DreamSense

That's really all it is. These days, Christmas is just another day. I don't know what to do about any of that. I don't know what to do. I wish I did. It would be nice to be able to figure all of that out. It would be nice to be able to fully just understand everything. But I can't. Not until everything can find a way to make some kind of sense. There's nothing wrong with that I don't think. But I just wish I had an answer to any of it, most of it, all of it.

So many things in this life that you cannot control. It's a weird thing to do to try and control your own life. Not everything makes sense, sometimes we all just have to deal with things in our own way. There's no right or wrong answer to any of it. We just simply live and let live. Is that a thing? I'm not sure. If it isn't, well there could be worse things to worry about and think about. But here we are. Wondering if we've done the right thing. So many thoughts pass though our mind, we don't know what to do with half of them. So we sit and wait, wait and sit. See what happens and everything else. That's what this life is all about. Just waiting and seeing what happens.

There are so many things I don't want to feel. I just don't want to feel anything. Is that a wrong thing to think about? Is that something that shouldn't be anything at all to even consider? I don't know. I get that no one knows me. It's a thing for sure. So many things in this life don't make sense, they don't even matter. Yet here we are hoping and waiting for something better to come along and to actually make everything have some kind of sense. How do you do it?

Why does life have to be such a crazy place to be some days? I don't understand it. I wish everything would just make sense.

Life comes at us when we really least expect it to. Something goes a bit wonky, and we are left to put the pieces back together. The music simply continues to play on without stopping. Life doesn't stop because you are having a difficult time to get through something. Life doesn't just give up. It has to keep flowing for all the other billions of people around the world. It would be quite odd if everything just stopped because one person's heart gave way. So, life doesn't work that way. Good to know. What are we to do with the broken pieces of a heart that's holding together with duct tape and hope? Can a person live off of hope alone? I'm not sure. I imagine one could really wish that would work out...if it does great. If it doesn't? Then there could be other issues down the road. Who knows. Whatever the case, life continues to move on. The music still plays.

Wanting a need, needing a want. What ever happened to it all? There are needs and there are wants. Sometimes it's difficult to distinguish between the needs and wants. Difficult is really a tame word for it. It really sucks and I wish there was a way to differentiate between the two better. But some days there isn't, and that hurts. Trying to figure it all out...it should be able to be figured out right? I mean people do it all the time. Do I need this or do I want this? It has to work out somehow...some day...somewhere. Yeah, something like that. If it doesn't? Well, what are you supposed to do with any of it? I don't know. I really don't have a clue.

It's a simple thought, is it not? Why do people want to be wanted? I want to be wanted, I want to actually feel that want. But why is that? Why do I want to feel wanted by someone? Is that normal? Is it right? What does any of this mean?

There are things I want to say but am afraid to utter the words. It's like the words form on my lips, yet they cannot escape my thoughts. There's no reason for this, they need to be said. They want to be said. But why can't they be said?

Ever walk around a goodwill or other kind of thrift store? You see all of these things which people simply discard over the years. Some things look like they are useful to you, but they were discarded by someone else. As I walk around these stores, I feel abandoned like these very same objects. I feel like an object at times. Tossed aside, not loved anymore. Simply dropped on the ground at a way station of life. So that's what life feels like at times.

It is true, penguins can feel emotions but they cannot feel human emotions. I wish I were a penguin who didn't need to feel anything. Who couldn't feel human emotions in anyway possible. So what does one do with these emotions? Do I talk about them? Do I discuss them? What am I to do with all of these emotions that I don't want to feel?

Life comes at you another day another year everything else just rests So here we are waiting and wondering what all there will be to discuss in the future

For a moment, life almost felt normal again. It was great. I was trying to move on the best I could and see what was out there. It doesn't mean that's exactly what happened...but well you never know what will happen when you meet new people. Amazing people with amazing smiles and personalities. Beautiful as well. So here we are, just trying to do our best with what we have.

Night had come early. Winter was in full swing. Cold nights and winter snow storms seemed to fill the air. Sandra didn’t mind the cold air in the house. At night she would simply bundle up with more blankets. Sandra preferred to sleep naked. She felt better that way. The blankets helped add warmth to her already warm body. As Sandra fell asleep she began to dream. Her dreams were typical most of the time unless she had a nightmare. Tonight’s dream would be something…different. Sandra had just gotten back from the bar where she met a guy. He was six foot tall, blue eyes and black hair. Think Superman but without the super powers. She gave him her number expecting him to call, he never did. Oh well it was probably for the best. She didn’t want to give her hopes up on some fucker who didn’t care about her. Sandra’s dreams would prove different though that night. She was in the bar sitting there talking and flirting with the bartender. Most bartenders would give her a free drink if she did...

