DreamSense

Everyone pays a price for living in this world. That’s not to say it’s an easy thing to do, on the contrary. Life can be downright difficult at times. But, whoever said this life would be easy? I don’t think anyone has ever come to that conclusion. If they have, they are in error. If I had the ability to make this life easier, I’m not sure if I would or not. Maybe I’m just a lost soul on this whole path. With no place to go, and at times that troubles me. If there’s anything I’ve learned in this life it’s this: Nothing comes easy, nothing comes cheap. There’s always a price to pay eventually. I wish there was an easy fix for everything in this life. But things come at a cost. There isn’t a clean fix for everything right here and right now. That’s just how this life is. Thinking about all of this makes me sad on the inside. I would rather not think about things, but such is the nature of the beast. These things demand they be thought about and discussed. I’m not sure if I trust my ...

Talk about an amazing show. I was hooked from the start. It took a new unique approach on Superman and Clark Kent. Not to mention, Lois, Lana, and the rest of the gang. Of course then there are Jordan and Jonathan, the children. Hell even Lex Luther was amazing in this show. But, there is one character that was beyond amazing, and it’s one of the villains. That’s right, I’m talking about. Doomsday. This show did something right with the character. They kept killing the subject over and over until it became Doomsday, an unkillable creature. Just like the comics. Sure in the comics they started with a baby on Krypton. But Superman and Lois’ way of doing it is acceptable to me as well. It felt like each season built upon previous seasons. Lois’s breast cancer, Clark’s human heart. When they both died in the finale, it broke my heart. Superman isn’t supposed to die, but well the way the storyline went, he did; and you know what? I’m OK with that. Lois also died from her cancer that came ...

What Do You Do? What is the point of living if you are miserable most of the time? Say you have to go through dialysis twice to three times a week. What’s the point of living? You’re tethered to a machine three times during the week without any kind of escape. Feels like at some point all hope is lost and goes out the window. So, what do you do at that point in life? I mean do you simply give up and call it quits? I’m not sure what the answer is for that. I feel heartbroken not being able to reach out and help those who need my help. If I had a way to do it, I would. But I’m not sure if I know how to go about doing that. I feel stuck in a place without anywhere to go. Without anyway to overcome whatever it is I am feeling right now. These feelings suck to be honest. Wishing Wishing my dad was here to help doesn’t make matters easier. I still have him in my phone, his phone has long since been disconnected. I’ll never hear his voice again. Wishing never did a damn thing for me. I fe...

Let death come for me. I feel done. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone out there, but that’s how I feel. Life can be so upsetting at times. Upsetting and overwhelming. I don’t know which is worse if I’m being honest about it. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to die. Stare death in the face as he comes to take my soul wherever souls eventually go when we leave this existence. But dying comes with a price, that’s experiencing dying. I have a fear about dying. I fear the actual process of dying. I don’t want to feel death. There’s a term for being obsessed with death and fear of dying. It’s thanatophobia. So that’s a thing. It would be nice not to worry about dying. I don’t know how to do that. I see life in a very black and white methodology. It’s not for everyone, not everyone sees life that way. But that’s how I see life. Kinda strange? Maybe. Perhaps not. Eh, it’s a thing. I don’t know how it all works, just that’s how I live life. But what’s living life exact...

Some say that death is the ultimate boundary to cross. It’s something we all must eventually face. There’s no lie to those thoughts. They are actually truthful as there is truth in them. Sometimes we have to wonder when death will take us. How it will take us. Why it will take us. Well, I suppose why is already known. People just grow old and die. Sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason for any of it. When death comes knocking, you have to go. There’s no turning back. Once you go through that door you have to keep on walking. They say when you’re going through hell you have to keep on walking. Sometimes hell is all we have. that’s not to say it’s a bad thing. On the contrary, it could mean so many different things all at once. I wish I had an example of it, but alas I don’t. I think there’s a lot of things I don’t grasp or understand in this life. It would be nice to be able to figure out what’s going on most days. But I doubt I’ll ever be that lucky. Maybe this life isn’t meant to b...

