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Anxiety and Depression

 Having anxiety and depression at the same time sucks. On one hand your mind is saying you have to do this, and on the other hand you are thinking, I don't want to do anything. But if you don't do anything you'll get in trouble. Yet you don't care. It's a crazy mix of thought processes.

I've dealt with these two for the past couple of years and it's been no fun. None of it makes sense to me at times. I wish it did make some kind of sense, but it really doesn't. So, I have to deal with whatever comes my way. There needs to be a thing that can be given to me to just clear it all up. So many wishes and no way to have them come true. I feel like screaming right now. There's nothing I am able to do about it. There's got to be something I can do about it though. I don't know what that is.

Life gets frustrating at times. I don't understand it. I don't reason with it. I just don't get it. There are things. If this is how life is from now on, I don't know how I'm meant to play this life out. There just seems to be so many complex ideas and thoughts out there that I don't have a clue about. Life needs to become something better, that much is for sure.

I'm depressed today. Let's just put that out there. I took some meds to help control my anxiety, but I am majorly depressed. I don't want to get out of bed yet here I am. I don't want to do much today, yet here I am trying to accomplish a lot that feels overwhelming. Finding a place is no easy deal. I need to find a place to live. There's got to be a way to do that. Something I can afford. Something I am able to control. Whatever that is. I don't have a clue. That scares me.

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