Let’s face it, life can be a cruel bastard at times. I’m not sure what to make of it. I’d like to think that like with anything, life is possible to become so much more than it currently is. But I’m not so sure about that. Hell, there’s a lot of things I’m not sure about these days. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to become a better human than what I currently am. Isn’t that the point in life? To become better than who we currently are? Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Oh well, if we can’t become better in this life, we can certainly die trying. I guess that’s a main staple in life that we die trying to do whatever it is we possibly can do. Not always what we want to do mind you, but what we are able to do. There’s a difference in wanting and able I’m finding out. It can be a pretty big difference given the circumstances.
Ah, Psychosis. Such an interesting word. Google a definition, and you will find out a lot about it. Or I could give you the definition here without warning.
Psychosis is a mental health condition characterized by a loss of contact with reality, often involving hallucinations (seeing/hearing things not there) and delusions (fixed, false beliefs). It is not a specific disease but a set of symptoms, commonly involving confused thinking, speech, and behavior. Common causes
include schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, severe stress, and substance misuse.
Yeah, that ought to do it. Now, I can hear you asking, why am I talking about this again? Well because it’s an important topic. It needs to be talked about and not just swept under the rug as it were. A lot of people tend to sweep mental illness under the rug as it were.
It can be quite intense. When you aren’t quite sure what is real anymore and everything feels like an invasion of your privacy. Like, what is real these days? I’m not certain I understand anymore It would be nice to be able to believe in something that I know won’t turn on its head or disappear all the way. Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking about these days.
What am I missing in all of this? Is it the fact that this life is a simulation? Is that what’s going on with life? I don’t know. It would be nice to have some kind of understanding behind it all. But I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to go to a therapist in order to do anything. I want to be able to figure it all out by myself.
Is it possible I am never to understand what is going on with me? I can appreciate that for sure, but I’m not sure if I can understand it. There are so many things that I am just unable to understand at times. I wish I could make everything just make sense. But I know I can’t do that. There are limitations to this life, some limitations aren’t the easiest to overcome. While others seem nonexistent. Whichever way this life swings, we are simply stuck in an ongoing circle. There isn’t a way to overcome any of it. It’s an unfortunate series of events in which we live.
What is this life all about anyway? I don’t get it most of the time. I do know the hallucinations are quite real. There’s nothing that can be done about those. I hate to say it, but most days they’re just there and I have to deal with them.
Comments
Post a Comment