Leaving Life

 It's been established that I would rather die than live. It's that simple. Death Ideation is what I have. I know someday I will die, God will have to be the one to take me out of this life, because I refuse to do it myself. Suicide isn't an option for me. At one point in time, I thought it was the ideal way of leaving this life. Almost did it once but got nowhere with it. So, it's off the table. It's a terrible story that I don't tell very often, and I don't wish to tell you. So, you won't be able to read about it. God brought me into this life; God will take me out of this life.

What if there isn't a god? I mean that's quite possible. We could be believing in some nonexistent entity. A deity that doesn't exist. Now there's an interesting thought. If that's the case, who are we worshiping on Sunday? Who is it we pray to? If there's no god, then all of that is meaningless. Useless as it were. Huh, that's an interesting thought.

That line of thinking makes my stomach turn. I'd rather believe there is someone watching over us. Someone we worship and pray to. Someone who cares about our day to day lives. They don't typically respond back in the manner you would like them to. Sometimes it's a feeling. A prompting as it were. Other times it's something else. But the important part is someone is there. You are never alone.

Religion isn't high on my priority list at the moment. I'm not sure why that is. It's just a thing that happens, I guess. It would be nice if I could pick up a religion and move forward with it. I'm not saying it's out of bounds and not a possibility. It will take time to find one I can be comfortable with. Being raised Mormon, I have a difficult time choosing another religion to call my own.

Death will come for me. It is inevitable. There can be no substitute for it. It will come and when it does, I will rejoice for my time on this Earth will be over with. I won't have to suffer any longer. It will feel good to be done with this place. Some of the Earthly stressors will be gone. Worry, doubt, fear...all of those things will be a thing of the past. Even though they are currently on my mind right now, they will be eventually gone for good. I look forward to that day. I look forward to death. Again, I will not make that day come closer quicker for me than it's supposed to happen. That is a no go.

So, I will wait and see what happens with this life. How absurd can it get for me. How crazy will I get from it. So many questions I have to ask, yet no one to answer them. I suppose that will just have to do for me. If I'm unable to figure things out here, maybe in the next life I will have the time to explore and learn whatever it is that eludes me down here on Earth. There's a thought.

I can live with it.

Religious Upbringings

Everyone is brought up in one way or another. Some are brought up to be religious. Others were not brought up in such a way.

I was brought up in a very religious household. My parents are very loving and they care about me. They take religion very seriously. I admire them for that.

We just don't agree on religion at the moment. I'm not sure how badly they think of me for that. If they think badly of me at all. I respect their decision to be religious I hope they respect my decision to not be so religious.

1 Corinthians 15:1-4

The gospel can be found in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4. It talks about Jesus being cruicifed for our sins and how he was buried and then rose the third day. It's that simple.

1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;

2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.

3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;

4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

Living Life After Religion

It is possible to live life after religion. That is after going to a religious service each Sunday. It's just me and the bible at the moment and that's all the religion I need.

A Question About Churches Part 2

If all churches have some truth in them as the LDS Church teaches. Isn't that enough? I mean isn't that belief system enough for people to go to a church and simply believe and worship as they so desire? I don't understand why one church has to be the true and living church.

This goes back to the thought that the LDS Church hasn't been fully restored and is continuing to be restored. When Joseph Smith said that he had restored the Gospel, I guess he wasn't done? Left that bit to other prophets down the line?

It doesn't quite make sense to me.

A Question About Churches

I was asked by my mother if I felt any other church out there would be good for me. That was the bascics of the question. I don't recall the question exactly. I said that I didn't know.

I have no desire to join any other church at the moment. Part of me is scared. Another part ofme still believes that it would be a slap to the face of God if I were to join another church for that would require baptism. Again we're struggling with the whole authority thing.

Another part of me wonders, "what if" it's all true and I'm screwing myself over.

So many thoughts and concerns are coming to mind. I simply do not know the answer to any of them.

Grace

Grace is needed in this life and in the life to come. For Christ died for our sins, and rose the third day according to the scriptures. Without the gift that Christ brings to us, we cannot go home to that God who gave us life. Without Christ we would be forever damned to toil in hell. Without Christ we could not sing to His priases and become one with Him and His Father, our Father.

Some would have you believe that we can overcome the blocks of death all by ourselves through works. This is not so, for that would be denying Christ of what He did for us. That would be saying that we can do it all for ourselves and we wouldn't need a Savior. That is not the case.

The Bible clearly states that we are to be saved through grace not of works. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Religious Beliefs

People are always asking what I believe in now. Am I still a Christian etc. Of course I'm still a Christian. I just don't believe in one religion anymore. I have my KJV Bible and I think that's enough for now. It's just me and the Bible at this point in time.

