What Is Life

Thu May 7 06:13:38 AM MDT 2026

Another day ha come, what’s there to be saida bout it? I’m not quite sure. I mean it’s here. My alarm went off at four am this morning because of things that need to be done. It happens. Life that is. We all get so caught up and so busy that we forget to breathe once in a while. I suppose it kind of makes sense, do a degree. Doesn’t mean it will always make sense though. I highly doubt that will ever take place or happen.

I’d like to think for a moment that this life gets better. I mean it has to get better at some point, doesn’t it? I don’t understand what goes on in this life most days. I wish I did. O tjoml ot has to do with my depression keeping me at bay most days. I can’t be for sure about that of course, but I do believe that’s what does it for me. I have to tell myself I’m okay with that. But truth be told? I’m not okay with that. It’s freakin’ depression for crying out loud! How am I supposed to be okay with depression? I can’t. There’s no way on God’s green Earth that I will ever be okay with my depression. Just like my anxiety, the psychosis, &c. Everything comes down to this. Life isn’t fair.

It would be nice if life had a way of waking you up without all of the negative aspects of it. I’m not sure how that would work. I just want it to work and be smooth. Whatever the case, this life needs to make its own wakeup call and everything should be fine again.

If life managed to make sense from time to time, then I suppose ti could be a better place to live and survive. Hmmm survival. Is that what this life is all about? Surviving the next experience that comes your way? Goodness I hope not. We’ll all be jumping through hoops by the end of the week!

So many wishes and so little time

Ever have a wish where you want something to work out and yet you know it will never work out because that’s just how wishes work? They don’t work. They’re wishes. You wish upon a star and hope for the best. See where the ball lands wherever you threw it sort of thing. I’m sure there could be a more elegant way of saying that, but I don’t know what it is at the moment.

Maybe life could, in some infinate wisdom, be made shole for all of us. I don’t know how that would look or work of course, but it would be an interesting thought process to see where life will take us eventually.

I think it would be better if life had an instruction manual to come along with it. That way when you really screwed up, you could find out how to get through it. But surprise surprise no such thing exists. So many things and yet so far away. If I knew what to do with it all I would do it. But I don’t, and so here we are wondering if life will ever be the same.

Certain Things

There are certain things in life that happen. Things that change the course of humanity as we know it. Be it airplanes crashing into buildings, or other forms of terror like wars and famine. It’s all got to come to a head eventually. Something has got to stop and there doesn’t seem to be a way out of this hell that we have made for ourselves.

Yet it would be nice to be able to play out the role of “It’s all good, no need to worry about that!” At least not for today. Worry and stress brings about anger sometimes. That anger is controlled mind you, but it is still anger.

They say world peace is what everyone wants. Well that’s not the case. If that were the true goal of life, then people wouldn’t be making WMDs and causing them to go off at anyone pawssing by. So, what are we supposed to do about any of that? I honestly don’t know. Do I look like I have all the answers? No, I highly doubt it.

Maybe change comes to us not because we need it, but because we want it to happen. I mean there are times when change is needed, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not always needed ya know? Sometimes we desire change and that is part of what needs to happen. Oh there’s that word, need again. Okay maybe it is a need not a want.

I suppose if we are to become a better version of ourselves, we need change in order to do it. But don’t quote me on that just yet. I’m not sure I have the pattern all figured out yet. If I had a nickel for everytime I thought about change, well I’d have a nickel to begin with. Change isn’t easy for me. I suppose it comes with the territory of the anxiety and depression.

Tired All The Time

I feel tired all the time. I don’t know why, I don’t know what it is that’s causing me to be tired. It’s like physical exhaustion that won’t go away. I don’t know how else to explain it. It would be nice if I wasn’t this way most of the time. But here I am, what am I supposed to do about it?

Life can be hectic, that’s for sure. If it were easy I doubt people would find joy in their struggles. Yes, I said that. Joy can be found after a struggle is over and you have survived it one way or another. Either you become the hero or you become the vilian to see the hero go down.

