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Been Awake Since 3

 So, I've been awake since 3 am this morning tossing and turning in my bed. It's not the ideal wake up time, that's for sure. Finally got out of bed at 4:30. Been up ever since. I might have to take a nap later on today. We shall see what happens. I'm worried about just everything imaginable at the moment. It's not good for me to be so overwhelmed at all. But here I am trying to do my best. I don't know how to do that though when I have crazy things just happening in life.

It would be nice to be able to forget about everything that has happened and have life go back to normal. But I know that's a pipe dream and will never happen. It is what it is now, and I have to accept and face that. There's nothing wrong with this new direction my life is taking. Nothing wrong at all. I just have to be able to keep up with it.

There are a lot of things to think about at 3 am. None of them good. But all of them necessary. I think. To a point that is. Life is so weird at times. I don't know what to do with it. It would be nice to be able to figure out what exactly is going on, but well you know how that can be.

This life feels difficult right now. I don't know how to express myself. There are things I want to say but I don't know how to say them. It's all so difficult right now. I wish I had the ability to express myself the way I want to express myself. But that's a topic for a different time, I think.

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