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Blast From The Past: January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 20:06:13 MST 2020 There has got to be some reason for these thoughts. Whatever thoughts come into my mind, I mean they have to have a reason right? Worry, regret, things I can’t control. Everything else which simply can’t be understood or controlled…things like that. I don’t know what to do with these thoughts. People tell me to simply forget about them. Let them go. Who’s to know how that’s meant to work out. I don’t have a clue. I wish I did. That would be nice, but I don’t. I mean, if life is meant to be simple…a breeze, something we’re meant to accomplish well into our 90s etc, if we live that long. Then aren’t we suppose to be able to do something with it? Aren’t we meant to be able to accomplish something and just be there for each other? No matter what happens? Life comes and goes, it’s not meant to be out there out there, but here we are. We don’t know what happens all the time. We don’t know what goes on when we aren’t listening or aren’t watching. We simply don’t ...
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Worry


I was reading on Reddit one day, what are some things that you worry about the most. If it's a constant worry, then that's an easy answer. Everything. Yeah, I tend to worry about everything in the universe it would seem. I don't know why I worry about things like that. It's crazy. I wish I had an idea of why I tend to worry about things. I mean wouldn't it be a good thing to have that all figured out? Yeah I was thinking so.

It would be easier not to worry about things, not to have anxiety about things. But I think life without some worry or anxiety would be rather bad for us. I don't have an exact clue of why or how that would be, but I'm just certain that some of it is a good thing to have in ones life. To keep their body moving forward.

So let's list out some things that worry me. Driving for example. It's a terrible worry to be in control over a vehicle. So I don't drive. Maybe that's not the kind of worry to be thinking about though, I'm not sure. I suppose any kind of worry can be any kind of worry. So that's a good example of worry that I have. I mean we're talking nightmares about driving that I have. Not just a natural fear or worry I guess then is it? No, I didn't think so. My driving instructor even said he was afraid I'd end up killing someone. I have that so ingrained in my mind that I can't bring myself to drive. Talk about a disabling worry/stressor.

Sometimes just being in a car freaks me out. I can actually see accidents happening. They might fall under hallucinations though. I can see cars coming at us and crashing into us. So I try my best not to pay attention to anything when we're going someplace. Probably not the best thing to happen if we actually do get into an accident, I wouldn't be a good witness, but yeah that's just how things are. Also being behind the steering wheel of a car freaks me out bad. I feel trapped, unable to move.

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