability, I would do it in a second. But I don’t seem to have that ability at the moment. Maybe one day I will be able to figure it all out.

Oh life. What am I going to do with you today? I wish I could understand what’s going on. But I don’t believe in myself much anymore. It’s a crime or a shame or something. I don’t know which. If I did know I suppose I’d have an answer by now wouldn’t I? Yeah that’s what I was thinking. Talk about a rough patch to be going through. But what else am I supposed to do about it all? I haven’t a clue. If you could tell me how the future will unfold I suppose I’ll find a way to male it all coke to pass. Wow, talk about a stress exercise! Yeah something like that. But it isn’t about the thoughts that go inside my head, at least not for now. It’s the things I don’t think about most of the time. Now that becomes scary. I need to go to therapy but I am afraid of doing so. What if they laugh at me?

One would think this life would be easier than it currently is. I mean come on wouldn’t ou think that? Of course you would. So why can’t we each believe in it I for one would want to believe in it. It would give me something to do with my day at least. But well there’s something else on my mind. We have to be able to understand what it is exactly, if we don’t? Then that’s something quite different now isn’t it? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Today feels like a sleepy day, I don't know why that is. It just feels that way. I wish I could figure out why life happens the way it does. But I don't understand how anything goes about in this life. If I could understand one thought in life...I think I'd like it to be able to grasp why we are here on this Earth. Is it because the aliens want us to become something better than we are? I mean they're the ones in charge right? I think they are.

I’m trying here, is that all which matters in this life? Trying your best? I don’t know or have a clue as to how that works. It’s just a life that we have to be able to get through. I think that’s how it works, maybe possibly. I really do not have a clue. I wish I did have an idea of how life worked, maybe then I’d be able to figure out what to do about all of this other nonsense.

Sometimes you want a slug to make a filename. A slug is a group of words where the punctuation is removed and spaces are replaced with hyphens. Here is a simple way to implement this in Java. (It’s met my needs so far.) /** * Returns a phrase into a slug ie: This Is Good (this-is-good.md) * @param input The text to transform into a slug * @return The slug of the text passed in */ public static String toSlug(String input) { return input .toLowerCase() .replaceAll("[^a-z0-9\\s]", "") // remove punctuation .trim() .replaceAll("\\s+", "-") // spaces → hyphens + ".md"; } It can use some work. I have noticed if you have a hyphen in the word you pass in, it will put – which you might not want. So yeah some tweaks can be added to it for sure.

Today is not going well, My phone isn’t working. I hate it. I need to get a new phone, but we have no funds for a new phone. Who knows what’s going on anymore. I hate it. I wish there was something we could do about it, but there isn’t. I mean yeah I need to get a new phone. But the money thing is making it difficult. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make my old phone work fine and dandy again, but I doubt life works that way. No, I know life doesn’t work that way.

If I had the ability, I think I would do something about it. By it I mean life. I need to be able to figure things out in this life, I'm not sure what that means exactly, but if life had the ability to be understood, then I'm sure it would have to do with something that is extra special. Special enough to be there for everything else out there in the world. I just wish I could see how special it all is. But I can't. So I will try and attempt to figure out whatever happens. Or what has happened, perhaps what will happen? I'm not sure. It's life, and that's all I know about it. Talk about a wild ride though. We just never understand what's going on most of the time, and that's what's scary. But we have to keep moving forward.

Let’s discuss whatever needs to be talked about today. Shall we? yeah I think we need to or something. I don’t know, or have a clue. It would be nice if I could understand whatever there was to understand. But I don’t get it all, I hardly even recognize that something needs to be understood to begin with. It can be quite annoying if you ask me. But what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t have a clue.

I'm writing a book about Mental Health at the moment. About 19 hand written pages on 8 1/2" by 11" paper, it's one of those spiral notebooks, you know the kind you used in school? Yeah those. I thought about using a composition book, those are almost dead on accurate for page to page with the publishing company I go with. But eh, I can write long hand in a spiral notebook as it is. It works. So that's what I'm doing at the moment. I wonder if I'll ever finish it though. Or maybe I'll run out of ideas to write about? I fear that the most. But what can you do about it? I don't know. There doesn't appear to be much of anything to do when it comes down to it. But if there was, I would know how to do it right quick. Yeah, I know I might just be jumping the gun as far as this is concerned and worrying about nothing, but hey it's what I do best!

