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An Okay Day

Today was an okay day for the most part. I can’t complain about it. It was a little strange feeling at times. I can’t really describe it. I’m not sure I want to understand. Not many kittens running around today. It was pretty overcast, maybe they went into hiding. Who knows! Maybe there are things in life which are meant to be confusing. Yeah well that doesn’t mean it will make sense. There’s a lot of things that don’t add up most days. Whatever happens in life will happen for a reason. There’s nothing I can do to change or fix it. It will take place as it always is meant to be. That is the secret behind it all. Such a confusing concept that of destiny. We all have a destiny. We want to believe we are in control of our own destiny. I don’t believe this to be the case. They say God has a plan for us. What if He knows the beginning to the end. How we will react to different situations. It doesn’t leave much room for agency now does it? Nothing feels like it’s up to chance anymore. Th...
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Fuckin' Perfect

You’re so mean (You’re so mean) when you talk (When you talk) About yourself, you were wrong Change the voices (Change the voice) in your head (In your head) Make them like you instead - Pink Oh how real that quote is! Sometimes our voices in our head can be so loud and so negative! I hate it really if I’m being honest. The hated thoughts that come are not good for me. Yet I don’t know how to stop them? I mean it has to be possible, doesn’t it? I wish I knew how to do this. But alas I do not. If there were a way to overcome this, I’d be down for it. There needs to be a way to overcome all of this negative thinking in my mind. I wish I could do that. It feels like it’s easier said than done at times. I don’t understand it, I don’t get it. Life feels like a mess, it really does. But what am I to do about it? Who knows. I don’t have a freakin’ clue.
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Feeling Not Great

Feeling miserable isn’t the best feeling in the world. It comes and goes though. Upset stomachs can go away asap! But what are you supposed to do about it? The answer remains unclear to such a question. And if I don’t know the answer about my own body, no one else will either. Maybe life really is a simulation. If that’s the case then there really isn’t much depth to this life to begin with. The real life is out there somewhere. How that works? I do not know. I only know what my gut tells me. I’m asleep somewhere waiting to be woken up for the first time. Now the problem with this thought is people don’t want to see the truth about life. They will ignore reality to the best of their ability. It’s the nature of the beast and the way of life, however abnormal that can be. Yet here we are in a simulation, everybody looking for the best to come along. There’s no telling what will become of this life. No way of knowing at all. Psychosis is a very real thing. What if I’m actually sane an...
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What Is Life?

Introduction What exactly is this? Let’s be honest, I don’t know what this document will turn out to be. It could crash and burn right in my hands as I’m typing it. I don’t have a clue. It’s just some thoughts placed here and there hopefully coming together in some kind of organized manner. Heh, organized. I doubt I’ve ever used that word to describe anything I’ve ever written. I’m not going to answer the actual question of the title of this document. I don’t see the need to do anything of the kind. It’s a simple document where thoughts reside and emotions abound. Yeah, it’s a thing. That’s what this life does to you, it takes an unorganized person’s thoughts and simply makes them think things through until you reach the point where you no longer are confused. Well, I think that’s the main purpose of this life for most people. There are us outliers who really don’t have a clue how any of this is meant to proceed; and that’s okay! There’s an old saying “that’s just life for you”, o...
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