Steve walked up to Lilly. Looked her up and down. He could only imagine the hell she had been through. "I'll pay for this. Don't you worry." Lilly shook her head "No, I have a check…" Steve smiled. "Do not worry. I have it taken care of." Walking up to the front of the restaurant he paid for her meal. As Steve made it back, his bright blue eyes made contact with hers. He sat down across from her. Lilly smiled, "That was kind of you. I can't believe that jerk stood me up like that." Steve placed his hand on the table playing with a napkin. "Well jerks do exist in the world. I'm sorry you had to run into that guy." Lilly nodded. She couldn't stop staring at him. it was as though she had met him before. "Well, I'd better let you go." Steve said standing up. Lilly smiled. "Thank you again." Taking a sip of wine, she watched as he left the restaurant. Looking down at the table, something caught her...

Joe stepped into the elevator. A woman stood there holding the door open for him. He smiled to her as he entered. The elevator smelled of old mahogany and furniture polish. All things pointing to an old building. “Thank you for holding the lift.” Joe said. The woman nodded as she looked him over. Joe was wearing a dark grey suit with a bright colorful red tie. He was six feet tall of yummy goodness. She bit her lip as she thought about what he could do to her. Joe pressed a button on the elevator console that would take him to his destination. “I’m Sally” She said holding out a hand. Joe shook her hand gently. Her skin was soft. “Joe” he replied. Sally bit her lip. She imagined hitting the emergency button causing the elevator to stop. Imagined Joe taking her in his arms and kissing her gently, fully with tongue. Sally took a deep breath in. Her hand got closer to the emergency button. She glanced at Joe wondering if he had noticed her movement. He was too busy staring into her eyes. J...

It was afternoon in the office. The phone lines had quieted down a bit from the morning rush. Susan sat in her office working on a proposal for the next day. Her legs were crossed under her chair as she swayed along with music playing in her office. Tom looked up from his computer across the hall. He smiled as he saw Susan dancing in her chair. Tom shook his head as he continued working. He had a crush on Susan for a while now. It was something he hadn’t told anyone of course. One doesn’t just hit on the daughter of the president of the company. He had seen many guys try and ask her out but she had turned them all down one after another. The men weren’t fired because of it, but they couldn’t handle the stares of other co workers, so they left on their own. “Tom” Susan’s voice could be heard over his phone speaker. He looked up towards her office. She was looking at him. “Come in here please.” Tom activated his speaker “Right away.” He stood and cross the office floor to Susan’s office....

Walking into the apartment I took off my jacket and tossed it on the couch. "Jen?" I called out. There was no response. Walking around, I heard the shower running. I slipped off my shoes and loosened my tie. I loved shower time, it was always a fun experience. By the time I made it to the bedroom, my shirt was unbuttoned and my pants were on the floor. Kicking the pants aside, I tossed the shirt into the laundry hamper. Opening the door to the bathroom, I took a peek in. There she was singing away. I removed my boxer briefs. They dropped to the floor as I stepped out of them. I stood there nude waiting for her to take notice. She continued singing. "I'll give you something to sing about." I whispered. I opened the shower door. Startled, Jen turned around. Her nude body facing me, her tits staring me down. Her hips inviting me. "Mike." She said as she bit her lip between words. I smiled. "Hi baby, thought you could use a pick me up." She grinn...

Her appointment with her shrink was at 2pm. As usual, she was prompt and ready for him a good ten minutes early. Sitting in the waiting room, she could only imagine how his day was going, that and what she would talk to him about. Anna had been seeing the same doctor for the past seven years. He always knew what she needed to get her through the week. "Anna?" She heard her name called out by the receptionist. "The doctor's ready to see you now." Anna stood and walked into the office. As Anna entered the room, their eyes locked. Soon her skirt was on the floor and her blouse was off. Anna unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. She never wore panties to her appointments, they always got in the way. "On the couch." He instructed. "Yes sir." Anna responded. "Anything you say Daddy." The word Daddy rolled off her tongue. She needed to be spanked, fucked, and anything else he wanted to do to her. She wanted it all. Anna kneeled o...

So many things out there in life and they all appear to be confusing. I wish I had an answer to all of it. Something to grasp and hold onto. Something to fully just understand. Self sabotage seems to be something I'm good at. It's not right, I know it's not right...and yet it exists. So I have to find a way to get around that and not let it happen. So many decisions to come to. So many things that overwhelm the mind and senses. It's all just a big glob of goo that I wade through. At times I feel alone, even though I know I'm not. Difficult to express, even more difficult to comprehend at times.

