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This Life Feels Impossible

If life had a way to conquer our mind, what would that look like? I’m not sure I quite understand what’s going on with it all, just that we have to be able to figure out what it’s doing at any given moment. I wish I could understand and grasp what it’s doing to us, but if we can’t explain that…what are we even doing here? I simply do not know. I wish I had the ability to understand and grasp what this life has in store for me, but then again I don’t think I can do that. It’s life after all, I mean come on now. What more do you want from it? Exactly.
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Here Comes The Worry

Worry always has a way of finding me. I don’t know what else to say about it. I mean, it just happens. The rush, the anxiety mixed in with the racing thoughts. They seem to be never ending. I don’t know what to do with them. I kinda hate it to be honest. But I don’t know how to go about making them go away. It would be nice to be able to simply sit down and think about it all. If I could make things better, believe me I would. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your life to be better than it is. I don’t know how to make things better though. Maybe I’m not supposed to make things better. Perhaps this is just how life is meant to be played out.

So, what am I supposed to do about any of this? I can take all the medication under the sun, but if there’s nothing I can do about it … I’m at a loss for words. At times, it feels mind-numbing. If worry can make me feel that way about life? Hell, I don’t know what to do with any of these feelings. I need to be able to make them stop. Perhaps I’m overthinking. That’s always a possibility. But what if I’m not? What if these are legitimate concerns? What do I do with them then?

Yeah, that’s where the worry tends to go. It always ends up there. Without the ability to fix it all, I do believe I’m just in trouble with my own mind doing its thing. There’s nothing else I can do about it. I have to go along with whatever happens.

The music plays on. It always plays like a record on a never ending loop. That’s how this life is.

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