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Why Is Life This Way?

Why is life this way? I often wonder what’s going on with it, but I don’t have a clue how it’s meant to be at times. I wish I had a clue, honestly. But I don’t, so what’s the point of it all? If It’s meant to be a curse then let it be a curse. But, if it’s meant to be something different? Let it be different. Don’t let it be what you want it to be, be what it’s meant to be. Allow life to be whatever it needs to be, there’s nothing wrong with that. There are things in this life we don’t have control over, and that’s okay! If we can simply allow ourselves to become the better person, then we can allow such a life to continue. We can allow it to make us and form us, shape us even into the people we’re supposed to be.
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Nothing Matters

There are a lot of things in this life that don’t matter anymore. Life has a tendency to do that. I’d like to have a belief in something every oncde in a while. I’m not sure where that belief will come from. Maybe it will come from a good place, then again it could come from a bad place of thought.

Thinking has always been a troubling path for me. There’s nothing in this life more overwhelming than thinking something isn’t going to go well. But if nothing in this life matters, what’s there to even care about? Life will continue on its merry little way and everything will eventually come to an end. There’s nothing wrong with that thought. That’s just how this life is.

So here I am wondering about what this life will do to me. How best it will mess with my mind and cause me to have unexplained episodes where I don’t know or have a clue of what is ever going on anymore. My mind will turn to goo eventually, I can feel it happening. It would be nice if that didn’t happen, but who’s to say what will or won’t happen in this life?

Do we really have the agency to do whatever we want when there’s a God saying how things are meant to be? Doesn’t quite make sense does it. No, I didn’t think so. It would be nice if life turned out the way we wanted it to. So many things can go wrong in this life, and they shouldn’t be that way. Life turns us upside down at times. It wrecks us to the point where we can’t function anymore.

That’s all there is to it.

But then again, nothing matters.

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