Having anxiety and depression at the same time sucks. On one hand your mind is saying you have to do this, and on the other hand you are thinking, I don't want to do anything. But if you don't do anything you'll get in trouble. Yet you don't care. It's a crazy mix of thought processes.
I've dealt with these two for the past couple of years and it's been no fun. None of it makes sense to me at times. I wish it did make some kind of sense, but it really doesn't. So, I have to deal with whatever comes my way. There needs to be a thing that can be given to me to just clear it all up. So many wishes and no way to have them come true. I feel like screaming right now. There's nothing I am able to do about it. There's got to be something I can do about it though. I don't know what that is.
Life gets frustrating at times. I don't understand it. I don't reason with it. I just don't get it. There are things. If this is how life is from now on, I don't know how I'm meant to play this life out. There just seems to be so many complex ideas and thoughts out there that I don't have a clue about. Life needs to become something better, that much is for sure.
I'm depressed today. Let's just put that out there. I took some meds to help control my anxiety, but I am majorly depressed. I don't want to get out of bed yet here I am. I don't want to do much today, yet here I am trying to accomplish a lot that feels overwhelming. Finding a place is no easy deal. I need to find a place to live. There's got to be a way to do that. Something I can afford. Something I am able to control. Whatever that is. I don't have a clue. That scares me.
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