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Overthinking, Again...Sheesh!

Overthinking again, what a surprise. It’s life, that’s what’s going on today. Such an amusing thought process is all. If life has a purpose how would that look exactly? Is it so complicated a question? Life itself can feel quite complex at times. I don’t make the rules. They just appear when they want to. I can’t control them nor would I want to. It’s a pipe dream to think I’m in control over anything. I’ve long since learned I have no control over my life. There’s always someone else pulling the strings. That’s just how this life works. Life is but a game. A dangerous game at that, but what else is new? I want to die. But dying wouldn’t end my suffering. Why must life be so damn confusing most days? I’m not sure I fully understand it all. I mean come on now! Existing simply to exist doesn’t feel like it has much purpose in this life. I don’t have another way of expressing this thought. Where there is light, there is darkness. No matter how it’s spun, that’s the truth of it all. T...
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Life's Musings

Some days are a jumbled up mess on the great windshield that is life. Oh life, you silly silly thing! Where did you come from? If life has taught me anything it’s that this life can be quite complicated at times. Yeah, this life sure can be a mess at times. Talk about crazy. But if that’s what this life turns up to be, that’s how it is. Living int he fast lane, as it were, makes little sense most of the time. But that’s okay, it has to be okay. I mean I guess? It’s something that’s for sure! Anxiety can be one hell of a drug. Not a good one mind you. It tends to take a lot to get through a day without overthinking all the things. But that’s all part of this life I fear. What does that mean for me? I’m not sure. I feel like I’m fighting an internal losing battle and there isn’t a way back from the brink. Whatever that looks like, here I am living it.

Blast From The Past: February 1, 2020

What A Morning Sat Feb 1 06:35:06 MST 2020 Let’s talk about today shall we? This morning has been bruital. I’m reading over the signs of depression. I have them…. boy do I have them. I don’t know what to do about that. It would be nice not to have to deal with any of those thoughts anymore. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to live. There’s no reason for me to be alive. People don’t get it, they don’t want to understand it. So, what happens next? What’s the next step?

Blast From The Past: February 12, 2020

There Should Be Space Wed Feb 12 20:54:57 MST 2020 There should be space where nothing makes sense and that’s okay with everyone. There should be a place where absolutely nothing matters, and we don’t have a clue what’s going on, but again it doesn’t matter…so we survive. Things like that. Isn’t that okay? Isn’t that what this life should be about? Something like that.

Smallville - Doomsday - Jimmy - Zod

Okay, so I just finished Season 8. HOLY CRAP they killed Jimmy Olsen! I did not see that coming! I’m starting to think Doomsday/David was a prick. But hey, that’s just my own thought on the matter. He sure didn’t want anyone having Chloe but himself. Good thing Clark took care of Doomsday. It took me a moment to realize that the battle was over once they hit that geothermal station and things exploded. To be honest, I’m not impressed with the Doomsday storyline in Smallville. It didn’t capture the same erie feeling that the comics did. I don’t think anyone has accurately portrayed Doomsday the way he was meant to be seen. Some have come close, but even then they got things wrong. I would love to be able to watch a true Superman Doomsday throwdown. You know what I’m talking about, where Superman dies but before dying he learns that Doomsday’s bones are his weakness and takes him out. Just like in the comics. But alas, I think that would be too long of a movie to fully explain Doomsda...

Crazy and Unpredictable

Sometimes life can be crazy and unpredictable. Such is life if you stop to think about it. Talk about a wild ride. If I could give life a break, I would. But, you see, life won’t give me a break. That’s all there is to it. Life will give you answers on its own terms. It’s not some kind of fairytale. It’s just life. Such a funny thing this life. There really isn’t anything it doesn’t know. Life has been around a lot longer than you or me. The funny thing about life is, it doesn’t wait for us to make a choice. So we have to allow life to do what it’s meant to do and be. There’s no going back once this life gets in motion. Life really can be an interesting thing at times. But there really isn’t anything we can do about this life. We are not in control of our own destiny. If I had one wish for this life it would be to understand my purpose, my humanity. If destiny and fate are real, what are they to me? Such an interesting question don’t you think? I don’t know if I actually believe in...

Blast From The Past: Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Wed Jan 8 14:19:58 MST 2020 Today doesn’t feel like much of a day. I can’t explain it. It just feels like something is bothering me and I don’t know what. It would be nice to figure out exactly what is going on, but well when you can’t figure things out like this? What are you meant to do. Exactly. Nothing. There’s nothing you are able to do about any of it, you’re stuck with everything that comes your way. I doubt it has anything to do with anything I’ve done or not done. Just that I’m confused by why I feel this way. So there’s that I guess.