Ever wonder what gives about this life? Yeah I wonder that all the time. It becomes annoying at times if I'm being honest. But what are you going to do about it? I don't know. Life will continue on as it always does, and it won't give up until it's done with you. At least that's how I feel about the subject.

Updated the version number of commands. At this point I hope it works. It’s a simple diary/note taking application. There’s nothing really special about it really. Just something I came up with that would help my thought process. Whatever the case, it tends to help. For example this morning, I’m tried. I slept for most of the night. Got up at midnight for a little bit, but then went back to bed at one and slept until six a.m. So I should be wide awake at the moment, my brain needs to wake up. that’s all there is to it. But who knows, there’s just so much going on that I don’t have a clue what to believe or what to think at the moment. Is that a bad thing? I’m not sure. whatever the case, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m always just fine .

Dear Dad, Yeah it’s me again. I’m sure you’re getting tired of me talking to you like you’re in the same room as me, but I can’t get over the fact that you’re gone. Like gone gone. I miss you terribly. I don’t know what to do about it. I wish I could talk to you. Sometimes I do talk to you out loud or in my head sometimes. I hope you don’t mind, and I hope I’m not bothering you. I just need to talk to my dad! Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. I don’t know. Love, Kyle

Why does this life feel this way? There’s got to be some reasoning behind it. I wish I had a reason for any of it, most of it, whatever there is I’m supposed to think or do or say. One of those things needs to become aparent.

I dreamed about my dad again last night. He took me suit and car shopping said I needed them both. Haven’t a clue why he said I needed them, but I went along with it. It was nice to be spoiled. He left mid dream though, as I realized he was in fact dead. So there wasn’t much going on after that in the dream. I wish I could figure out what’s going on with those kinds of dreams. I guess it’s whatever , but I really want to know what that whatever is meant to be. Is it a warning? A sign? I don’t know. It’s something, that’s for sure. I hope it’s nothing bad, because I don’t think I could handle or deal with that right now. I don’t want to deal with such a thought process. That would suck, and I’m already thinking about it. GAH!

Life has to be something better than what we can see around us. It must be a kind of utopia that’s just beyond that hill, or just a little bit after the horizon. Whatever the case, it has to be there. I don’t see any other way on how this would work. I think it’s up to us to make life better than it is. Does that make sense? I sure hope it does to someone who’s reading this. If it does then I’ve done something right. If it doesn’t? Well that’s another story for another time.

If I had a way to figure out what this life means, I’m not sure I would be able to figure much out or understand it. That’s what this life feels like at times. I can’t make this up at all. I wish I could, but well it doesn’t happen that way. Just a life out in the middle of it all. That’s life in a nutshell, don’t you get it? I highly doubt it at all. So much doubt in this life to be covered by many things. Yeah, something like that. It’s a complicated mess at times I do believe. But what can we do about it? I don’t know.

Welp today was a miserable day altogether. I don’t know what to say about it, it was just one of the worst days I’ve had mentally. I have to stay strong for my wife. She’s going through some stuff right now and I can’t be having issues when she needs me to be strong for her. So I guess I’ll just bury it all until I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to say about it all. I feel all sorts of lost at the moment. So that’s what’s going on.

Something about today worries me. I don’t know what that is yet. I’m sure it’s nothing. Let’s chalk it up to nothing, yes that would be a good idea. Nothing sounds better than worrying about something right? Yeah that’s what I’m thinking it has to do with. Nothing at all. Something gives you the heebeegeebies. Is that even a full word? Or is that two seperate words? I don’t have a clue.

It would be helpful to be able to figure out what this life is about. I mean we know there’s a purpose to it all right? This existence can’t be all for nothing at least I don’t think it can be. There’s got to be something greater out there. I wish we had access to all that was out there. Everything that has a purpose must find a way to exist. Is that even possible? I’m not certain. Something has to give in order for anything in this life to make sense. I don’t see how any of this could ever make sense though. I mean here we are and we haven’t gone anywhere but the Moon and that has no intelligent life on it at all. What about other planets out there in the galaxy? The universe? There’s gotta be something more out there.

They say life can come at you fast. I don’t doubt it at in the least. It is what keeps this life interesting and unique. We have to keep life from becoming stale. There is no other choice but to try and make it all work out. So that’s how everything tends to work at times. Unfortunately I do not make the rules. I doubt anyone really makes the rules. Yeah, I don’t get it either. If the rules aren’t set in stone which can and will change at any given moment, how are we meant to trust anything ever again.

