Skip to main content

Been Awake Since 3

 So, I've been awake since 3 am this morning tossing and turning in my bed. It's not the ideal wake up time, that's for sure. Finally got out of bed at 4:30. Been up ever since. I might have to take a nap later on today. We shall see what happens. I'm worried about just everything imaginable at the moment. It's not good for me to be so overwhelmed at all. But here I am trying to do my best. I don't know how to do that though when I have crazy things just happening in life.

It would be nice to be able to forget about everything that has happened and have life go back to normal. But I know that's a pipe dream and will never happen. It is what it is now, and I have to accept and face that. There's nothing wrong with this new direction my life is taking. Nothing wrong at all. I just have to be able to keep up with it.

There are a lot of things to think about at 3 am. None of them good. But all of them necessary. I think. To a point that is. Life is so weird at times. I don't know what to do with it. It would be nice to be able to figure out what exactly is going on, but well you know how that can be.

This life feels difficult right now. I don't know how to express myself. There are things I want to say but I don't know how to say them. It's all so difficult right now. I wish I had the ability to express myself the way I want to express myself. But that's a topic for a different time, I think.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

Thinking About Life

So sleepy today, I don't know why that is. Trying to watch the Super Bowl, but I just feel like I want to fall asleep. Talk about nuts and crazy, yet here I am. I don't have a clue who I want to win the game. I've chosen to root for the 49ers only because I've been told that I have to choose. Haha! Yeah it's that crazy if you ask me. Oh well, I'm sure whoever wins the game it will all work outin the end. I'm not feeling well. Let's face it, I could be having a mental break at the moment but I just don't know. I hope that's not the case, if it were then I have to figure things out and fix them. That's all there is to it. Nothing more than that. Storing these thoughts in a database is a good idea I think. I can query a database for certain key words and go from there. It's a good thing for sure. So yeah that's all there is to it. With the thought of a 4th voice in my head/mind, I am afriad to go to sleep. What if it follows me aroun...
Post a Comment
Read more