DreamSense

 

 Living a life that's free it doesn't come to everyone sometimes it's never seen people are bound they cannot move no matter the thought which crosses their mind yet that thought they might be able to free their mind of whatever controls them

 I live in fear most days. It doesn't make any sense to me. The fear is an odd one. It is from my phone. I can't stop thinking that it will ring and it will be something unpleasant. So I do my best to try to avoid my phone at all costs. I put it on silent. I put it in my room. But yet I check it once in a while to make sure there's nothing important coming through. It's a complicated mess. I hate it.

 Life is short, there's no other way to say it. A person can be here one moment and gone the next. Those moments they are with us, we must treasure and make the best of. You just never know when you'll say goodbye to a dear friend.

 Sleep is a wonderful thing. Especially a good nap during the middle of the day. I'm not sure if it's my medications that made me sleepy today or if I was just drained and tired. Either way? I took a nap and it felt amazing. There are things in life that are simple, a nap is one of them. When you get into the dreamland that's even better. I didn't go that far today, I just napped and let the hours tick on by. I feel refreshed and alert and awake. That's good enough for me.

 

 

 Is that good enough? I woke up? I would think that would be good enough for today. Not sure what today will bring though. Maybe something magical, maybe something good. Or it might just bring about nothing and that's just not enough for me. So here we are. A new day full of wonder and maybe something unique to get us through.

Living a life that's free of worry and coming out on top doesn't always mean victory

Happiness is key to that which is around only to find something which you cannot maintain

 Today is but a day  where nothing matters  except the rain  oh how the rain comes down  and washes all tears away  down into the abyss of nothing

 There needs to be some good thought process in life. Something good. Something worth living for. I wonder what those thoughts are. If I could understand exactly what I'm feeling? That would be a good start. But well I don't know what I'm feeling right now and that isn't any good. It would be nice to be able to figure life out. Just want to figure this life out and if I can't? Well that's a different problem now isn't it. So here we are. Overthinking and wondering what on earth is going on in this life. If there's anything I can say or do to fix it all, I best be thinking about it quick. However I don't know what's going on in life most days. That's where it sucks the most. It would be nice to be able to understand. Just to understand why I'm like this. I wish I could figure things out. What is it I can't figure out though exactly? I'm not sure I get that part of it all. Life is so messed up right now, I wish I could understand it...

  When I was little I was determined that everything had a purpose. If a room had a basket, something had to be placed in the basket. Even though the basket was decorative only. I didn’t understand that. How could something be for decoration and not be used? Everything needed to have a purpose.

 People go through things all the time. Most people will never know what that person is going through. They can hide it around people that well. It's sad they have to hide those feelings, those emotions, whatever it is they're going through. But in the end that's their choice to hide it and not seek help. They could be afraid to seek help. Fear is a great motivator to either do nor not do something. Sometimes fear is the one in control all along.

 Life is weird, I doubt it ever was meant to make much sense. We live for a while trying our best to understand the world around us and ourselves. We end up dying just like anyone else who comes across this Earth and then who knows what happens to us. Talk about a crazy time and place to be in at this moment. We don't always have the answers to all the questions that come across our path. That's okay though. No one needs to have all of the answers. Perhaps a few answers would suffice for now. But having all of the answers could be overwhelming. So here we are sitting and waiting, pondering whatever there is to ponder regarding our lives.

 What is this life about? What does it have to do with me? What do I have to do with it? Is it real? Am I real? Does any of it matter? So many questions I have on my mind. It would be nice to be able to think outloud for once without scaring myself away. Yes, it would be nice to be able to see everything out there which matters. So what matters exactly? I don't know. I wish I had an idea on it, but I don't. There are so many questions I have at times that it overclocks my brain. It's not a good nice feeling. No, it's more of torture than anything else. So here I sit. I wait to see what the new day brings for me.

Somedays are better than others. There are days where my fingers want to type faster than my thoughts can handle them. Well today is one of those days. Or I should say tonight is one of those nights. There isn't much else to be doing than simply living a life out here. Is that all we're supposed to think about? Just living a life? I don't know. If there was something more to this life than thinking it's okay, well I best be finding out what there is to be thought of. It would be nice to be able to figure everything out right now. Well that's not going to happen now is it? No it won't. There's so much to be done in this life and so much to acknowledge. But if we're here and we cannot move forward, what are we to do about any of it? That's the question which really boggles the mind at times. I wish I had all the answers but I don't. I don't have all the answers I need and that's a shame. If I had all the answers, I imagine life could ...

There are days that don't make sense. A lot of days actually. With this whole covid thing going around, I'd rather not think about it. Yet here I am thinking about it. I need time to think things through. I need a way to make everything better. The sadness that deepens me makes things worse. Who knows what will happen during all that? It would be nice to be able to snap my fingers and say poof everything is fine. Life doesn't work that way though. No, life doesn't work that way at all. It's an unfortunate thing. I would rather it did work that way, but no. It can't and it won't.