There needs to be more sleep hours in the day. I could have used a bit more sleep this morning let’s face it. But that’s not going to happen now. Oh great I have hiccups now. I don’t know where that came from. Let’s see if I can hold my breath. If that helps then the hiccups will be gone and everything will be fine and dandy. Nope that’s not happening either. Dang it. Maybe I’ll get there maybe.

Life isn’t what everyone says it’s like. I’d like to think it’s something unique, but well it’s not. It’s something that comes along to everyone. We don’t have a say in the matter. We live, we live and we die. There’s nothing much else to it. I mean, if there were? Wouldn’t you think we could explain why everything works the way it does? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. But we don’t get to have that choice in life. It’s a damning thing to make us worry over everything and nothing at all. But that’s life in a nutshell isn’t it? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.

Sometimes you just have to see what’s out there and take a look around you. There could be people waiting for your help and you don’t even know it. When you feel a presence in your life to do something for someone else, take that and run with it. You never know who you’ll affect.

What on earth is going on here? I don’t have any idea of what to think or say. Life is getting in the way to be honest, but I wish it wasn’t. I wish it was being kinder to me. It needs to be kinder to me. Somehow I’m failing at life. I just don’t know what to do about any of it.

Had some nightmares last night, again. I don’t know what’s causing them…something for sure but I don’t enjoy or like them. They need to stop and I must find a way to make them stop. Last night it was something about a virus going around. It was spread by some kind of liquid compound. It was airborne and would also affect you on touch. Talk about a crazy dream right? To my knowledge there was no cure. At some point in the dream a cure did come along though? But people started messing with the pipes that caused the damn virus to come back. So we were all screwed.

Life wasn’t meant to be easy. [L]ife was simply meant to be. I don’t know exactly how this life was meant to be, but I do know life wasn’t meant to be crazy. What if life was meant to be something different? I mean here we are just waiting for something to come along right? What if it doesn’t come? What then?

Had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dad died al over again. In my dream he managed to survive the choking incident in 2024 on Christmas Eve. The doc wanted to run some pressure tests by putting him in a huge tub of water, he would be fully submerged and wearing a mask so he could breathe. Well apparently it didn’t go so well. I received word in the mail from my uncle sending his condolences. I was in shock. How could he die? Again? My mom was furious that the doc waited a week to perform some kind of surgery on him. As I was talking to my mom I was choked up, I could barely breathe or talk. She then said I had leukemia in my brain and in my…appendix[?] Can’t remember where. I just broke down crying. Woke up in a panic and was very happy to see all was right in the world, that it was just a dream. But still, man. Talk about a trip!

Let’s face it, life isn’t fair. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t suppose it’s meant to make any sense really. But who am I to say that? I’m a nobody. Sure it doesn’t feel like that at times, but trust me I’m a nobody. It would be nice not to feel like a failure. I don’t know how to feel that way though? I just feel that way and it’s all I’ve ever known. Talk about an anoying thought process…but it is what it is. Whatever would be nice doesn’t always make sense to me. It’s that strange of a thought. It would be nice to have self esteem, some self confidence even. But where am I going to find that? I don’t know. It’s just one of those things, I think. Doesn’t quite make sense when you’re not looking for an answer. Only when you’re constantly thinking about it are you under some kind of…trance. That’s the best way I can describe it. I don’t know how else to do that. It’s whatever. I don’t know what it is.

Why This Life? Kyle Eggleston Some wonder why this life. It’s a simple question without any kind of simple response. It would be nice to have an answer to it all. But we don’t. Not all answers come easily to us. There are some that avoid us at all costs. Life is one of those questions that seems to avoid people. Where are we going after we die and all of that. It would be nice to be able to figure it all out eventually. If that is at all possible.

Life Is Weird Kyle Eggleston Life is weird. I don’t know how else to explain it. Life is simply weird. To some people it seems normal to others it’s weird. I wish I could comprehend exactly what’s going on with life to make it not weird and everything else. But I can’t. So I will simply keep these thoughts to myself. Life is weird.

