Thinking About Life

Everything becomes a realism at some point or another. No one decides what you wish to believe or want to understand. That is up to you. To want to believe in something takes courage. To want to understand what that belief is? Even more courage. What it all takes is courage to see the truth in something no matter what.

There are times when we do not want to see the truth. We want to hide from it all. Kept safe in the world we created for ourselves. That peace of mind upon which we have the ability to stand.

So, what’s the point of it all if we know the truth and yet we cannot accept the truth for what it is? Makes you wonder what this life is all about sometimes. What point is any of it? Are there times when we wish the truth wouldn’t be known? Sure. But when millions believe in something, trust something, hold onto something they’ve been taught their whole life…where does that leave the truth? How does that lead them into a righteous cause? Doesn’t make sense does it.

What do you do with the knowledge that you retain. How much of that knowledge is good for you vs how much is bad. So many questions that occur and come up because you do not know left from right. Up from down. Life is but a limbo position constantly telling you where to go brining you down to some misery.

Either way, this life continues to drag people away from their current location and down into the depths of a sea. Never knowing where they will surface, if they will surface. At which point do you realize all that is going on and toss it aside as though it were nothing? Life is just that crazy.

Nah, thinking through things from time to time doesn’t fully make it all better. There are times which make these thoughts even worse. Something much different than how they are or will become. We all must find a way to become better than what we are at this present moment. Words on a page cannot do justice.

Moving Makes Things Go Whoooowweeeee

 Moving things. There are things in our lives that define us. When you have to move those things out to make room for a smaller place, well that just makes you wonder. Why did I decide to accumulate all of these things in the first place? What purpose did they serve? Did they serve any purpose at all?

It was a bunch of books. A lot of books that took up two shelves two books deep per shelf. Some had three.

So what did these books have to do with my life? I didn't read them all. No way in hell did I ever get around to reading them all. So that's where I'm at.

I sold them all today. Well most of them. Like 99% of them. I have roughly ten books left. Why did I keep those ten books? Do they serve a purpose for me? I'm not sure. But they stick around for a reason I'm sure.

Need Sleep

 Not sure what to think about today. It's Wednesday, that's all I've got. I've been wanting to just sleep all day. Been up since about 4:30 this morning. It would be nice to be able to take a nap. But there's stuff to be done with selling the house, getting things ready for a garage sale etc.

So after all that is taken care of maybe I can get some actual decent sleep.

Windy Day

It's just a windy day outside. I'm not a fan. It's rather annoying if you ask me. Things rattling around. My bones rattling around. Yeah all the crazy going on.

My First Experience With Coffee

 The wife at the time was making coffee. She didn't tell me it was coffee. Just said that what she was making was flavoring added to water. I took a sip, and then drank the cup down. I then took hers and drank hers as well.

She later told me it was coffee.

Pepsi So Yummy

 Drinking a Pepsi because I can. Yep. I don't want to think about all the sugar that's in the darn thing. But well you know how it can be. I think? Maybe? Who knows anymore. There's so much thinking already done on the matter, I shouldn't have to worry about it right? Yeah something like that.

Selling a House

 Who knew that selling a house could be so annoying. You have to gather up all the things that need to go before you move out so you're not moving those things out with you. They become items to donate or sell in a garage sale.

There are times

 Oh there are times where you don't want to think something, you don't want to hear something. You just don't want it in your life at all. Yet it sticks around waiting for you to make some kind of move acknowledging it. Yeah that's not going to happen. Damn thoughts always creeping up on me when I least expect it. Whatever the price of these thoughts is, it's not worth it.

I would rather not have such thoughts and simply be happy for once. But that's not how any of this works now is it? No, I didn't think so. So we just have to try our best to get through whatever this is and see what more is out there. Is that possible? I'm not sure. I hope it is possible. It doesn't mean life will be any easier by any means. Life will still be there, and it will still be difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. To be able to make decisions easily. Oh how wonderful that would be.

For now, life is just an anchor pulling me down Ito the depths of the sea. I don't enjoy it. I don't like it one bit. But that's what it feels like doing to me. Whatever.

Composition Book

 I have a composition book that has a unicorn sitting in an ice cream cone on the cover. I write in it. I write all the thoughts that pop in my head in it. Some thoughts are happy thoughts. Other thoughts are sad thoughts. Either way they are all the thoughts in my head. Sometimes I start a story that never gets completed. Life is a lot like that, so many stories that begin that never get completed. There's no resolution to them. It's an interesting process. Writing that is. Sometimes you just wish everything would close nicely. It doesn't always happen.