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Blast From The Past: January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 19:39:37 MST 2020 Let’s talk about today than shall we? I’d like to think it would be a nice moment in time if we could simply get along with everything that happens in this life, yet I doubt it will. It’s a shame if you think about it. A real shame. But what are you going to do with any of it? No one knows exactly. So here we sit waiting for something better to come along, hoping for something to happen and allowing us to actually see what is real and what isn’t.
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Crying

 Crying does no good in situations like this. My emotions are out of control at the moment. I'm not sure I can handle these emotions. It would be nice to be able to understand what it is I'm feeling. I'm sure it will eventually get better right? Everything tends to get better with time. Isn't there a phrase about time healing old wounds, or something like that? Yeah, that phrase. You know the one I'm talking about.

I wish I knew what to do about all of these feelings. They're overwhelming to me. Emotions are difficult to get through at times. I don't want to feel these emotions. But I guess I must for the time being. They're just so difficult to get past.

This life is difficult. There's not much else to say about it. It's just hard to live some days. Living a life you don't want to be in isn't the best way to be. I wish I could focus and knock it out. But carry on I must. Life isn't going to give me a rest; it certainly won't allow me to pause even for a minute. I need to be able to calm down. Before my depression gets the better of me.

Feels like I'm going around in circles. I'm just trying to make something out of it all. It's got to make sense in order for me to move on. It doesn't make sense. That's a problem. A rather large problem that I want to clear up as quickly as possible.

Fear of the future runs deep. It's nothing I enjoy. It would be nice if I could step out of the fear and keep it away. I'm not quite sure how to do that though. It's just something I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll learn, then again maybe I won't.

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