Death Ideation

 My therapist says I have death ideation. That is wishing I were dead, but some other force has to take me out. Be it God, a car accident something like that. It makes sense to me. It's not suicidal ideation that's for sure. I have no plan on taking my life. Which is a good thing. Just whenever it's my time to go it'll be that time to go you know? Yeah, something like that.

Aside from that life is going alright. I can't complain. I mean I could complain, but what would be the point of any of that? Yeah, scratch that. What I meant to say is people can always complain about something in their life, but there doesn't seem to be a reason for any of it. So why bother with complaining if you can't do anything about it? Exactly.

Time to let things go that need letting go of. Fears, side quests, those kinds of things. If you know what you want up front, you'll never have to worry about what's coming. Things will come your way, but that doesn't mean you won't have the ability to figure things out as they come at you. Life will simply become interesting is all. Interesting I can deal with, I think. Maybe. Who knows.

Needing to be part of a team is always a concern. I never know what to think about when life brings across lemons to me, I wish I had the ability to figure out what was going on in all of those different aspects of my life, but I doubt I will ever get a chance to see all that is out there. Unless I find a way to push myself. Yes, pushing myself would be a good thing for sure. Find a way to achieve your goals. That should be my new motto. Mottos are so interesting, I think. They are so amazing to have actually. I need to come up with my own motto. Go forth and be bold? Maybe? Nah, I need to think of something good for sure.

What is this life exactly? What comes and goes is nothing but a miracle somedays. You honestly never know what's going to happen in this life. It's linear. A dozen things could happen, and you're stuck in the middle of it. It's going to happen regardless of the final outcome. It's a steppingstone that will take you there. That's the key part to remember of it all, it's not the final destination. It's a step in the right (or wrong) direction that will get you to that destination. The destination is never in question; it's the markers we leave along the way that matter most.