They say time comes and goes as it pleases, but we have to make the determination to make choices in this life whether they be good or bad. But what exactly makes a choice good or bad? Who decides that? Who is the goto for everything that is either good or evil? The black and white thinking can be the death of me at times. I can feel it in my bones. There doesn’t always seem to be a simple solution to the question at hand. Sometimes we have to simply wing it, whatever comes our way and be prepared as best we can before everything blows over, and we’re caught in the thick of it all. For once, I think it would be nicde to be able to simply figure things out as they come to me. But that’s not how this life was made. Perhaps I’m made to be broken. If that’s the case, what is the purpose of it all? Doesn’t quite make sense to me. It feels like I’m in a trance at times. There’s nothing wrong with me, at least I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. But who’s to even say if there is?...

Life can be scary at times. I don’t know how else to say it. I hate being told what to do how to think or act given any kind of situation. But here I am with these fears that make it impossible to wind down at night. I just woke up to a loud banging from somewhere above or next to my apartment. I want to feel safe here, but now I’m not so sure if I can. That’s what’s scary about life most times. It’s unpredictable. It would be nice to be able to try and not worry about life and all of its misconceptions. But I don’t know how to do that. Maybe I’m not meant to understand the ways of the universe as it were. Not yet at least. If I can’t feel safe in my own home, where can I feel safe at? I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt safe in a place I’ve lived. There are too many variables that can happen. So many things that can take place. It’s down right scary at times. Yet I manage to muddle through somehow, heaven knows how I do it, but I do. It would simply be nice if I could calm down for a m...

 I have social anxiety. It sucks. Like sucks bad. I wish there was a simple way to simply get rid of it, but there isn't. That's just how this life works I guess. There's got to be a way to handle it better than I currently am. But I don't know how to do that. It just comes with the territory I think. Would be nice to know  exactly  how to deal with it all.  Social anxiety (or social phobia) is an intense, persistent fear of being watched, judged, or rejected by others in social or performance situations. It causes extreme discomfort, leading to avoidance of social interactions, physical symptoms like rapid heart rate or sweating, and significant interference with daily life, work, or school. Welp, there's  one  definition for it. I'm sure there are others but they all end up saying the same thing. What they don't tell you is what you're feeling as you experience your surroundings. Now that's a completely different topic entirely. 

 There are so many things in this life that I wish could end. My life being one of them. I know it's not a good thing to think about or obsess over. But hey this is life and that's what happens in life. Call it depression, call it anxiety, call it a mixture of the two. Call it whatever you want. But I want to die. I don't expect anyone to understand my reasons for wanting death over life. Maybe it's because I miss my dad so much, I want to be with him on the other side. There's nothing for me here. Not anymore. I mean what can be done about this? I fear there's nothing that can be done. I feel so lost without the ability to do anything about it. So lost and afraid and alone with my thoughts. Such thoughts can be dangerous to have. I don't know if I have the ability to overcome these thoughts. They constantly bother me, they annoy me. I need to figure out a way to move on. Move On. What an odd combination of words right now considering I'm moving. It woul...

 Let's face it, life is hard at times. I don't know how else to say it. I mean there are just times in life that doesn't make sense. I'm not quite sure I can understand everything that happens or goes on. I wish I had the ability to grasp something, anything to make things have sense. Some kind of sense is all I'm seeking for. If I could find a way to make this life better, I would make it work out for me. But again, I don't know how to do that. Maybe I'm not meant to understand anything. Is that possible? I think it quite is. So many things I wish for and I can't seem to manage to make things work out for me. I guess I'll never know what's going to happen in life. I don't think anyone ever knows what the future will hold. They can take a wild guess at what might take place or happen, but there's no real telling what  will  happen.