Sometimes we want to store the date/time as an integer. It makes sense sometimes. If you want to run updates on everything higher than a certain number, you can do it quite easily with an integer. If you want to run everything all over again, compare it to zero. All records will be processed again. Easy peasy. Here’s how one of my tables looks to achieve this integer method for a date/time: CREATE TABLE notes( id INTEGER primary key, title TEXT, note_txt TEXT, created_dt INTEGER not null default (strftime('%s', 'now', 'localtime')), exported_flag INTEGER not null default 0 ); See how that works? Yeah, it’s pretty neat if I do say so myself. Of course you have to convert it to make it human readable. To do that, I usually do something like this: SELECT id, title, note_txt, created_dt, strftime('%Y-%m-%d %H:%M', created_dt) as formatted_dt FROM notes ORDER BY id DESC LIMIT 1 But, I can see what you’re thinking. Why do it...

Son of a Bitch! Okay maybe not that bad. But still, I don’t feel good today. Maybe that was an attention grabber. Did it grab your attention? Well did it? It’s not like I screamed out MotherFucker! Not that would be a dang attention grabber. But I digress. What’s the point of it anyway? Yep, that’s what I was thinking. Life is good at the moment. I have a loving wife who I love and adore. It’s a good life to be sure. Sleep would also be good, but when you don’t sleep…what can you do about it? Not much I’m afraid.

Ever think that this life will never improve? Ever wonder if this life will become something more than it currently is? Yeah I tend to wonder that at times. I feel like the end is always just around the corner. There doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with that thought, but it makes me shiver at the prospect that life will never be the same. I wish I could make sense of that, but I’m not sure I can. Life will always be there tormenting us to the brink of death, and then we will “get better” as it were, only to go through it all over again. Yes, I know that doesn’t make sense. But when did anything make sense in this life? I don’t know. That’s life for you in a nutshell though. It will always find a way to destroy us no matter what the cost. If I could figure out how to stop that from happening? I would. But unfortunately I do not have a way of doing that. So I must continue on my path to self destruction. However that may turn about, I will have to accept it and forget about it. It w...

Life feels so hard at times. I don’t even know where to begin most days. I do know life won’t always be this difficult. I mean it has to be something, doesn’t it? Life can’t be like this forever, at least I don’t think it can be. Life can be a mystery at times, that’s for sure. So we live and continue living until the day comes where we can’t anymore. Talk about a nightmare from Hell. But that is life.

Frank Looking around, I don’t recognize where I am. The last thing I remember is going to bed in my home. Now I’m laying in an open field in my pjs. Sitting up, I see the field is filled with snow. It is indeed cold out and I’m freezing. I stand up and look to the sky. “Why won’t you leave me alone?!” I shout to the sky. I’m mad at whoever is doing this to me. Be it God or one of his angels, I do not know. There has to be a reason for it all. I don’t know what that reason is. What I do know is I’m cold and wet from the snow, best find someplace to dry off. I pick a direction and walk for a while. Eventually I come across a cabin. It’s a standard log cabin with four sides and a roof. Nothing out of the ordinary. I rap on the door with my fist. There’s no answer. Trying the doorknob I find it unlocked, so I enter. There’s a fireplace and a small bed in the corner. I start a fire. It heats the place quite nicely. Taking off my socks, I let them dry out next to the fire. Grabbing a b...

Why Kyle Eggleston Why must life be this way? I wonder to myself. Why must it be so difficult and not understanding to myself? Why must I wage this war against myself in order to find and figure out what’s going on in this life? So many why’s and never enough answers.

I don’t understand it. Life feels complicated at times. I wish it didn’t, but I’m not here to try and guess what is going on and what’s not going on. Life will be what it will be…but come on! There’s got to be a way to overcome all of these thoughts and emotions that I feel on a daily basis. That’s why I feel it’s complicated. Whatever will happen will happen and I don’t have a choice in the matter. It takes a bit to understand that, but, well who am I to make that judgement? Yeah I don’t understand it either. Talk about a strange odd life we live in.

Life Kyle Eggleston Such an odd thing this life. No one really knows or understands it best. But you have to grasp something in order to preserve it. So you grab onto some kind of meaning for life. You take that in and you culture it until you are able to present it as your own creation because you’ve created something based on your thoughts and feelings; so it is yours.

