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What The Ever Loving Heck?

Oh boy, more drama. I don’t understand it. I don’t get it. It’s life, yes, but it doesn’t have to be this way! I sure hope we don’t get evicted because someone else decided that we were doing something we weren’t doing at all! Seriously, what the heck! I don’t get it. I wish life wasn’t this way, but what can I do about it? I don’t know. It would be nice to be able to figure out what’s going on in life right now, I don’t have an exact clue what’s happening but I want to know! Is that too much to ask? Yeah, I didn’t think so. So many wrong things going on and I simply don’t know how to go about addressing them. It would be nice to be able to figure something out. Why are so many people against us? What did we do to deserve this? Man, I wish I knew!

Suicide Is Never The Answer

There’s been a thought that has been going through my head. It seems to live there rent free. The thought is this:

Suicide is never the answer.

You see, people are in control of their lives to a point. Suicide is one control mechanism that people can decide if they want to do. If they choose to take that door, there is no coming back. I wonder if people realize that. I wonder if they understand the consequences of killing themselves. I for one understand the consequence and what it will do to those people I love and care about. Maybe that’s why I’m still alive after all this time of having these psychotic episodes.

There’s no way of telling of course. I once had a therapist ask me why I was staying alive, what kept me motivated to stay in this life instead of choosing to die. I didn’t have an answer for her. I’m not sure I have an answer to this day to that question, come to think about it.

Personally I don’t see the use in suicide. I can imagine it only brings about pain and sorrow and some kind of misery for both sides. Let’s say there is life after this one. That when we die we go to a holding area where all of our infirmities are gone. The diseases that once plagued our brains is also lifted. What happens then? That chemical imbalance is gone, you can think clearly. If you killed yourself, wouldn’t you think you would feel some kind of remorse over it?

I find it an interesting thought experiment to be honest. Yeah, that’s as far as I’ve been able to get in that thought though. There isn’t much to go off of as I have never done the deed, I’m still alive as it were, so who’s to say if I’m right or wrong on the matter.

Some people will have you believe that suicide is a sin. That it says so in the Bible, but I haven’t found where in the Bible it says that. Not yet at least. I think it all depends on your state of mind. That’s how God will judge you in the end.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the matter.

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