Skip to main content

Can We Talk About Life?

 Seriously, can we talk about life for a moment? It's pretty screwed up if you ask me. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to make things right. I have no place to go. I'm lucky to be where I'm at in the first place. But that can't last forever. I don't even want it lasting three months. I need to find a place to stay that's stable and good to live in. I don't know how I will do that exactly; that's still on the drawing board. Everything I own fit in a suitcase at the moment. I have nothing to my name literally. It's a difficult place to be in at the moment. I don't know what to do with myself.

The family I'm staying with are wonderful. They let me into their home without hesitation. I just wish I knew how to repay them back for their kindness and not step on any toes. I also don't want to over welcome my stay. That would be a big no on my part. I could see how that could happen though. I don't want that. I'm sure they don't want that either. I'm afraid of what will happen. Isn't that normal to be afraid of what will happen? I think it is. I hope it is, if it's not then I'm not normal and we have bigger issues. But what can I say at this point in time. It is what it is and there's nothing anyone can really do about it. So I'm alone in my journey to find a better place for me.

I hate to even think about it. There's so much to think about during a time like this that I don't know what to do about any of it. Maybe there's not much to think about. What if that is all there is to think about though and I am missing the boat? I'm not sure what to think to be honest. I feel so lost and alone. There's no one around to help me figure out my thoughts. Hell, I can't even get into the same therapist I had the last time because of an overdue bill.

With all of these unknown parts of life, I tend to think about suicide as a means to end it all. My mental health is not where it should be. It's like it's taken an electrical shock, and I don't know what to do about it. Is that normal of a feeling to have? I'm not sure. I feel like I need a reboot on life. If there's any way I can figure this out it's got to be soon. I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment, and I don't know how to get away from that feeling. I hate it.

Every time I move, I leave a part of me behind. There's no explanation to it. I just can't take it all with me. Especially on an airplane. Maybe I should have just traveled by vehicle instead. A nine-hour drive doesn't seem that difficult. Maybe that's what I should have done. But it's too late now. I flew and that's all there is to it. My things were left behind to hopefully be shipped to me at some later date and time.

So many things I wish for, and so little time for them all to come true. I'm aging, as is everyone else on the planet. It's a normal part of life. As we age things tend to get worse for our bodies. We don't know what to do with any of it, just let nature take its course. I wish it wasn't that way, but that's the way it seems to be at times. For everyone. On the entire planet.

So that's where we end up. Life is difficult and different for everyone around us. We each have our own individual hurdles to get through and that is a great deal. Nothing really ever makes sense to us and that's what becomes a thorn in my side. But we still move forward marching to an end goal where life won't be as bad.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

An Opposition In All Things

Long has been the story told about how there must be an opposition in all things. From the pre-existence there was Satan, Lucifer the Son of the Morning. In the beginning we were with God in his presence. We learned all we could while there. Until the moment we couldn’t progress any more, we were unable to become like God. So, we were given the opportunity to come to Earth to gain a body. A Savior would be provided to atone for our sins enabling us to come back to the presence of God. The idea that an opposition must be in all things comes from 2nd Nephi: For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither...
Post a Comment
Read more

Temptation Bible vs Book of Mormon

In the Bible in 1 Corinthians 10:13 we find: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able ; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. But what might seem as a contradiction is found in Alma 13:28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear , and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; So, which is it? Either God tempts you to a point and stops, or you have to actively pray not to be tempted beyond that no return point. Which is it?
Post a Comment
Read more