Life Is Weird Kyle Eggleston Life is just kind of weird. Let’s face it. If we didn’t know or understand ourselves, we would find that we weren’t all that weird just life is the weird part. However if life wasn’t weird it wouldn’t be that kind of life now would it? No, I didn’t think so. But that’s life for you. You never know where it will take you. It might take you left, it could take you right. You just never know where you’ll go.

If I only knew what this life would bring me, I think I could get by without that much of a problem. I mean sure life will come and go and we won’t know the difference because of it. It will be here one second and gone the next, that’s how life tends to work. We don’t always know what’s going to happen. I wish I could understand something about this life though, anything really. That would be quite nice. But alas I fear that I will be unable to understand anything right away. Life will be what it will be and I will have to simply understand that and be apart of it. It won’t always come to me easily I’m afraid. That’s life in a nutshell.

Life wasn't meant to be this way, I fear. I'm not sure exactly what that's supposed to mean? But I know it's not an easy thing to understand at times. That's what this life is all about. I mean we're here for reasons beyond our own knowledge. We don't have a clue why we're here, we just are. So what does that mean? I'm not sure. If I had an inkling of what it all meant? I would easily do something about it. But I don't, so I can't. Life will find a way to allow itself to be made known. That's all I know.

Life Is Weird, OK! Let's face it, life is weird. There's nothing we are able to do about it. It's weird and we have to accept that fact. There's nothing wrong with that thought process though. If life had to be more weirder or strange, then we wouldn't be here! We'd be off doing who knows what with whatever we might want to be doing it with or about. So that's life. I didn't say it was going to be okay mind you, just that it's weird. Nothing in life is meant to be this way I fear. If I could change the past, or the present, perhaps the future I would. But I fear it's all set in stone. There's nothing that can be done about it. So we have to allow it to take place and simply be whatever it will be. Don't allow these thoughts to fool you, you'll regret it.

Life Isn’t Fair Kyle Eggleston This life doesn’t always seem fair or feel fair. Life in general can be annoying at best. But what do you expect when that happens? I’ve been feeling sleepy as of late, I don’t know why that is. It just happens. I wish I didn’t feel so sleepy but I do and I must accept that. But back to life. Why does this life feel so difficult at times? I don’t understand why it does. There are so many thoughts and ideas out there that could be explained to us all, but they aren’t. That’s what bothers me most about this life. Being able to understand or comprehend everything that’s going on...you have to figure it all out on your own.

Nothing Makes Sense Kyle Eggleston Nothing makes sense in a world of things that really should make sense. Yet we live in such a world where we don’t have a full understanding of everything around us. Conspiracies raise up left and right long before we understand anything about them.

This life is here for a reason, we don’t have to say exactly what that reason is, we just have to believe in it no matter what happens in this life, we have to understand one thing. That thing is that we are not alone in the universe. I’m not saying there are aliens out there, but yeah there are aliens out there. It’s a concept that people have wondered about from time to time, there doesn’t appear to be anything else you can do but wonder what’s going on in the skies above us! There are so many things in this life that don’t always seem to matter, but you wish they would, at least that’s what I’d like to think would happen. I’m not sure that’s how this life is meant to be understood of course. If there’s anything in this life that doesn’t make sense, then it will always be there. It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s the absurdity of it all! Why should it make sense if there’s nothing to grasp from it all? I’m not sure I know the ansewr to that question. Such a life comes and goes an...

Welcome. There are many things in this life that I would like to try and figure out. It’s not always an easy journey though. Sometimes we come and go as we please, yet we really do not have the answers we are searching for. Lots of people have dreams. Ambition. Aspirations they wish to accomplish before they kick the bucket or leave this world as it were. I suppose that’s why they call it a bucket list. You kick the bucket and bam you’re gone. The dream belongs in the past. There is no current dream to belong to. Had I a dream, I would share it with everyone out there in the world if but a dream existed and there was a world to share. The dream begins as it always does. I’m swimming in a pool. A man enters and points a gun at me. Before I can reach for my own weapon, he fires two rounds into my chest killing me. I wake up in a startled mess. My sheets are soaked from sweat. I live another day only to have the dream again another night. After waking up, I have no recollection of ...

Why This Life? Kyle Eggleston Life comes at us without any kind of warning. We don’t know what’s going to happen most of the time. Yet here we are waiting for something good to come about. Something, anything, life has to allow it to become individualized somehow. But we don’t know exactly how any of that works. Does it have to work exactly? I don’t know.

