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It Would Be Nice...

 It would be nice to be able to wake up without dread of anything. To wake up without depression or anxiety. To simply wake up and be happy. That's not possible at this current moment, but someday I hope it will be a reality. There's nothing wrong with hoping for that is there? I hope not. I just want to live life to its fullest and figure out what there is out there to see and do. But I'm sure that won't happen either. I'll sit alone in my apartment and just wish for a better day. I don't know how else to live life at this point. There seems no use to it. I am here and that is all there is to it. Maybe I'm wrong and everything will turn out okay. Who really knows the outcome of it all. The outcome of this life is a mystery to me.

That's alright though. There doesn't have to be anything that can make my life better. I can choose to either make it better or stay miserable. I choose to make it better. I think it would benefit me some. Wishing I knew what will happen doesn't really help things any. We're all stuck here on this Earth until the end comes for us. It feels like there's no point to this life. But I'm sure there is. There has to be. Anything that comes along for us is important. I don't understand it most days. Most days I just wish I could sleep forever and not wake up. But that's just me. There's no point in any of it, it's all downhill from here. Straight down to hell itself it seems. I have no hope for any of it.

Something has got to give. I don't know what that something is. Maybe I'll find out and then again maybe I won't. This life makes no sense to me right now. I wish I could have it make some kind of sense. But it doesn't, and I am here waiting for what exactly? Nothing. A big fat nothing. That's what I'm waiting for.

Oh life, you really messed up on this one didn't you.

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