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Blast From The Past: Depression

I’d like to think life would come about and make more sense than it does at the moment, but I doubt that will ever happen. Life comes and goes as it pleases and I have no idea why it does what it does. It would be nice for life to make sense. Depression and all comes about because well I don’t know why it comes about, it just does and here I am trying to over do or overcome it or something. I don’t quite understand why this life has to be the way it is.

Blast From The Past: Life Is Weird

Life came out to play one day and I was not ready for it. In fact I was never ready for it. That’s just how the ball bounces around me. I’m never ready for life to happen. So here I sit waiting to see what else life will throw at me.

Life Is Meaningless

I tend to find that life is meaningless at times. I don’t know what that is mind you, I just do. It’s not a good thought process to have at times. But I have it so it must be true inside my own brain somehow, right? Yeah…that’s what I was thinking. If life weren’t meaningless, would I even be interested in such a topic? I’m not sure. But there are many topics in life that make us wonder at times. Are we going down the right path, are we doing the right things in life. Are we going to make it through our next trial that comes along? Be it a trial of faith, intelligence, strength…whatever. Are we going to be strong enough to get through it? I often have these questions in my life and I don’t know how to get around them. I wish I knew how to overcome these thoughts, but they keep coming and I don’t have a way of making them stop. So I will have to figure them out as they come to me.

The Truth Be Told

They say life has a way of messing with you. You don't always have the ability to understand what's going on in life. It will screw with you long before you are able to grasp what is going on. But that's supposed to be okay with it all. I don't know how it's meant to be okay, but that's what it is doing and we are but waiting for something to come along and everything else will become whatever it needs to become. So don't allow it to be what it wants to be, let it be what it doesn't want to be. Make it angry, make it upset, don't allow it to become more than important.

Blast From The Past: February 21, 2024 - My Only Request

Nothing to think about, nothing to display. This day and every day goes away. The way of the dinosuars they don’t stick around. Everything and everyone ends up on the ground. It is but a moment in this life it would seem, no one wants to be in that gleam. So toss away your thoughts, your considerations at best, make life peaceful that is my only request.

Blast From The Past: February 21, 2024 - I Feel Like A Fuckup

I feel like a screw up. Is that good enough to say? I don’t know. Well it’s not good to say that at all I suppose. But life doesn’t feel like it used to. I don’t have a clue why that is. It just feels like blah. Can that be a good answer for everything? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Blast From The Past: February 19, 2024

Let’s think about this life for a moment shall we? The important things of life nothing too graphic, nothing too crazy. Just life in its infinite wisdom. Is that possible? I don’t know. How would I know if that were possible? I don’t have a clue about anything else, why would I have a clue about life? Yeah it’s kinda crazy don’t you think? I mean here we are trying to do our best only to find out that something most terrible is going to happen. I wish I could say exactly what the terrible thing is, but I can’t. I don’t know or have a clue. Personally I wish I didn’t know what was going to happen. Well wait, let me back up a second. I really don’t have a clue what’s going to happen. I just know what I think is going to happen. The reaction about it from my wife is just… I don’t know exactly what to think about the reaction from her. She’s been expecting it for a while now I guess. Feels like I’ve been taken out of the blue and things just don’t make sense at the moment. It would be nic...

Why!!!

Why must life be this way? I don’t understand it. If we lived in a utopia, things might be better; but I’m not sure about that. I wish there was some kind of something to overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I doubt I will ever fully figure it out. If I had the ability, I would do it in a second. But I don’t seem to have that ability at the moment. Maybe one day I will be able to figure it all out.

What If?

One would think this life would be easier than it currently is. I mean come on wouldn’t ou think that? Of course you would. So why can’t we each believe in it I for one would want to believe in it. It would give me something to do with my day at least. But well there’s something else on my mind. We have to be able to understand what it is exactly, if we don’t? Then that’s something quite different now isn’t it? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Blast From The Past: February 17, 2024 - Trying My Best

I’m trying here, is that all which matters in this life? Trying your best? I don’t know or have a clue as to how that works. It’s just a life that we have to be able to get through. I think that’s how it works, maybe possibly. I really do not have a clue. I wish I did have an idea of how life worked, maybe then I’d be able to figure out what to do about all of this other nonsense.

