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Blast From The Past: January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 20:06:13 MST 2020 There has got to be some reason for these thoughts. Whatever thoughts come into my mind, I mean they have to have a reason right? Worry, regret, things I can’t control. Everything else which simply can’t be understood or controlled…things like that. I don’t know what to do with these thoughts. People tell me to simply forget about them. Let them go. Who’s to know how that’s meant to work out. I don’t have a clue. I wish I did. That would be nice, but I don’t. I mean, if life is meant to be simple…a breeze, something we’re meant to accomplish well into our 90s etc, if we live that long. Then aren’t we suppose to be able to do something with it? Aren’t we meant to be able to accomplish something and just be there for each other? No matter what happens? Life comes and goes, it’s not meant to be out there out there, but here we are. We don’t know what happens all the time. We don’t know what goes on when we aren’t listening or aren’t watching. We simply don’t ...
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Samllville - Doomsday???

So, Doomsday showed up in Smallville. They were hinting at it. Jor-El told Clark in the fortress that Doomsday was coming. I was like, wait a second, doesn’t Superman meet up with Doomsday? Not some before Superman kid? Yeah…that was unexpected to say the least. I’m not sure if I want Clark to deal with Doomsday at this juncture. I mean, yes we’re talking about a show that’s been off the air for like twenty something years, but I’m a first time watcher so it’s exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens! I did read a few spoilers, I need to stop doing that! So I have an idea of what to expect about a certain character. (I think the whole thing is kinda dumb if you ask me, but it’s…whatever. When I get to that point I’ll rant about it.)

The Voices Again

So, the voices have started up again. I don’t know how to quiet them down? I mean they’re here, so they must want something , I don’t know what that is though. If I had any clue or idea of what they are meant to do with me? Then I would have a clue, but I don’t? So that’s where the confusion tends to come in. Gah! I hate living like this. I want it all to go away or stop completely. There’s got to be something I can do to quiet the voices. I fear this is just something I’ll have to grow accustomed to, something to get used to? I don’t like thinking like that though. It’s like admitting defeat or something crazy. I’d rather not deal with such nonsense, but if I can’t stop it? What can I do about it exactly? I don’t know. Maybe I can sing a song in my head, could that stop them? I’m not sure. Something has got to give when it comes to the voices though. I know I’m not the only one to hear them, there are others who have their own personal voices going on in their heads. I’m not alone in...

Blast From The Past: Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 19:48:36 MST 2020 Maybe life isn’t actually meant to be made sense of…what if we’re just here doing our thing and we don’t exactly know why we are here or what we are doing? Is that possible? I don’t see why not. I mean, if we are here and other people are someplace else…wouldn’t that simply make sense that they want something good to happen to them as well? I would think so.

Smallville - Is He Dead???

Okay, okay. So…what happened to Lex? Did Lex die? He and Clark went down in the huge ice/crystal Fortress of Solitude thing as it collapsed all around them and then what? Season Eight starts and there’s no Lex! What happened to Lex? I had to google it, and the actor wanted to pursue other things in his career, a noble choice, and they brought in this Tess Mercer chick? What the hell is going on with her?! I want Lex back! I mean, first Lionel, now Lex? WTF man?! Why is this happening? I get it, shows that last for a while they tend to fizzle out every now and then and it’s time to bring in new blood into the family. But seriously? Lex? Lex Luthor? He’s Superman’s arch enemy! You can’t kill the guy! Can you?! If they did kill him, then I guess he’s dead. Gone. Kaput! But come on now. WTF mate?!

Anxiety Vs Depression

Anxiety and depression often feed off each other in a vicious cycle. Anxiety causes hyper-arousal and racing, fearful thoughts, while depression brings deep fatigue, hopelessness, and apathy. When they clash, you might feel highly energized to fix a worry one minute, then completely paralyzed by a depressive crash the next. 1 So yeah, let’s talk about the elephant(s) in the room! Anxiety and Depression go hand in hand a lot of times. They tend to do battle, and the battlefield is your mind. It’s annoying as all get out, but what are you supposed to do about it? I’m not sure! It would be nice to be able to figure all of this out finally. But I’m not sure I have the resources available to do that. On one hand I care so much about what happens, and then I don’t care at all. It’s both confusing and mixed up at the same time! Talk about a mess inside my mind. I don’t know what to do about it though? I mean, it’s obviously an issue right? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking about. Cleve...

Anxiety At Its Finest

Anxiety is a bunch of hooey. I don’t know how else to say it. Having panic attacks that send you to the hospital are not good! I wish I had a clue of how to navigate through this life without anxiety. But I’m not sure I know how to do that, unfortunately. I’ve seen books that have to deal with anxiety and all of that, but the books I’ve seen? They tend to say “control it, we won’t tell you how to do that, but you need to control it!” So, maybe I’m not reading the right books on the subject? I don’t know. Then the panic attacks come my way, and I don’t know how to deal with those either. I just have to hang on for dear life, and hope for the best. I think that’s the best way to handle these situations right now. I guess. I hate that thought process though, it comes with a price; that’s for sure. Living with anxiety is like always contemplating what could happen or what might happen without just allowing life to take place and happen. I can’t allow life to just flow how it wants to a...