Skip to main content

It Would Be Nice...

 It would be nice to be able to wake up without dread of anything. To wake up without depression or anxiety. To simply wake up and be happy. That's not possible at this current moment, but someday I hope it will be a reality. There's nothing wrong with hoping for that is there? I hope not. I just want to live life to its fullest and figure out what there is out there to see and do. But I'm sure that won't happen either. I'll sit alone in my apartment and just wish for a better day. I don't know how else to live life at this point. There seems no use to it. I am here and that is all there is to it. Maybe I'm wrong and everything will turn out okay. Who really knows the outcome of it all. The outcome of this life is a mystery to me.

That's alright though. There doesn't have to be anything that can make my life better. I can choose to either make it better or stay miserable. I choose to make it better. I think it would benefit me some. Wishing I knew what will happen doesn't really help things any. We're all stuck here on this Earth until the end comes for us. It feels like there's no point to this life. But I'm sure there is. There has to be. Anything that comes along for us is important. I don't understand it most days. Most days I just wish I could sleep forever and not wake up. But that's just me. There's no point in any of it, it's all downhill from here. Straight down to hell itself it seems. I have no hope for any of it.

Something has got to give. I don't know what that something is. Maybe I'll find out and then again maybe I won't. This life makes no sense to me right now. I wish I could have it make some kind of sense. But it doesn't, and I am here waiting for what exactly? Nothing. A big fat nothing. That's what I'm waiting for.

Oh life, you really messed up on this one didn't you.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

Babylon 5 Destruction

 I always get emotional watching the last episode of Babylon 5. Especially the destruction of the station. There are so many good memories of the series that it's just emotional watching JMS flipping the switch and the station exploding as the last transport leaves. It's like oh the series is really over. The station has served its purpose not needed anymore. Was peace ever really achieved though? It makes me wonder. I've only watched the series once all the way through, I'm on a second rewatch. One of my favorite characters is Mr. Morden. I'm not sure why that's the case, he's creepy as all get out. I just know that he intrigues me for some reason or another. Kosh is also a mystery, but he's meant to be that way. He's an alien that no one seems to understand or grasp. The whole story arc is simply amazing. It was television ahead of its time. I'm glad it was made. Talk about a brilliant television series. It was one of the first serialized shows...
Post a Comment
Read more