Blast From The Past: February 26, 2024 - Meh Life

Today is not going well, My phone isn’t working. I hate it. I need to get a new phone, but we have no funds for a new phone. Who knows what’s going on anymore. I hate it. I wish there was something we could do about it, but there isn’t. I mean yeah I need to get a new phone. But the money thing is making it difficult. I wish I could just snap my fingers and make my old phone work fine and dandy again, but I doubt life works that way. No, I know life doesn’t work that way.

Life Has A Way

If I had the ability, I think I would do something about it. By it I mean life. I need to be able to figure things out in this life, I'm not sure what that means exactly, but if life had the ability to be understood, then I'm sure it would have to do with something that is extra special. Special enough to be there for everything else out there in the world. I just wish I could see how special it all is. But I can't. So I will try and attempt to figure out whatever happens. Or what has happened, perhaps what will happen? I'm not sure. It's life, and that's all I know about it. Talk about a wild ride though. We just never understand what's going on most of the time, and that's what's scary. But we have to keep moving forward.

Don't Have A Clue

Let’s discuss whatever needs to be talked about today. Shall we? yeah I think we need to or something. I don’t know, or have a clue. It would be nice if I could understand whatever there was to understand. But I don’t get it all, I hardly even recognize that something needs to be understood to begin with. It can be quite annoying if you ask me. But what am I supposed to do about it all? I don’t have a clue.

Blast From The Past: February 13, 2024 - I'll Be Fine

Updated the version number of commands. At this point I hope it works. It’s a simple diary/note taking application. There’s nothing really special about it really. Just something I came up with that would help my thought process. Whatever the case, it tends to help. For example this morning, I’m tried. I slept for most of the night. Got up at midnight for a little bit, but then went back to bed at one and slept until six a.m. So I should be wide awake at the moment, my brain needs to wake up. that’s all there is to it. But who knows, there’s just so much going on that I don’t have a clue what to believe or what to think at the moment. Is that a bad thing? I’m not sure. whatever the case, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m always just fine .

Whatever It Brings

Why does this life feel this way? There’s got to be some reasoning behind it. I wish I had a reason for any of it, most of it, whatever there is I’m supposed to think or do or say. One of those things needs to become aparent.

Life Has To Be Something Better

Life has to be something better than what we can see around us. It must be a kind of utopia that’s just beyond that hill, or just a little bit after the horizon. Whatever the case, it has to be there. I don’t see any other way on how this would work. I think it’s up to us to make life better than it is. Does that make sense? I sure hope it does to someone who’s reading this. If it does then I’ve done something right. If it doesn’t? Well that’s another story for another time.

If I Had A Way

If I had a way to figure out what this life means, I’m not sure I would be able to figure much out or understand it. That’s what this life feels like at times. I can’t make this up at all. I wish I could, but well it doesn’t happen that way. Just a life out in the middle of it all. That’s life in a nutshell, don’t you get it? I highly doubt it at all. So much doubt in this life to be covered by many things. Yeah, something like that. It’s a complicated mess at times I do believe. But what can we do about it? I don’t know.

Blast From The Past: February 8, 2024 - I Don't Know Anymore

Welp today was a miserable day altogether. I don’t know what to say about it, it was just one of the worst days I’ve had mentally. I have to stay strong for my wife. She’s going through some stuff right now and I can’t be having issues when she needs me to be strong for her. So I guess I’ll just bury it all until I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know what to say about it all. I feel all sorts of lost at the moment. So that’s what’s going on.

Blast From The Past: February 2, 2024 - Worry

Something about today worries me. I don’t know what that is yet. I’m sure it’s nothing. Let’s chalk it up to nothing, yes that would be a good idea. Nothing sounds better than worrying about something right? Yeah that’s what I’m thinking it has to do with. Nothing at all. Something gives you the heebeegeebies. Is that even a full word? Or is that two seperate words? I don’t have a clue.

Blast From The Past: February 2, 2024 -- Something More

It would be helpful to be able to figure out what this life is about. I mean we know there’s a purpose to it all right? This existence can’t be all for nothing at least I don’t think it can be. There’s got to be something greater out there. I wish we had access to all that was out there. Everything that has a purpose must find a way to exist. Is that even possible? I’m not certain. Something has to give in order for anything in this life to make sense. I don’t see how any of this could ever make sense though. I mean here we are and we haven’t gone anywhere but the Moon and that has no intelligent life on it at all. What about other planets out there in the galaxy? The universe? There’s gotta be something more out there.