DreamSense

What exactly matters in life these days? Are there things that actually make some kind of sense? I don’t know. I wouldn’t really know about any of that stuff. I mean come on now, think about it. If life had its way we would all be eaten up by sharks or worse. But it doesn’t have its way at all. Life has the ability to sink down further into the depths of the ocean then you will ever begin to believe. That’s what life will do to you. Sink you till the end.

I tend to find that life is meaningless at times. I don’t know what that is mind you, I just do. It’s not a good thought process to have at times. But I have it so it must be true inside my own brain somehow, right? Yeah…that’s what I was thinking. If life weren’t meaningless, would I even be interested in such a topic? I’m not sure. But there are many topics in life that make us wonder at times. Are we going down the right path, are we doing the right things in life. Are we going to make it through our next trial that comes along? Be it a trial of faith, intelligence, strength…whatever. Are we going to be strong enough to get through it? I often have these questions in my life and I don’t know how to get around them. I wish I knew how to overcome these thoughts, but they keep coming and I don’t have a way of making them stop. So I will have to figure them out as they come to me.

They say life has a way of messing with you. You don't always have the ability to understand what's going on in life. It will screw with you long before you are able to grasp what is going on. But that's supposed to be okay with it all. I don't know how it's meant to be okay, but that's what it is doing and we are but waiting for something to come along and everything else will become whatever it needs to become. So don't allow it to be what it wants to be, let it be what it doesn't want to be. Make it angry, make it upset, don't allow it to become more than important.

Nothing to think about, nothing to display. This day and every day goes away. The way of the dinosuars they don’t stick around. Everything and everyone ends up on the ground. It is but a moment in this life it would seem, no one wants to be in that gleam. So toss away your thoughts, your considerations at best, make life peaceful that is my only request.

I feel like a screw up. Is that good enough to say? I don’t know. Well it’s not good to say that at all I suppose. But life doesn’t feel like it used to. I don’t have a clue why that is. It just feels like blah. Can that be a good answer for everything? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Have you ever wanted to escape this world and simply die or get away from it? Yeah, that's how I feel at times. I don't know what to do about it. I need to see a therapist or something. I'm on medication, but that doesn't feel like it's doing enough for me. So I have to figure out...something to do about it all. I don't know though. It scares me. I'm more than scared, if I had the ability to understand what was going on in life, then I could do that. But I can't and that simply seems that life is going to blow up at me in any second now. I wish I could overcome these thoughts and simply make sense of it. Whatever happens, I need reality to be real. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it does. I doubt anything ever makes sense to me anymore. But that's okay. It'll be okay in the end, whenever that will be. If it's not the end, it's not okay yet now is it? No, I didn't think so.