Skip to main content

Anxious Today, WTF?

I am rather anxious today. I think it has to do with the medication(s) I am on at the moment. Doctor changed some medications, added some, did some other things put me back on medications I haven’t been on in a while…the same ol’ same ol’. Anti-Psychotic meds work wonders when they work, they’re amazing. When your mind doesn’t want them to work? Well, that’s when things become quite a problem. I hate to admit it, but life doesn’t always work the way we want it to work. What can I say? It’s a mess at times. There’s nothing wrong with that, but to say it’s not complex is a complete overhaul of whatever there is. Talk about a mixed bag of nuts. Someone doesn’t understand everything there is to understand about it all. If I wasn’t anxious, today would be a better day than it is. But, well I am so there’s nothing I can do about it. I wish there was…but there isn’t so I’ll just have to deal with whatever comes my way. Such a bummer if you think about it all. Nothing is ever cureable. Every...
Post a Comment

One Thing

 If I could have one thing in this world it would be peace. Peace of mind, peace of heart. Whatever kind of peace i wanted, I would wish for that. Imagine if the whole world got together and worked together for the greater good. Instead, we have wars and rumors of wars. Things that get ugly and there's nothing that can be done about them, not in a logical manner that is. Someone always has to be right. Someone always has to be on the winning side of things. Why must there always be a winner and a loser to situations? War is no laughing matter.

I would love to have a clear mind and an open heart. Doesn't always happen that way though. Life is what you make of it. It can go well or it can go bad. It's up to you to shape and mold it to how you want it to go. No one can make that decision for you. That's just how it is. Not everything is cut and dry in this life. It doesn't happen that way.

I'm not a fan of things that don't happen according to plan. I don't know how things actually go; they just don't go to how I would like them to. It can be annoying. But I must deal with it to the best of my ability. That's just how this life ends up being.

Life in its infinite wisdom doesn't always have a plan for you.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Schizoaffective Disorder

I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

ColdFusion

So recently, I decided to include ColdFusion in my Linux setup. I was going to just run Tomcat and install CF that way, but well I decided against that route and installed ColdFusion 9 using the regular methods. It's been running quite smoothly if I do say so myself. I of course don't have the installation instructions anymore. Oops. I suppose I could Google for them again and make a copy or something. But well if my server ever crashes and I have to start all over again, yeah I'll worry aobut it then. FOr now, not so much. So here's my current setup: MySQL PHP Perl ColdFusion 9 Yeah something like that. Not too bad if I do say so myself. Of course what else would I say about it? You know I wouldn't ever say anything bad about my own server setup. Well unless I already have, if that's the case. Oops. Disregard that blog post. So yep, I think I'll have some fun with all of that for sure.
Post a Comment
Read more