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Life Has A Way

Life always has a way of doing whatever it needs to do. There’s nothing wrong with that thought process. It comes and goes without a second thought. We can’t easily figure out why life does this to us, we have to understand something at some point, but if we don’t? Well, no harm no foul. It’s life and we have to continue going forward to see everything that is out there. There’s nothing we can do about it. Life will move foreward without the ability for us to do anything but wonder what this life will eventually be like in the far distant future. Oh what a joy that could bring about. If life has a way, we will be able to get from point a to point b in no time at all. It feels like a circle at times. A = B = C, isn’t that what the crazy future guy in Star Trek: Voyager tried to explain? Yeah, something like that. It’s quite an interesting thought process to be sure. It’s life though, nothing can be done about it. So let life be what it wants to be, there’s nothing wrong with that tho...
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Burdens

 Ever feel like a burden? I have. I currently feel like a burden to everyone I know. It's annoying to say the least. I wish I didn't feel this way. But I do and there really isn't anything to stop me from feeling this way. I just have to live with it and figure it all out. I wish I didn't feel this way. Let's face it, no one wakes up and says, "Hey I want to be a burden to everyone I know!" It just doesn't happen. So, I shy away and become quiet and distant. I'm not trying to push people away, it's just how I react to situations. I don't know how to do it any other way. I've walked away from friendships because I felt like I was a burden. I've cut ties to people I was close to at one point in time, just because I thought I was a burden. That's all I really am though a burden to people. Those I care about, those I love, I am a burden to them all. I've seen people's reactions to me. It says it all.

I've hit a low point in life. I'm depressed, alone, afraid, scared, you name it. I wish I had an idea of what to do about it all. It would be nice to be able to figure something out. I eventually will. I can't stay in one place forever. It doesn't work that way. This life is just too much for me it feels. I'm not sure what is going on with me, well I kind of do know. Major life changes happen, and things go south. Let's just put it that way. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I could lift myself up and be the bubbly cheerful guy that I was. When I was happy. It wasn't that long ago that I was happy. Peaceful with life and all of that. I want to feel that way again. I wish I could figure it all out.

Everyone has burdens. If you can think of it, I'm sure it exists. There are too many to name. It's a lot. I want to be able to lift others burdens not be a burden myself. If that makes sense. Other people need it more than I do. Anything can happen to me, it doesn't matter. Life comes and goes, and we are just here sitting waiting for something to happen. It's quite simple. There's nothing wrong with that, it's a fine way of living. Being prepared for such things of course is necessary. Whatever happens in life, it might surprise you and you have to be prepared for that possible surprise.

It would be nice if I could apologize to all of those people I just pissed off in one way or another. Those who I've been a burden to. I'm not sure that's possible though. I don't know where half of them is at this point in time. A lot of things would be nice, but I doubt any of it would ever get done. That's just how this life is.

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