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Blast From The Past: January 7, 2020

Tue Jan 7 20:06:13 MST 2020 There has got to be some reason for these thoughts. Whatever thoughts come into my mind, I mean they have to have a reason right? Worry, regret, things I can’t control. Everything else which simply can’t be understood or controlled…things like that. I don’t know what to do with these thoughts. People tell me to simply forget about them. Let them go. Who’s to know how that’s meant to work out. I don’t have a clue. I wish I did. That would be nice, but I don’t. I mean, if life is meant to be simple…a breeze, something we’re meant to accomplish well into our 90s etc, if we live that long. Then aren’t we suppose to be able to do something with it? Aren’t we meant to be able to accomplish something and just be there for each other? No matter what happens? Life comes and goes, it’s not meant to be out there out there, but here we are. We don’t know what happens all the time. We don’t know what goes on when we aren’t listening or aren’t watching. We simply don’t ...
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Hospitals Suck

Ended up in the ER last night for just reasons. I hate hospitals especially when it’s someone I care about that’s in the hospital. They go in for a legit reason, the doctors run their blood tests, their urine samples, they think they know what’s wrong so they go down that route. They do a CT scan.

It all comes back clean as a whistle. No reason for any of it. Yet the pain was real, the symptoms were real. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why the trouble started to begin with. Better to get checked out than not I guess, but it’s all bullshit when the doctor can’t tell you why you feel the way you do.

I’m not a fan of doctors for that reason. I always say they’re just practicing medicine. They’re playing doctor and don’t know what they’re really doing at times. I’m not sure I get it most of the time. I understand they’re only human and are trying to do their part, well most of them are trying to do their part to make sure people are okay and not sick. There are those who do unnecessary surgeries just because so they can make some money on some poor bastard.

But these are supposed to be professionals right? I hate the ones who think they’re God’s answer to everything. They have all the answers ready to give you and all of that, but in reality they don’t know anything at all.

Maybe I’m just mad at doctors in general. That could be possible. Who really knows anymore. Life feels unfair at times, I wish I could grab hold of whatever is causing it to be that way and shake it loose from myself.

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