I think it's okay to believe in the Bible. It does have a lot of teachings in it that are lost on a lot of people. Naturally people only read and see what they want to from the book. Trying to understand every aspect of it might not always be possible. So here's what you do. You begin reading starting with John and then trhough all the letters. Tackle Revelations if you so desire, and then swing back around for the rest of the gospels.

This way of studying is going good so far.

Authority To Baptize

Halfway through my mission I began to feel doubts. My first ever doubt was why did it have to take authority to baptize people. If a person's faith was strong, wouldn't that be enough for God to accept that person's baptism? I struggled with this thought for a while. I still struggle with this thought to this day. Why does it require authority from God to baptize someone?

Religion

There are times when a religion just doesn't work anymore for you. There are times when you have to move on from that religion or religious belief system. It can be heart breaking to many, even your parents and family. In fact I'm sure it will be heart breaking to many. But in the end you have to do what's right for you.

No one can tell you how to feel when it comes to religion and religious beliefs. I have come to know this after being out of religion for a good number of years. I'm sure this will come to no shock to anyone that I wasn't really ever that religious to begin with.

I figure I might as well chronolog my journey so I can best make sense of it myself.

Question Regarding Polygamy

Okay, let's say that God did command Joseph Smith to practice polygamy in order to restore all things. Why didn't Joseph Smith simply marry one additional person? Have two wives instead of the number he had? Wouldn't that have completed the commandment to practice polygamy?

Truth

“The honest investigator must be prepared to follow wherever the search of truth may lead. Truth is often found in the most unexpected places. He must, with fearless and open mind insist that facts are far more important than any cherished, mistaken beliefs, no matter how unpleasant the facts or how delightful the beliefs.”

Hugh B. Brown – General Conference, October 1962

Sounds Familiar - Teachings in Alma

The life of Elder Abel Thornton, late of Johnston, R.I. A preacher in the Free-Will Baptist Connexion, and a member of the R.I.Q. meeting


"And we see that death comes upon mankind, yea, the death which has been spoken of by Amulek, which is the temporal death; nevertheless there was a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God; a time to prepare for that endless state which has been spoken of by us, which is after the resurrection of the dead." (Alma 12:24)

By grace are ye saved?

Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Oh I hear you trying to say that you have to have works, because "faith without works is dead", and that people will show you their faith through their works. There seems to be a bit of a confusion on how we are saved. Does not the bible say "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life?" We have to believe in Jesus Christ, we have to have faith in Jesus Christ, we have to believe in the word, read the word, allow the word to bury a root within us so we may be saved.

Only Through Christ Are We Saved

It is only through Jesus Christ that we are saved. It says so in the bible:

"'And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.' Thomas said to him, 'Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?' Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14)

First Vision Accounts

There are multiple First Vision accounts for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That is, the experience of Joseph Smith seeing God face to face and talking with Him and Jesus Christ.

Last General Conference, a worldwide church meeting for the LDS faith, President Russel M. Nelson stated that church members need to brush up on the First Vision. He didn't state where to read it.

Earlier this year, it was clarified that one should go to the Pearl of Great Price for the version to read.

Interesting how just the other year, the church changed its narrative regarding the First Vision in it's book Saints. It attempted to mash all of the different accounts into one.

Josph Smith - History of Susquehanna County

https://archive.org/details/historyofsusqueh00blac/page/580

It wasn't alleged tho

Another matter. We hope that you who teach in the various organizations, whether on the campuses or in our chapels, will always teach the orthodox truth. We warn you against the dissemination of doctrines which are not according to the scriptures and which are alleged to have been taught by some of the General Authorities of past generations. Such, for instance, is the Adam-God theory. We denounce that theory and hope that everyone will be cautioned against this and other kinds of false doctrine.

Our Own Liahona, President Spencer W. Kimball, October 1976 General Conference

Gone are the days

Gone are the days when a student asked an honest question and a teacher responded, “Don’t worry about it!” Gone are the days when a student raised a sincere concern and a teacher bore his or her testimony as a response intended to avoid the issue. Gone are the days when students were protected from people who attacked the Church. Fortunately, the Lord provided this timely and timeless counsel to you teachers: “And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.”

The Opportunities and Responsibilities of CES Teachers in the 21st Century, Elder M. Russell Ballard

Women Cannot get to the Celestial Kingdom without a Husband

Preparation of Heart for Divine Blessings—Responsibility—Family Government, JOD 5 p291

Remarks by Elder Erastus Snow, Delivered in the Bowery, Great Salt Lake City, Sunday Morning, October 4, 1857.Reported by G. D. Watt, J. V. Long.