He awoke to the sound of movement... it wasn't near him, but at the other end of the house towards the guest bedroom. Where she was sleeping. Climbing out of bed, he walked down the hallway and prepared himself for whatever struggle might be going on. As he turned the corner, there was his guest. Nude on the bed pleasuring herself. He smiled. She was enjoying herself. Rubbing her wet pussy. Moaning as her other hand was rubbing her round tits. The bed gently rocked against the wall. As she rubbed her clit her pussy got wetter and wetter. She thrust a few fingers inside and then brought them up to her mouth where she tasted herself. She grinned in delight as she continued to rub her vulva. His cock was hard as he had started rubbing it. Hoping and wishing that he would be the one that was pleasing her. His precum light at first got thicker and thicker as he stroked. Rubbing the precum up and down his shaft then around his balls. The veins on his penis pulsed with each rub. Wrapping ...

https://archive.org/details/historyofsusqueh00blac/page/580

Another matter. We hope that you who teach in the various organizations, whether on the campuses or in our chapels, will always teach the orthodox truth. We warn you against the dissemination of doctrines which are not according to the scriptures and which are alleged to have been taught by some of the General Authorities of past generations. Such, for instance, is the Adam-God theory. We denounce that theory and hope that everyone will be cautioned against this and other kinds of false doctrine. Our Own Liahona, President Spencer W. Kimball, October 1976 General Conference

Gone are the days when a student asked an honest question and a teacher responded, “Don’t worry about it!” Gone are the days when a student raised a sincere concern and a teacher bore his or her testimony as a response intended to avoid the issue. Gone are the days when students were protected from people who attacked the Church. Fortunately, the Lord provided this timely and timeless counsel to you teachers: “And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” The Opportunities and Responsibilities of CES Teachers in the 21st Century , Elder M. Russell Ballard

Preparation of Heart for Divine Blessings—Responsibility—Family Government , JOD 5 p291 Remarks by Elder Erastus Snow, Delivered in the Bowery, Great Salt Lake City, Sunday Morning, October 4, 1857.Reported by G. D. Watt, J. V. Long.

An Address to all Believers in Christ, David Whitmer, Chapter 5

Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear , President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2017 General Conference   Discover Christ’s truths now, Latter-day Saint leader Russell Nelson says, ‘time is running out’ , Salt Lake Tribune

Once called revelation, a difficult policy has been reversed. Children of gay parents can now be baptized into the LDS church before the age of 18, they are now eligible to have a baby blessing and all other ordinances allowed to other members of the church. People in a same sex marriage are no longer to be disciplined under grounds of apostasy. These changes come a short 3.5 years after they were put into place. There are some questions I have regarding this. Did God change His mind? It was spoken as revelation at the start, and now it’s more revelation to end such a practice? Which revelation is correct? What of those who were excommunicated during the policy because they were found guilty of apostasy? Does God simply shake his head at it and say oops...that shouldn’t have happened. How long before all of this is swept under the rug and people claim it never took place to begin with? What about those who testified about the roa...

https://www.lds.org/church/news/elder-christofferson-says-handbook-changes-regarding-same-sex-marriages-help-protect-children?lang=eng https://www.lds.org/church/news/policy-changes-announced-for-members-in-gay-marriages-children-of-lgbt-parents?lang=eng

Warring against the Saints of God , 1988 Ensign

https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2019/04/06/after-many-recent-changes/ https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2019/04/07/latest-lds-general/

Your touch excites me breathing in the night bodies communicating through feeling each other Sounds whisper softly in the darkest of days craving to touch the other if only for a moment

  Preach my Gospel, Page 5 3 Nephi 27:17  Question: Why did the LDS Church remove "hewn down" and "from whence they can no more return" from the quote?

Book of Commandments Chapter 4 Verse 2 Doctrine and Covenants Section 5 Verse 4

  Gospel Principles, Chapter 19, Repentance

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: Ecclesiastes 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not. Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Hebrews 4:15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 1 John 2:2 And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. Matthew 12:40 For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. Acts 13:30 But God raised him from the dead: Revelation 1:18 I am he that live...

  Moroni 8:14 Note: It doesn't say babies... it says "little children", aren't 8 year olds little children?

History of the Church, Vol 6. pp 408-409

  The Seer Page 158 , Orson Pratt

  The Seer Page 172 , Orson Pratt

We have heard considerable of late, especially since twelve months today, on the subject of the Word of Wisdom. Almost every elder who has spoken from this stand has felt the necessity and importance of calling the attention of the people to this subject. We are told, and very plainly too, that hot drinks—tea, coffee, chocolate, cocoa and all drinks of this kind are not good for man. Word of Wisdom—Fish Culture—Dietetics Discourse by Elder George Q. Cannon, delivered in the New Tabernacle, Salt Lake City, April 7th, 1868.Reported by David W. Evans.

