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It's Life, What More Do You Want?

This life is here for a reason, we don’t have to say exactly what that reason is, we just have to believe in it no matter what happens in this life, we have to understand one thing. That thing is that we are not alone in the universe. I’m not saying there are aliens out there, but yeah there are aliens out there. It’s a concept that people have wondered about from time to time, there doesn’t appear to be anything else you can do but wonder what’s going on in the skies above us! There are so many things in this life that don’t always seem to matter, but you wish they would, at least that’s what I’d like to think would happen. I’m not sure that’s how this life is meant to be understood of course. If there’s anything in this life that doesn’t make sense, then it will always be there. It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s the absurdity of it all! Why should it make sense if there’s nothing to grasp from it all? I’m not sure I know the ansewr to that question. Such a life comes and goes an...

Thoughts

 I feel worthless, useless, I tire of such thoughts. Yet they exist and I have to deal with them. The voices are strong today. They want me to accept my fate and simply die. There is no other way about it. I must die. Living is no longer an option.

Yet the other side of my brain tells me that I must continue forward. I do not know why, it doesn't feel like explaining to me. A shame really, I wish I had a reason for it. But I don't. Answers would be good right now, really good. Unfortunately, nothing I do or say can help me out of this situation. I am but a puppet it feels, someone else is controlling the strings that make me think, talk, and move. Oh, how I wish this wasn't the case. I wonder what all these thoughts are about.

They're the typical thoughts that process through my mind. Death is but a steppingstone, I don't understand why I cannot proceed. The intrusive thoughts don't stop. The voices don't stop. They all want me dead. I do not know why they want me dead, I just know that's what they demand. It makes no sense to me at all. I wish I had the ability to grasp and truly understand what is going on here. What is this life meant to be for me. Is it supposed to be torture as it currently is. If so, then it's doing its job.

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