Another week has come to an end. It’s felt like quite a week. I’m just glad to have a weekend to hopefully relax a bit. Who knows what the weekend will bring. Oh life, it’s better to see what you are about some days than others. The new meds make me sleepy. Not a good mix. Can’t seem to stop hiccuping. Darn medicine doing that to me. Some .1% to 1% my butt! I fell into that category.

Yesterday it was the plague, the death to millions. Today it’s the coronavirus. During all of this, just remember one simple thing. Be kind to others. It’s a simple thing to remember isn’t it? Be kind to your fellow men. Jesus taught this to people during his day. Love one another. Is it really that difficult to help people in time of need? I dare say it isn’t. Go forward with faith, your faith shall make you whole.

What Happened Kyle Eggleston Doesn’t make sense most days. What exactly happened? I don’t get it. I don’t understand any of it. Am I supposed to understand all of it? A piece of it? Portions? I’m feeling emotions and I don’t understand why I’m feeling these different emotions. I’d rather not speculate at all, but well what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t get it. I wish I understood everything that was happening lately. I don’t.

Seriously, have you never noticed how life has a funny way about it? I mean it’s here one moment then we die and it’s gone. That can’t be a simple coincidence, can it? I doubt it. There’s got to be something else at play when life is doing its thing. Whatever that may be, life has a tendency to do whatever it wants to and we’re left with what’s left over. Talk about a nightmare. But we do have the opportunity to try to understand what’s going on most days. If we don’t attempt an understanding, then what’s the use of it all? I don’t know if I’m asking the right question here. Life tends to go up and down like a roller coaster. There isn’t a definite stopping point. That’s simply what life is. It’s a continuous journey that we have to navigate and figure out.

Life wasn’t meant to be this way. We wake up every morning and try to get through it just to go to bed and wake up again the next day. Is that what we’re thinking? Is that what we want? I’m not sure, actually I’m sure it’s not what we want at all. Yet it’s what we do. We are here to figure things out and try to attempt new things meeting new people. That’s what life is about I think? I guess? Either way, here we are. Now, if we wanted to do something a little different, we could. Life could be much different than it currently is. But, we have to accept that it could be different. Either way? It won’t be useful to any of us until we decide that is what we want. But what do we want for real now? I mean, we could guess all day long what we want, but we cannot fully express ourselves for some reason. Does it matter? I’m not sure. I’d rather not think about everything which could go wrong with this plan, but well you have to take into account all the different angles, don’t you? Some woul...

No Reason Kyle Eggleston I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no reason to be alive. There’s no actual purpose to it. Why should there be a purpose to all this suffering and death. It doesn’t make any sense. There’s no reason for it at all. Step out of the box once in a while and see for yourself there’s nothing to be seen. If there’s nothing to be seen, then there’s nothing to be understood and we are good.

 

So I was logged out of my Apple account on my phone. I neglected to update my phone number in their system, so when I went to sign in again it wanted me to verify against a phone number I didn’t have access to. So I went through the hoops of requesting a recovery. (I’ve had to do this once before the last time I changed phone numbers, it took 30 days to complete!!) Well, the recovery thing told me to wait 24 hours for instructions in a text message. I waited. No text message. But they did e-mail me. They’ll send me a text message on the 24 th , so then I should be able to unlock my account and have access to all my media again. I’m starting to rethink owning physical media again. It’s just too darn easy to lose all your stuff when you depend on another company to keep it for you.

Keep it to yourself, that’s what matters at times. Sometimes we can’t allow that which is troubling us out into the open. So, what are you supposed to do about it all? So many things happen in this life, but what of those tings that don’t happen? Allow it to form in your mind. Let it flow through you. Whatever happens, simply let it happen. The thoughts can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. How about that! Life just happens to be that way at times. However this life is meant to be, it doesn’t have to go according to your wants or desires. It’s quite simple in fact. Life will be whatever it wants to be. End of story. But that’s not really the end now is it? I didn’t think so. Life comes with certain challenges. It is through those challenges that we become who we are meant to be. No lie, no bullshit. That’s a simple fact. This life will always be a burden of some kind or another. There is no escape from any of it. Everything at some point catches up with you. It’s that simple. I’m ...

