Today Is A New Day

Thu May 21 08:18:25 AM MDT 2026

New Days Ahead

Today is a brand new day to figure out what’s out there and possibly see for ourselves the dreams we have to become a reality. Real life is a mess at times, I’m not sure how that makes any sense, but it does. I wish I had the ability take life by the horns as it were and simply make it all better. But I doubt that will ever make any sense.

I hope that today will be a bright new day. That’s what I need in life. Even though it will be raining today. I need a good bright day without any distractions coming my way. I don’t know how that will happen, but it has to right? I mean there can’t be any reason why it won’t happen. Life has to happen for a reason. Nothing else can matter after that. Well maybe it can matter, but I’m not sure how that will affect my life at this present moment in time.

Life will always be a distraction for me. I’m not quite sure how else to say it. It will be there and I know it will always be there. There isn’t anything else I have the ability to do about it. That’s life for me at this present moment in time. I wish I could gather more information about it, but I’m not sure I am able to do that.

I Know What’s Wrong With Me

There are many things wrong with me, I get it. But when there’s something really wrong with me, well I suspect I don’t know how best to handle it. So I do what I do best, I ignore it. There has to be some kind of way to overcome these racing thoughts in order to become more self aware. Is that the right phrase? I’m not sure. Whatever the case, if something is wrong with me, it has to do with me alone and no one else. I can deal with that in small increments of time, but not in big chunks. That’s just how this life is meant to be lived right? Yeah that’s what I was thinking.

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with me and I’m just perfect the way I am? Nah, that can’t be the case. There has to be something else wrong with me in order for everything to be able to come together at the right time in this life. That’s why I’m seeking out therapy. Because there is something wrong with me and I know that for a fact.

I can’t always expect to know what is going on in this life, can I? I mean to do so would be insane. Not everyone understands what’s going on in life 100% of the time. We’d all be supermen if we could do that. There are so many moving parts in life at any given time, that we don’t know how they all work together. Just a lot of little cogs on a big wheel turning around making the clock work the way it’s meant to work.

So I need to let it be. There can’t be anything wrong with that answer, can there? If I let things be, I’ll be able to figure things out and eventually come to a conclusion aobut it all. Maybe then I’ll have the answers I seek.

Now there’s an interesting question, what are the answers I seek exactly? Maybe there isn’t a true answer to any of it. I need to know what’s going on with this life most of all, but if the answers I need aren’t to be found anywhere. What’s the point of seeking after them?

If Life Could Be Fixed

Think about it for a second, if life could be fixed what could it do for me? What would I want it to do for me? If life could be fixed, I don’t think there is anything I wouldn’t want it to be or do. I’d want it all. Is that too much to want or to ask for? I’m not sure. I can’t just allow everything to happen, can I? There has to be a reason for whatever it is I’m going through. I’m not sure what that reason is most days, but it needs to be something I can deal with.

Does this life serve a purpose for me? I’m not quite sure it does, if I’m being honest. Life seems to be more of a thing that gets in the way rather than anything else. I don’t know what to do about it. Life feels off most days. Does that make sense? It never feels right. It’s always in a place that doesn’t seem to matter, and here I am trying to make sense of it all.

If I had the ability to take hold of life by the reins and steer it the way I wanted it to go? I think I would be much better off than where I currently am. Always worrying about if I’ll say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing. Think the wrong thing. So many wrong things can happen in this life and I don’t want them to take place. If I could do all of that? I might be able to make life a better place to exist in. Well, my life at least. I can’t speak for everyone’s life out there. We each make our own personal hell and have our own personal issues in this life. That much is true.

Life’s Purpose

If life had a purpose, one single purpose, what would it be and why would that exist? I’m not sure I have all of the answers to everything that happens in this life, but I sure as hell would like to try. If I could find a way to make this life come to a certain end and everything would be fine? I would do that. But, as it currently stands. I cannot do that. Life is too complex of a thing in order for me to do anything about it. That’s all this life is. I hate it.

Maybe we’re not meant to understand things that go on in this life. That we’re meant to be kept in the dark. Is that possible? Is this life’s purpose so dark that we can’t do anything about it? It would be nice to be able to think of a way to make this life have some kind of sense to it. I’m not sure I know how to do that though. So many things in this life that don’t come together the way you would expect them to. It’s too convoluted in its thinking.

But who am I to talk? I don’t know for sure how this life is meant to be lived. There are things in this life that simply don’t make sense to me. I wish they did, but I can’t find a way for them to make any sense at all. So that’s really all there is to it. Life will continue on as it always has, and there won’t be a way to be able to stop it. I’m afraid this life will continue on relentlessly without being exhausted. It will always find a way to overcome whatever challenges it finds and will make me punish for it. That’s just life. I need to get out of this headspace. There needs to be something better than this that I can think about.

Is It Worth It?

So, here’s the main question that we come down to. Is this life worth it? I wish I had the ability to say yes to that question. I’m not sure if that’s the case though. There are so many things that happen in this life, and I can’t say for sure if it’s a good thing or not. If it’s worth it or not. I’d like to think that life is worth it to some degree. But without the exact particulars, I don’t believe there’s a way to make sure it is worth it. Life will come and go as it pleases and there’s nothing I can do to stop it from happening.

Make life worth living for please. I need something to focus on. Something that I can take and make my own. I don’t know what that is, or how to go about doing that. Life will always find a way to make me miserable. There’s nothing else out there in this life or world that will make sense unless I find a way to make it make sense.

So, no I don’t believe life is worth it. I think it’s a shame and a waste of energy to keep trying something over and over again where I eventually fail at it. Failing feels easy to do at times. I’m not sure I even understand that sentence, but there it is. So analyze it at your leisure. There’s nothing else to be done about it. It’s written, it’s done.