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Sleepless Night

Had a sleepless night last night. No matter what I did I couldn’t fall asleep. I’m not sure what’s up with that? Is it the smoke in the air from the fires? I mean yeah I’m experiencing shortness of breath and wheezing because of the smoke in the air. It feels like I have something in my throat that won’t go away. It would be nice if it did go away though, I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work. It seems like I never know how this life tends to work at times. I wish I did though, that would be a good thing! Yet here I am, and I’m suffering in silence do to it all. I kept tossing and turning last night. Every time I thought I was going to fall asleep, I actually didn’t fall asleep. My back hurts too. [Wife] thinks it’s stress related, that could be the case. Eh, who knows how any of this life works most of the time? I sure as hell don’t! I need to have a good nights rest at times. I know [Wife] doesn’t sleep worth a damn either and she suffers from it. I wish that wasn’t the case. I ...
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Blast From The Past: July 22, 2019

Why Does It Exist Jul 22, 2019 Why do things exist? Why exactly does that one thing exist? Doesn’t make sense. There should be enough reasons for something to exist, yet they don’t always exist for anything and everything. So here we are. Why does that exist? Does it make sense for it to be there? Does it make sense for it to actually be there? It doesn’t matter does it? I’m not sure.

More Psychosis

So…last night, when I was in bed. I kept hearing a voice. I can’t remember what it was saying, but I do remember it getting madder as I was yelling at it to stop. I just wanted the damn voice to stop, and I couldn’t make it stop! Oh man that was annoying, so very annoying that it wouldn’t stop and I couldn’t make it stop. Life feels so difficult at times with these voices doing whatever the hell they want to do in my head. I can’t seem to shake them. Maybe I need to be put on a different medication? I’m not sure. I just want to feel normal, whatever normal is. I’m not even sure I know what normal is now! Talk about a nightmare. A living nightmare that I cannot control in any way, shape, or form. I want it to end somehow. I don’t even know how to make that possible.

Article Of Faith 12

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. Ah, I don’t think I have any problems with this Article of Faith. Naturally humans are humans and not everyone follows these as a tenet. As a people, we strive to do what is right. If you’re obeying God’s commands you have no reason to break local laws. That kind of thing I think. The laws of the land are an important thing to follow. They keep us out of trouble if we’re doing the right things and not causing any chaos. So yeah that’s good. Obeying the laws are an important part of life. Kings and other rulers. Yeah, well if your country has a king (the United States doesn’t), then you have to be subject to them. Same as presidents and other rulers of the country you live in. It all comes down to obedience I think. Obey and you will be blessed.

Article Of Faith 10

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. Okay, so there are a few tings to unpack here. Let’s list them: Literal gathering of Israel Restoration of the Ten Tribes New Jerusalem will be built in Amercia Christ will come back and reign Earth to become a kingdom Did I get all of those right? I think I did, not sure though. I mean it’s an interesting list to say the least. I think the “New Jerusalem” part is meant to happen in Missouri. Don’t quote me on that, but they do have Adam-ondi-Ahman there, I think? Let’s google it: Adam-ondi-Ahman is a historically significant site in Daviess County, Missouri, located about 70 miles north of Kansas City. According to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it is where Adam and Eve lived ...

Dear Dad - Father's Day

Dear Dad, I miss you. Today is Father’s Day, and I miss you so much! I want to call you and let you know I love you, and I miss you. But I can’t! Talk about a wild trip! I don’t get it. I’m not sure I fully understand what’s going on in this life, but it just isn’t fair. Love, Kyle