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What The Ever Loving Heck?

Oh boy, more drama. I don’t understand it. I don’t get it. It’s life, yes, but it doesn’t have to be this way! I sure hope we don’t get evicted because someone else decided that we were doing something we weren’t doing at all! Seriously, what the heck! I don’t get it. I wish life wasn’t this way, but what can I do about it? I don’t know. It would be nice to be able to figure out what’s going on in life right now, I don’t have an exact clue what’s happening but I want to know! Is that too much to ask? Yeah, I didn’t think so. So many wrong things going on and I simply don’t know how to go about addressing them. It would be nice to be able to figure something out. Why are so many people against us? What did we do to deserve this? Man, I wish I knew!
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Voices

Ever hear voices? You're lucky if you don't.


A lot of the time I hear my name being called out. For a while I was hearing a little girl giggling or calling out for her mom.

It's not always tied to actual voices either, sometimes you hear movement. I've heard walking around, we have hardwood floors. I've heard typing on my computer. At first I thought it was ghosts, but now I have a feeling it was me hearing things. When the little girl was typing on my computer and giggling, it would freak me out. Then she would call out for mommy. I haven't heard her in a while, I expect to hear her again. I don't want to hear voices mind you, that would suck. I don't enjoy hearing voices of any kind.

Sometimes the voices argue with each other. I don't like that. They have so many things to say and argue about who gets to talk next. They want to keep it up, it's annoying. I wish I had a way to make them stop. It would be nice, I won't lie. I'm already on medications, but I'm not sure if any of them make the voices stop. I still hear things here and there so yeah, just not sure.

It would be nice if there were just a medication I could take to make everything just stop. I'm not talking about life itself stopping, but the voices and hallucinations stopping. I need them to stop one of these days. If I think about them, they seem to appear more often. If I ignore them, they don't. Am I just making it all up in my mind? I don't know. I doubt it.

Currently there are two male voices and one female voice that occupy my time. The males tend to argue about anything and everything. One tends to try and egg me on, the other sometimes goes along with it other times he keeps quiet. The female just tells me to kill myself. She doesn't really have any other goal than that. She wants me dead. It's that simple.

 

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