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Blast From The Past: January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 20:06:13 MST 2020 There has got to be some reason for these thoughts. Whatever thoughts come into my mind, I mean they have to have a reason right? Worry, regret, things I can’t control. Everything else which simply can’t be understood or controlled…things like that. I don’t know what to do with these thoughts. People tell me to simply forget about them. Let them go. Who’s to know how that’s meant to work out. I don’t have a clue. I wish I did. That would be nice, but I don’t. I mean, if life is meant to be simple…a breeze, something we’re meant to accomplish well into our 90s etc, if we live that long. Then aren’t we suppose to be able to do something with it? Aren’t we meant to be able to accomplish something and just be there for each other? No matter what happens? Life comes and goes, it’s not meant to be out there out there, but here we are. We don’t know what happens all the time. We don’t know what goes on when we aren’t listening or aren’t watching. We simply don’t ...
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Suicide Is Never The Answer

There’s been a thought that has been going through my head. It seems to live there rent free. The thought is this:

Suicide is never the answer.

You see, people are in control of their lives to a point. Suicide is one control mechanism that people can decide if they want to do. If they choose to take that door, there is no coming back. I wonder if people realize that. I wonder if they understand the consequences of killing themselves. I for one understand the consequence and what it will do to those people I love and care about. Maybe that’s why I’m still alive after all this time of having these psychotic episodes.

There’s no way of telling of course. I once had a therapist ask me why I was staying alive, what kept me motivated to stay in this life instead of choosing to die. I didn’t have an answer for her. I’m not sure I have an answer to this day to that question, come to think about it.

Personally I don’t see the use in suicide. I can imagine it only brings about pain and sorrow and some kind of misery for both sides. Let’s say there is life after this one. That when we die we go to a holding area where all of our infirmities are gone. The diseases that once plagued our brains is also lifted. What happens then? That chemical imbalance is gone, you can think clearly. If you killed yourself, wouldn’t you think you would feel some kind of remorse over it?

I find it an interesting thought experiment to be honest. Yeah, that’s as far as I’ve been able to get in that thought though. There isn’t much to go off of as I have never done the deed, I’m still alive as it were, so who’s to say if I’m right or wrong on the matter.

Some people will have you believe that suicide is a sin. That it says so in the Bible, but I haven’t found where in the Bible it says that. Not yet at least. I think it all depends on your state of mind. That’s how God will judge you in the end.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the matter.

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