What Is That Noise? Kyle Eggleston There’s a strange noise coming from outside my house. I dare say it’s the city working on something. It’s annoying. That’s what it is. Don’t even start to discuss why it’s annoying. Just a random noise, someone digging a hole or something. Fixing a pipe or something. It’s always “or something” isn’t it. Let’s not think about all the times “or something” came to mind. It happens to get lost in the shuffle and destroyed within ones mind. Someone will come along and fix it all you think. Well that someone never comes along and you just don’t quite know or understand what’s going on with any of it. So we sit here and we think about what’s going on. We want to understand and grasp everything, but we simply don’t know or have a clue of what to do about any of it. So we wait. What is it we wait for? Clarification of some kind. We hope and want to have an understanding of whatever that thing was. The noise that enters our mind keeps coming. We keep waitin...

Overthinking finds me in an impossible situation. But that’s life for the most part. Whatever happens in life will happen. We really don’t have a say in much of it. I suppose that’s life in a nutshell now isn’t it? It would be better if I understood all there was to comprehend from life. If only there was a way to accomplish all of that. The mind can be a badly diseased factory at times. Talk about a nightmare. Let’s talk about today for a moment. I’m depressed today. The problem isn’t being depressed. The problem is I don’t know how I got here. When I get depressed, I become suicidal. Now that isn’t something to be proud of. But I can’t seem to escape it. Have you d# Mon Jul 20 11:25:12 AM MDT 2026 Overthinking finds me in an impossible situation. But that’s life for the most part. Whatever happens in life will happen. We really don’t have a say in much of it. I suppose that’s life in a nutshell now isn’t it? It would be better if I understood all there was to comprehend from life. ...

Helplessness Kyle Eggleston Not everything in life makes sense. Somedays we are here waiting for life to come along and kick us in the rear. Other days we are waiting for something to happen. That something rarely ever happens though. We are caught in a landslide of whatever there is to be caught in and we don’t have any idea how to go about getting around it. If that makes sense. After everything is said and done, we are left with the ability to recover. Legs decide to stop working, arms don’t want to function either. Our brain decides to stop thinking. We’re left with the most basic abilities around and we cannot grasp why that is. Almost like we are stuck in a never ending cycle of helplessness. It would be nice to be able to grasp hold of whatever is controlling us and shake it loose. That doesn’t always happen though. Most of the time we are stuck and simply don’t have the ability to get loose at all. So, why does that happen to us? Why do we feel like we can’t go on? Does it ...

Okay, I get it Zod is the bad guy. But is he an idiot? You take blue Kryptonite to make sure you don’t get sucked up to another world only to put it into your foe…and you get sucked up into that other world anyways? Wow! I kind of saw that coming, I won’t lie. Season 9 felt like a real slow burn for me. I like that about the older TV shows when we got more than twenty episodes a season! Talk about a wild ride. Season Nine did not disappoint. Now, onto Season Ten! The final and last season of Smallville.

Death Please? Kyle Eggleston Death. It’s an interesting word. It’s an interesting goal. I mean no one gets out of this life alive. So the endgame goal of this life is to die. Right? Some want it sooner than later, some want it right now. Or yesterday. Either way, they wish to die. There’s nothing wrong with wishing to die just as long as you don’t act on it...or so I’m told. I don’t know. Death would be nice right now. It would be a welcomed relief to this life, this agony and pain I feel at times. It just would be nice to be done with it all. Instead, here I sit writing this. I don’t get to die. I don’t get to just leave this earth and see what else is out there. I have to suffer with this pain in my legs and hope for one day that the pain will be gone and I will be able to live as a spirit or something and not feel a thing. Yes, that would be nice. That’s the endgame goal I seek. Let it come.

Being in psychosis means experiencing a severe disruption in how your brain processes reality. It is a state of “losing touch” with the world around you, characterized primarily by hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that aren’t there) and delusions (holding false, unshakeable beliefs despite contrary evidence). It is not an illness itself, but rather a set of symptoms often tied to conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or severe depression, or triggered by extreme stress, trauma, or substance use. Key experiences and signs include: Hallucinations: Experiencing sensations that other people cannot share, such as hearing voices or seeing shadows. Delusions: Believing things that are untrue, like the feeling that you are being plotted against. Disorganized Thinking: Using incoherent language, jumping rapidly between unrelated topics, or having trouble concentrating. Changes in Behavior: Withdrawing from friends and family, neglecting self-care, or having ...