I have social anxiety. It sucks. Like sucks bad. I wish there was a simple way to simply get rid of it, but there isn't. That's just how this life works I guess. There's got to be a way to handle it better than I currently am. But I don't know how to do that. It just comes with the territory I think. Would be nice to know exactly how to deal with it all. Social anxiety (or social phobia) is an intense, persistent fear of being watched, judged, or rejected by others in social or performance situations. It causes extreme discomfort, leading to avoidance of social interactions, physical symptoms like rapid heart rate or sweating, and significant interference with daily life, work, or school. Welp, there's one definition for it. I'm sure there are others but they all end up saying the same thing. What they don't tell you is what you're feeling as you experience your surroundings. Now that's a completely different topic entirely.
There are so many things in this life that I wish could end. My life being one of them. I know it's not a good thing to think about or obsess over. But hey this is life and that's what happens in life. Call it depression, call it anxiety, call it a mixture of the two. Call it whatever you want. But I want to die. I don't expect anyone to understand my reasons for wanting death over life. Maybe it's because I miss my dad so much, I want to be with him on the other side. There's nothing for me here. Not anymore. I mean what can be done about this? I fear there's nothing that can be done. I feel so lost without the ability to do anything about it. So lost and afraid and alone with my thoughts. Such thoughts can be dangerous to have. I don't know if I have the ability to overcome these thoughts. They constantly bother me, they annoy me. I need to figure out a way to move on. Move On. What an odd combination of words right now considering I'm moving. It woul...