Life Has A Pattern

We live, love, and die. It seems like a simple pattern to go through. It’s repeated throughout the ages. Everyone whoever walked this Earth has gone through the same cycle. It would be nice if we didn’t have to go through the misery and sorrow that life brings with it, but that’s just part of the territory. Maybe one day I will understand why life has to be this way. Until then, I don’t think I can figure any of it out, not yet.

Is it something we hvae control over? No, not 100% I don’t think. It would be nice if we did have contgrol over it. But there doesn’t appear to be a way to make that control happen.

If I only had a brain. (Scarecrow, Wizard of OZ)

I wonder what the Scarecrow was really seeking at that point in his existence. Was it something more than just knowledge and thought? Perhaps he wanted more but he didn’t know how to ask for it. Only the writers know about that. For he is a ficticious character after all.

Things Happen

Things happen in this life that we don’t have control over. So many things that we simply don’t know how to deal with. But we have to deal with them, whatever they are.

If there was a way to understand everything that’s going on in the world, I think we could grasp things better. But we don’t always have a clear picture of everything that goes on in life. It’s simply something that we have to deal with. Once we can deal with whatever comes our way, we have the ability to try and understand what’s going on. Perhaps I am simply talking about nothing here. That wouldn’t be anything new.

Life has a simple way of letting things happen when you don’t want them to. There’s no stopping any of it. Whatever will happen, will happen. You don’t have control over any of it.

I suppose that’s what makes life worth living. Simply to see how we’re going to screw up that day. Not the ideal situation by any means, but that’s how this life works sometimes.

Life Isn’t What It Seems

There are several times in this life where it doesn’t appear to be what it seems. I don’t have a good way of telling exactly what is or isn’t going on, but I know it’s a thing that happens. Life is just that. A place where we go to hopefully be alone. Not everyone wants to be alone though, I feel alone with my thoughts a lot of the time. I don’t know what to do with them. They just keep going on like an old record player on repeat. Nonstop.

There’s nothing I can do to stop it. The worry, the anxiety, everything keeps going around in one glamorous circle. I wish there was a way to make it all come to an end. Without the usual methods. (aka suicide)

Yeah I said it. Suicidal Ideation is a very real thing that happens to good people. Not everyone understands how that tends to go or work out though. So I’m sure there isn’t anything I can do about it myself. I have to be strong, and be able to understand and grasp what is going on in my own life. That’s just how it is.

Maybe It’s Not Real

Is it possible that nothing in this life is real? I mean come on now. What’s the possibilities of that happening? It could all be a simulation. I’ve spoken about life being a simulation before. The thought isn’t anything new to me. To believe in something so deeply, there has to be something to back it up. I don’t know what kind of information is out there. But it has to be out there … somewhere waiting to be discovered.

I mean, anything is possible at this moment in time right? That’s what I think. I wish I knew exactly what the purpose of this life is. I mean I get that we’re here for a reson, a purpose. But the answers I’ve received? Not very convincing. Hence the thought that it’s a simulation. It would be nice to be able to figure out something in this life. Even if it’s just for a minute or two. Then maybe peace can be achieved.

Thu May 7 04:58:38 PM MDT 2026

Oh what a day! It’s been a day for sure. I don’t know how to explain or express what it’s been like. I don’t dare. But it’s been quite a day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a different kind of day. Slower paced, something like that. I don’t know.

If there’s nothing to worry about, what’s the point of this life? Yeah, exactly my thoughts. I wish I had a way to express myself. I can do that through writing, but where will that get me? I simply don’t know.

Is that complex enough for you? I think it is. I mean hell, it’s rather complex for me, so why not! Maybe life could find a way to get … better somehow? I don’t know how I want it to be better. It’s pretty darn good right now if you ask me. I only have a problem with my mental health. That’s all there is to it I think. It’s annoying as hell to be honest. Taking the medications I have to take day in and day out. If I forget it I feel terrible. Yeah, it’s no bueno.

Maybe It’s Not Meant To Be

Ever think that this life isn’t meant to be what it is? Yeah I do a lot. I mean, what if we’re living this life and we’re here and there isn’t a reason for any of it? We’re pretty screwed at that point, wouldn’t you say?

Let’s face it, this life can be rather confusing at times. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s just messed up and confusing. I wish it wasn’t like that at times. So many crazy times indeed.