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Thoughts

 I feel worthless, useless, I tire of such thoughts. Yet they exist and I have to deal with them. The voices are strong today. They want me to accept my fate and simply die. There is no other way about it. I must die. Living is no longer an option.

Yet the other side of my brain tells me that I must continue forward. I do not know why, it doesn't feel like explaining to me. A shame really, I wish I had a reason for it. But I don't. Answers would be good right now, really good. Unfortunately, nothing I do or say can help me out of this situation. I am but a puppet it feels, someone else is controlling the strings that make me think, talk, and move. Oh, how I wish this wasn't the case. I wonder what all these thoughts are about.

They're the typical thoughts that process through my mind. Death is but a steppingstone, I don't understand why I cannot proceed. The intrusive thoughts don't stop. The voices don't stop. They all want me dead. I do not know why they want me dead, I just know that's what they demand. It makes no sense to me at all. I wish I had the ability to grasp and truly understand what is going on here. What is this life meant to be for me. Is it supposed to be torture as it currently is. If so, then it's doing its job.

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