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This Life Feels Impossible

If life had a way to conquer our mind, what would that look like? I’m not sure I quite understand what’s going on with it all, just that we have to be able to figure out what it’s doing at any given moment. I wish I could understand and grasp what it’s doing to us, but if we can’t explain that…what are we even doing here? I simply do not know. I wish I had the ability to understand and grasp what this life has in store for me, but then again I don’t think I can do that. It’s life after all, I mean come on now. What more do you want from it? Exactly.
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Hospitals Suck

Ended up in the ER last night for just reasons. I hate hospitals especially when it’s someone I care about that’s in the hospital. They go in for a legit reason, the doctors run their blood tests, their urine samples, they think they know what’s wrong so they go down that route. They do a CT scan.

It all comes back clean as a whistle. No reason for any of it. Yet the pain was real, the symptoms were real. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why the trouble started to begin with. Better to get checked out than not I guess, but it’s all bullshit when the doctor can’t tell you why you feel the way you do.

I’m not a fan of doctors for that reason. I always say they’re just practicing medicine. They’re playing doctor and don’t know what they’re really doing at times. I’m not sure I get it most of the time. I understand they’re only human and are trying to do their part, well most of them are trying to do their part to make sure people are okay and not sick. There are those who do unnecessary surgeries just because so they can make some money on some poor bastard.

But these are supposed to be professionals right? I hate the ones who think they’re God’s answer to everything. They have all the answers ready to give you and all of that, but in reality they don’t know anything at all.

Maybe I’m just mad at doctors in general. That could be possible. Who really knows anymore. Life feels unfair at times, I wish I could grab hold of whatever is causing it to be that way and shake it loose from myself.

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