Skip to main content

Programming In Perl

Been trying my hand lately in programming in Perl. Doing some database things with it. It’s quite an interesting language. I’m rather enjoying it, if I’m being honest. Coming from a Java background, I find it exciting to learn new things and take them as they come to me. It’s fun for sure!
Post a Comment

A Failing Life

 I feel like I have failed at life. I look at other people and see how happy they are. I want that happiness in my life. I want to be able to just be happy with everything. But I can't. I don't see how that's even possible. It scares me. I want to lay in bed today and do nothing. Just fade away into the covers like it's nothing. Just pretend everything is normal as I sleep the day away. But I have to work. There are things that need to be done. That's just life. If I ever figure out how to make this life something more, it will be a godsend.

It would be nice to be able to simply wake up and have everything back to normal. That's not going to happen is it. There has to be something I can do about it. Something I can do to just make things have a sense to it. I don't grasp any of it.

Is it all just nonsense to everyone else? Am I not understanding or grasping what's going on at all? Maybe that's the problem. I just don't understand what I am to be doing in this life. If that's the case maybe I should take myself out of the equation and just end my life. No one needs me around, right? I want to die. I don't see a reason to be here. If God wants all of his children back, why not just let me die. I'll be back sooner than later. But no I'm told that's not how it works. I fear I'm depressed. There has to be a way to get over this.

I need to figure out this life. That's really all there is to it right? I need to be able to figure out this life and be able to keep up on things. I'm not a fan of anything. I wish I could snap my fingers, and everything would be better. But I don't see how that's possible. That's not how this life works out I'm afraid. Nothing ever works out the way you expect them to. I don't understand why. There are so many things out there that can and will harm you. Your mental health is in danger. People don't understand this. No one understands it. I wish I could get it.

I'm failing at life right now. I don't understand it. I don't grasp it. I don't get it. Life doesn't make sense to me anymore. I want things to make sense again. Did they ever make sense? I don't know. Maybe I don't want to care right now. I hadn't thought of that before. Not wanting to care can be quite a unique thought process. If I don't want to care, then my mind is really screwed up at the moment. I wish I could find a way to get over this hurdle in life. I don't know what else to do about any of it.

I hate my life.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

What's The Point?

 So, tell me, what is the point of believing in a spiritual supreme being? I often wonder what that is all about. I know religions say that God, as some call him, is our father. We pray by starting with our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Yet sometimes it feels like he is absent from our lives. Is it due to how we are living our lives? What exactly is the cause of that feeling? Some people believe that God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are one person. Others do not. It is interesting to me to see what all churches believe in. I myself do not go to church. I don't believe in organized religion. I have my bible on my phone, so it's me and my bible. That is my link to God. It makes me wonder if that's enough though. I have faith in Christ, I believe in him. Is my faith sufficient to be forgiven of my sins? I do not know. I do know that wherever I end up in the afterlife, I will have done my best to follow Christ. I believe the scriptures which lay out Christ's...
Post a Comment
Read more

Depression

 Depression is not something to be taken lightly. Having Major Depressive Disorder, I can only hope for a better future. I get it a lot of people wish to have a better future. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't think. Why not wish for a better life? If wishing works, let it work. Personally I wish the voices would leave me, but it's not as simple as that. They run amok from time to time. My only hope is that they'll get a clue. Yeah it's crazy at times that's for sure. If I could, I'd wish them upon no one else.
Post a Comment
Read more