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Showing posts from February, 2026

Today Is Another Day

Today is Wednesday, it feels just like any other day. I don’t know how else to explain it. Feelings are ramped up today, I don’t know how else to explain any of it. I’m kind of emotional and I don’t know what to do about it. I hate feeling this way, it sucks. But feelings will be feelings and there’s nothing I can do about it I’m afraid. A sad shame and turn of events I fear. But what can one do about these thoughts that enter my mind? Not a whole lot I’m afraid. Sometimes I feel it’s paranoia doing its bloody work on me. I hate paranoia, I hate being paranoid. It’s a thing that simply happens and I don’t have a way to overcome it. If I could overcome it, do you think I would be dealing with all of this? I doubt it. I think life would be better off for my brain at least, my mind wouldn’t be alerting me to things that aren’t real. The demons wouldn’t come out to play at least, and I might be able to figure something out in this life. That’s how I see it though, not sure how it’s meant...
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Dear Dad

February 28, 2026 Dear Dad, Well you missed your fiftieth wedding anniversary. I don’t know if you are able to celebrate where you are. Or if things like anniversaries are even thought or cared about. It would be a nice thought if they were still considered for something, a memory at least. But I don’t know how any of that really works. Heck there’s a lot of things that I don’t know how it works right now and I have to be okay with that. Life is hard right now. I don’t know how else to put it really I don’t. It kinda sucks. But well here I am. It’s just how things are at the moment I guess. Whatever. I’ll get through it and figure things out. Wish you were here so I could just talk it over through with you. But you’re not, so I have to go it alone I guess. I read the news and it’s just terrible, so there’s no point in reading the news. It just gets in the way of everything else and I don’t know how to feel about it all. It’s getting under my skin at times, and I don’t like it! O...
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Dear Dad

February 21, 2026 Dear Dad, Life just isn’t the same without you. Mom’s going through some things and I think she really needs your help out on this one. But you’re not here and so I don’t know what to think or do or say about any of it. I mean we’re all here but you. I get that it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that you died. It’s no ones fault that they die. I’m slowly understanding that. But I have to ask. Didn’t anyone try the Heimlich maneuver on you at the restaurant? There are so many unanswered questions I have and I don’t dare ask them, because it wouldn’t be appropriate. I mean your death just seems meaningless. Somehow I always thought you’d go out in a bang but that didn’t happen, did it. No, I didn’t think so. To be honest I think it sucks. What else am I supposed to think? Yeah exactly. Love, Kyle
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Dear Dad

February 18, 2026 Dear Dad, Life doesn’t feel fair right now. I don’t know how else to put it really. It’s rather annoying. I wish I could make it all go away and simply make this life work out better than it currently is. But there doesn’t seem to be a way to get over this. Or through it. I suppose that’s just life maybe? Who really knows at this stage in the process. Being here and trying to get by is difficult. But I’ve got nothing else to do about it, so that’s just life I guess. I mean what else can I do? Not much I’m afraid. I miss your wisdom dad. It always brought some sort of comfort to me. I could use that about now. But, well yeah. You know how that is. It’s just life that gets in the way I suppose. What else can you do with life at this point in time? Not much I’m afraid. So I’ll just keep on living life. Love, Kyle
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Dear Dad

February 16, 2026 Dear Dad, What I would give to be with you right now. I know how that sounds. It doesn’t sound good at all. I just miss you. I want to be where you are. I feel a bit jealous that you got to move onto what’s next while I’m still here on Earth trying to figure out this life stuff. I get why I’m still alive, I mean what’s there not to get or understand? I still have stuff to do down here on Earth. I just can’t give up and go to the afterlife ya know? Yeah that. Life isn’t very easy right now. It kinda sucks to be honest. But I’m trying to do my best to make the most out of it. I mean what else can I do? Not much I’m afraid. That’s just how this life rolls. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I was reminded of you the other day. I remember thinking, yeah my dad would love this. I wish I could remember what it was I was thinking about, or what I saw, or … well it was something you would have liked. I know there were times I was a disappointment to you, and ...
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Dear Dad

February 15, 2026 Dear Dad, It’s been just over a year since you died. I won’t lie, at first I was angry and mad at God for taking you away from us. Especially away from mom. But I came to realize that this life just isn’t meant to go on forever. It has its limitations. No one’s supposed to live forever. It almost feels like a curse at times. But that’s just how this life is and I don’t think it’s very fair. Well I have a feeling that this life just isn’t meant to be fair. I’m not sure why that is, but that’s just how it feels at times. I don’t know how to change that feeling. I wish I could talk with you one last time. Spend a day with you at least. I remember the fishing trips we would use to take. I don’t remember catching anything, but I remember spending time with you. Those were some good times. There are regrets in my mind. I should have called you the day you died, or the day before. But there was no telling that it was going to happen. So I don’t believe I could have...
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