Skip to main content

Voices?

So, the voices are obnoxious. They constantly badger me about what I’m doing wrong in life, and I don’t know how to handle it. So many voices doing what they do best, annoy me. To no end. They argue with each other. The constant nagging can be annoying at times. I don’t know what to do about any of this. Damn voices always doing whatever they want to do! I end up suffering from it all. Damn voices. If I didn’t have voices going off in my head? I think I would be better off. So many thoughts come and go in my head at times, I can’t tell where they’re coming from. Is it the devil that’s talking to me? Is it God? I doubt God would want to be messing with me like this…but he did create me the way I am? So I’m not sure about any of that. When the voices tell me to do things? Things I don’t want to do? Yeah, that’s when they tend to come in fighting. I don’t have a way of making them stop. I don’t have a way of making them go away. Maybe I need more medication? I wish I had an answer to al...
Post a Comment

Making Life Worth It

Life has to have a meaning, a purpose. Someplace where I can think through these thoughts I have. But there doesn’t appear to be a purpose to any of it. Now I’m sure you could recite religious references and the like about how this life is meant to be good or other such nonsense. But what troubles me with that? Those texts were written by people with a limited knowledge of how this life turns out for the rest of us. Revelation comes to those to whom they have stewardship over. A prophet can dictate doctrine to a group of people while the rest of us can simply see what is out there for ourselves.

Everything must have a purpose in this life. I don’t know exactly what that purpose is most of the time. It scares me if I’m being honest. I wish I knew what to do with this life and figure out what this life is all about. But I don’t know how to do that. I can’t say for certain that this life is good for me. There’s no way of telling what will happen, and that scares me the most.

So I will sit here with eventual doom looming over my head. Everything will come to an abrupt end and there’s nothing I can do about it. That disturbs me the most, I think. If I had some ability to understand and grasp what is going on in this life I think I could make it a better place for me. But I don’t know how to do that. There are so many thought processes and issues in this life where there is no way to overcome everything that comes my way. Does that make any sense?

All I do is panic anymore. I don’t like it. There’s got to be more to living than panicking all of the time. I don’t know what that is. Don’t get me started on the voices I hear from time to time. The ones that tell me I’m better off dead or to harm myself. Yeah, they can fuck right off.

I do believe I’m going through an episode right now. I don’t know who I can trust. There are people around me, but can they be trusted? Like 100% trusted? I do not know. That part scares me, and I know how that feels. Trust me.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

What's The Point?

 So, tell me, what is the point of believing in a spiritual supreme being? I often wonder what that is all about. I know religions say that God, as some call him, is our father. We pray by starting with our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Yet sometimes it feels like he is absent from our lives. Is it due to how we are living our lives? What exactly is the cause of that feeling? Some people believe that God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost are one person. Others do not. It is interesting to me to see what all churches believe in. I myself do not go to church. I don't believe in organized religion. I have my bible on my phone, so it's me and my bible. That is my link to God. It makes me wonder if that's enough though. I have faith in Christ, I believe in him. Is my faith sufficient to be forgiven of my sins? I do not know. I do know that wherever I end up in the afterlife, I will have done my best to follow Christ. I believe the scriptures which lay out Christ's...
Post a Comment
Read more

Temptation Bible vs Book of Mormon

In the Bible in 1 Corinthians 10:13 we find: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able ; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. But what might seem as a contradiction is found in Alma 13:28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear , and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; So, which is it? Either God tempts you to a point and stops, or you have to actively pray not to be tempted beyond that no return point. Which is it?
Post a Comment
Read more