They say time comes and goes as it pleases, but we have to make the determination to make choices in this life whether they be good or bad. But what exactly makes a choice good or bad? Who decides that? Who is the goto for everything that is either good or evil? The black and white thinking can be the death of me at times. I can feel it in my bones. There doesn’t always seem to be a simple solution to the question at hand. Sometimes we have to simply wing it, whatever comes our way and be prepared as best we can before everything blows over, and we’re caught in the thick of it all. For once, I think it would be nicde to be able to simply figure things out as they come to me. But that’s not how this life was made. Perhaps I’m made to be broken. If that’s the case, what is the purpose of it all? Doesn’t quite make sense to me. It feels like I’m in a trance at times. There’s nothing wrong with me, at least I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. But who’s to even say if there is?...
Life can be scary at times. I don’t know how else to say it. I hate being told what to do how to think or act given any kind of situation. But here I am with these fears that make it impossible to wind down at night. I just woke up to a loud banging from somewhere above or next to my apartment. I want to feel safe here, but now I’m not so sure if I can. That’s what’s scary about life most times. It’s unpredictable. It would be nice to be able to try and not worry about life and all of its misconceptions. But I don’t know how to do that. Maybe I’m not meant to understand the ways of the universe as it were. Not yet at least. If I can’t feel safe in my own home, where can I feel safe at? I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt safe in a place I’ve lived. There are too many variables that can happen. So many things that can take place. It’s down right scary at times. Yet I manage to muddle through somehow, heaven knows how I do it, but I do. It would simply be nice if I could calm down for a m...