Life wasn’t meant to be this way. We wake up every morning and try to get through it just to go to bed and wake up again the next day. Is that what we’re thinking? Is that what we want? I’m not sure, actually I’m sure it’s not what we want at all. Yet it’s what we do. We are here to figure things out and try to attempt new things meeting new people. That’s what life is about I think? I guess? Either way, here we are. Now, if we wanted to do something a little different, we could. Life could be much different than it currently is. But, we have to accept that it could be different. Either way? It won’t be useful to any of us until we decide that is what we want. But what do we want for real now? I mean, we could guess all day long what we want, but we cannot fully express ourselves for some reason. Does it matter? I’m not sure. I’d rather not think about everything which could go wrong with this plan, but well you have to take into account all the different angles, don’t you? Some woul...
Ever hear voices? You're lucky if you don't.
A lot of the time I hear my name being called out. For a while I was hearing a little girl giggling or calling out for her mom.
It's not always tied to actual voices either, sometimes you hear movement. I've heard walking around, we have hardwood floors. I've heard typing on my computer. At first I thought it was ghosts, but now I have a feeling it was me hearing things. When the little girl was typing on my computer and giggling, it would freak me out. Then she would call out for mommy. I haven't heard her in a while, I expect to hear her again. I don't want to hear voices mind you, that would suck. I don't enjoy hearing voices of any kind.
Sometimes the voices argue with each other. I don't like that. They have so many things to say and argue about who gets to talk next. They want to keep it up, it's annoying. I wish I had a way to make them stop. It would be nice, I won't lie. I'm already on medications, but I'm not sure if any of them make the voices stop. I still hear things here and there so yeah, just not sure.
It would be nice if there were just a medication I could take to make everything just stop. I'm not talking about life itself stopping, but the voices and hallucinations stopping. I need them to stop one of these days. If I think about them, they seem to appear more often. If I ignore them, they don't. Am I just making it all up in my mind? I don't know. I doubt it.
Currently there are two male voices and one female voice that occupy my time. The males tend to argue about anything and everything. One tends to try and egg me on, the other sometimes goes along with it other times he keeps quiet. The female just tells me to kill myself. She doesn't really have any other goal than that. She wants me dead. It's that simple.
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