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Life Has A Way

Life always has a way of doing whatever it needs to do. There’s nothing wrong with that thought process. It comes and goes without a second thought. We can’t easily figure out why life does this to us, we have to understand something at some point, but if we don’t? Well, no harm no foul. It’s life and we have to continue going forward to see everything that is out there. There’s nothing we can do about it. Life will move foreward without the ability for us to do anything but wonder what this life will eventually be like in the far distant future. Oh what a joy that could bring about. If life has a way, we will be able to get from point a to point b in no time at all. It feels like a circle at times. A = B = C, isn’t that what the crazy future guy in Star Trek: Voyager tried to explain? Yeah, something like that. It’s quite an interesting thought process to be sure. It’s life though, nothing can be done about it. So let life be what it wants to be, there’s nothing wrong with that tho...
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Life Doesn't Make Sense

 How am I expected to pay all of these bills? I don't get it. I don't know how I am going to be able to pay it all and keep my head above water. It's so frustrating to me. I know I need to pay them. It makes sense to pay them and all of that. But it still haunts me to how I am going to be able to do it. Maybe I need a second job. I could wait tables or something like that I suppose. Just something to get me by in the meantime while I try and figure all of this mess out. It's quite a mess I tell you. Quite a mess.

There are so many things that don't make sense in life. Bills are just one of them. I tend to wonder what on Earth I am doing here. What's going on with all of this. I don't want to make things impossible for myself, but it feels like things are starting to get impossible for myself. Feels like there's nothing happening at all right now and I'm scared about that. I want things to happen now. On my terms. But I can't have it that way. Life doesn't care about my terms. It only cares about the terms of others it would seem.

Feels like I cannot breathe. There are so many things out there that I just can't do right now. I don't know how I am going to be able to do the things I need to do in order to accomplish what's required in this life. So many things I am frustrated with. I hate being frustrated. I'm not a fan of things that cause me grief or frustration. But here I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. Where do I go next. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

It would be nice if I could just snap my finger and make everything okay again. But that's just not going to happen. I don't know what to do about it all. There are just so many things I want out of this life. So many things I want to be able to do. But I feel so lost at the moment. Everyone else has their head screwed on straight, mine came a little crooked.

The depression is the worst of it all. I felt so down and defeated yesterday. I feel like I'm slipping into the same results as yesterday. I don't know what's going on with this life. I'm not sure I ever knew what was going on in this life. I feel like I just want to sit down and cry most days. I know I'm just throwing a pity me party right now. I get that. I need to snap out of it. Need to get moving somehow. There has to be a way to be able to get through all of this nonsense that's going on in my life. I just don't know how I am going to be able to do it.

Hopefully therapy will be able to help me out. I feel like I'm terrible at this life and everyone else has it together. I know that's not the case, but that's what my brain is telling me. My brain tends to lie to me. I'm not a fan of it, in fact I hate it. There are so many things wrong with thinking that way. I wish I could figure out what's going on with this life. I'm not sure if I understand what to do about any of it. It would be nice to have a plan going forward. Man, I wish I could just break down and cry right now. But I know it wouldn't do me any good. That's just life, and if I can't figure it out, I'll figure it out someday.

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