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This Life Feels Impossible

If life had a way to conquer our mind, what would that look like? I’m not sure I quite understand what’s going on with it all, just that we have to be able to figure out what it’s doing at any given moment. I wish I could understand and grasp what it’s doing to us, but if we can’t explain that…what are we even doing here? I simply do not know. I wish I had the ability to understand and grasp what this life has in store for me, but then again I don’t think I can do that. It’s life after all, I mean come on now. What more do you want from it? Exactly.

Worry


I was reading on Reddit one day, what are some things that you worry about the most. If it's a constant worry, then that's an easy answer. Everything. Yeah, I tend to worry about everything in the universe it would seem. I don't know why I worry about things like that. It's crazy. I wish I had an idea of why I tend to worry about things. I mean wouldn't it be a good thing to have that all figured out? Yeah I was thinking so.

It would be easier not to worry about things, not to have anxiety about things. But I think life without some worry or anxiety would be rather bad for us. I don't have an exact clue of why or how that would be, but I'm just certain that some of it is a good thing to have in ones life. To keep their body moving forward.

So let's list out some things that worry me. Driving for example. It's a terrible worry to be in control over a vehicle. So I don't drive. Maybe that's not the kind of worry to be thinking about though, I'm not sure. I suppose any kind of worry can be any kind of worry. So that's a good example of worry that I have. I mean we're talking nightmares about driving that I have. Not just a natural fear or worry I guess then is it? No, I didn't think so. My driving instructor even said he was afraid I'd end up killing someone. I have that so ingrained in my mind that I can't bring myself to drive. Talk about a disabling worry/stressor.

Sometimes just being in a car freaks me out. I can actually see accidents happening. They might fall under hallucinations though. I can see cars coming at us and crashing into us. So I try my best not to pay attention to anything when we're going someplace. Probably not the best thing to happen if we actually do get into an accident, I wouldn't be a good witness, but yeah that's just how things are. Also being behind the steering wheel of a car freaks me out bad. I feel trapped, unable to move.

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