DreamSense

Let’s face it, life isn’t worth living most days. What can you do about it? I’m afraid you can’t do much. It will cause you to try and escape from reality and then where will you be? Crushed without a place to go. Yeah, that’s the kind of consequences I’m talking about most of the time. So, why bother with it all? I’m not sure why I do most days. Wouldn’t it be easier to off myself? I mean who hasn’t thought about killing themselves from time to time? I know I have. It would be nice not to have these thoughts and feelings about my life. But I do have them and they won’t go away. So I must deal with them. There’s nothing wrong with that, I guess? Maybe there is. I don’t know for sure. So just allow it to be whatever it wants to be. If life wants me dead, who am I to argue with it? There’s so many things in this life that don’t matter. So many things in this life that do matter. I need to find a balance in between the two things and make it work out for me.

I remember what life was before I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, and then Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features . Life felt easier at times. I’m not sure if I’m saying that correctly though. Not worrying about what I was or wasn’t hearing, or seeing or wasn’t seeing? It felt like bliss compared to what I feel now. Now my mind is full of confusion about life and other things in general. I hear things in my head and I believe them, I think they’re real. There’s no way around it unfortunately. Medication can help quiet the voices, but in reality they will always be there. I’m not sure I have the ability to change that. If I do have that ability? I would change it in a heartbeat. No one needs to have these voices in their heads, I for sure don’t! Then there are the intrusive thoughts that tend to come into my mind. Some are quite disturbing at times. I don’t know what to do with any of them. But they are there, and if I can’t change them what’s the point? So ma...

Another Day Jun 1, 2019 Just another day, there’s not much to say. It’s simply a day. Not easy when people aren’t around and things just aren’t the same. But you hope and wish everything was alright, that things would be fine. Maybe they will be, maybe they won’t be. Who’s to know what’s ever to happen? I do not know.

So I had the “ NEW” Wendy’s Spicy Chikcen Sandwhich . I guess they did an overhaul on this masterpiece. It has certainly changed. It tastes different for sure. They added pickles to the mix. I like pickles, but they didn’t really feel like they fit on the sandwhich. I read up on it, they’ve changed their recipe to a 9 blend of spices and some kind of new mayo. To say I’m not a fan of it? Yeah that would be putting it mildly. I might never order that sandwhich ever again. It used to be my goto sandwhich at Wendy’s . Not anymore. I just don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, they’re a good place to eat. Just when they start mucking around with their sandwhiches? No thanks.

I often wonder what this life would be like if it were a game. What would the rules be? Would there be any rules of any kind? I’m not sure. It would be nice to be able to understand the rules of the game if there are rules. Sometimes rules are meant to be broken though. How do we deal with those thought processes? If a rule is meant to be broken, then what’s the use or point of it all? Maybe bending the rules is a better use of ones time? I’m not sure. Games have rules though, don’t they? If you play baseball , football , basketball , &c. they all have rules to them to some degree. Don’t include church ball, those rules go out the window the moment you step on the court. If I understood those games I think I would probably understand the rules that go along with them. I mean, you don’t just throw a “flag on the play” unless something is seriously wrong with the play. That’s how the game is played. Or you don’t throw a “ red card ” out there unless someone has done some gross...

Tue May 19 07:51:38 AM MDT 2026 Life’s Purpose Today is another day on this … rock called Earth. I’m not sure what to think about it. If life has a purpose for us all, then I’m sure we would have nothing to worry about. But here’s the catch, life doesn’t have a purpose. Once we figure that small part out? We’re golden. But it’s figuring out that small part that we don’t always have the answers to. So that’s where we sit with life at the moment. Waiting for something better to come along and allowing that to help us move forward I suppose. I mean I don’t have a clue if that’s the case of it all, or if that’s how we’re supposed to go about it. Life will be whatever it wants to be and we will forever be in its debt. We are forever in someone’s debt. No matter how that comes about. If we are lucky, we might be able to get though this life unscathed. If we aren’t? Then there are problems in this life that we cannot overcome. Again it comes back to what is the purpose of it all? If we do...