Sitting here waiting for something anything to happen yet it won't, it doesn't know how Life occurs beyond bliss and reason yet here we sit, waiting

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression. The second Article of Faith clearly states that we don’t believe in original sin. Original sin, is the sin which Adam and Eve committed in the Garden of Eden. That is, hearkening unto Satan and eating of the fruit. In turn, we are only responsible for the sins which we commit here in our own lives. Seems nice for sure, don’t have to be held to another person’s sins to dictate our lives. Well...that’s not the whole truth though. You see, in November of 2015 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints included some things in their Official Handbook of Instructions (Handbook One) redefining apostasy. It included in that definition that members in homosexual relationships would be declared in apostasy. (It’s okay to have the thoughts, just don’t act on them.) It also changed a few things around for children of those same sex couples. Children who have two parents who are the same sex, ca...

There are times in this life where we cannot fully understand or grasp it all. I do not know exactly how any of that works or happens, but here we are and that should be enough? Maybe not. I do not know exactly how this life is meant to be played out. It racks my brain more than anything else at the moment. It has indeed become a downfall of repressed memories, upon the likes which I cannot find myself the trouble to handle at times. If there was a pre-existence and we did live with God before this life...we shouted for Joy to be able to come down and gain a body like he did? We wanted to forget everything we knew and simply come down without any sort of knowledge before hand what we would be getting ourselves into? I have often stated that I hoped God would have taken each of us aside personally and spoken with us explaining that which was about to happen, personally to us. Instead of just tossing us down here without any kind of preparation. Even though we would for...

There are times when you have to simply live the truth. Whatever truth that is. Does the bible not teach that: The truth shall set you free? 1 I believe it does. So, what does that mean exactly? Personally to me, it means that no matter where the truth will lead you. As long as you study it with intent and with actual pure of heart, with no desire to deceive anyone not even yourself, you will come across that which will help you feel at peace. Personally I for one, would love to have peace in my life. A religion which causes you to experience anxiety over simple things doesn't make sense to me. I believe that's one reason why I no longer believe. But only one. There are many reasons why I no longer believe in the LDS religion or faith. Those questions have come from and have lasted a long time without having answers to any of it. It is rather troubling to my mind if you ask me. 1. John 8:32

Looking over at lds.org, I found a discrepancy. It has to do with Joseph Smith and money digging. In 1989, this was taught that Joseph had no dealings with money digging or “peepstones”. A peep stone, is a stone used to look for buried treasure, an act that Joseph was indeed doing. Here’s the quote from a 1989 article: The Knight families knew Joseph Smith in the earliest days, when he was accused of gold-digging and using peep stones. If Joseph Smith were a charlatan or disreputable money grubber as detractors charged, the large Knight clan would not have felt such deep trust in him. Their loyalty to him was based on firsthand, intimate knowledge, which stands today as a solid witness that the Prophet’s character, from when he was twenty to his death at thirty-eight, was righteous and good. 1 And now a quote from the new church history volume, Saints: In September 1826, Joseph returned to the hill for the plates, but Moroni said he was s...

December 15, 1969 To General Authorities, Regional Representatives of the Twelve, Stake Presidents, Mission Presidents, and Bishops. Dear Brethren: In view of confusion that has arisen, it was decided at a meeting of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve to restate the position of the Church with regard to the Negro both in society and in the Church. First, may we say that we know something of the sufferings of those who are discriminated against in a denial of their civil rights and Constitutional privileges. Our early history as a church is a tragic story of persecution and oppression. Our people repeatedly were denied the protection of the law. They were driven and plundered, robbed and murdered by mobs, who in many instances were aided and abetted by those sworn to uphold the law. We as a people have experienced the bitter fruits of civil discrimination and mob violence. We believe that the Constitution of the United States was divinely inspired, that it was ...

August 17, 1949 The attitude of the Church with reference to Negroes remains as it has always stood. It is not a matter of the declaration of a policy but of direct commandment from the Lord, on which is founded the doctrine of the Church from the days of its organization, to the effect that Negroes may become members of the Church but that they are not entitled to the priesthood at the present time. The prophets of the Lord have made several statements as to the operation of the principle. President Brigham Young said: "Why are so many of the inhabitants of the earth cursed with a skin of blackness? It comes in consequence of their fathers rejecting the power of the holy priesthood, and the law of God. They will go down to death. And when all the rest of the children have received their blessings in the holy priesthood, then that curse will be removed from the seed of Cain, and they will then come up and possess the priesthood, and receive all the blessings which we ...

Hyrum Smith, Times And Seasons vol 5, p 474