Skip to main content

Mental Break

 I'm on the verge of a mental break; I can feel it. I would rather not go through this. But I don't know what to do about it. There has to be a way of combatting this feeling. I don't want to be put back in a psych ward for who knows how long. I don't want to be there. It feels like a waste of time to be honest. I wish I could overcome these feelings I'm having. Anything will do; I just don't want these feelings. Not everyone understands what's going on with me. Either they don't care or don't want to listen. They say they don't understand. If they don't understand then they should educate themselves. All it takes is a Google search. Oh, that pisses me off the most. I don't understand so I won't help you. That kind of mentality doesn't make sense to me.

So many things I wish for. People to understand me is one of those wishes. My own family to understand me and what's going on is one of those wishes. I try to explain it to them. They either don't want to listen, or they just won't listen. I don't know what the difference is between the two. But it's not good.

I want my brain to give me a break. It's working overtime it feels like to keep me sane. There's not much I can do about it. It feels so weird to be saying this. But I wish my brain could just take a holiday. Not worry about anything, not stress about anything. It needs to calm down somehow. I don't know how it will calm down but that's one thing it has to do before I can feel normal again.

Hell, what even is "normal?" How does it feel? What does it feel like? I'm not sure I've ever known what normal has felt like. It's a shame really. I want so many things for my life. Feeling normal is one of them. I don't feel normal. I feel off. I don't know which way I'm supposed to go anymore. It's all a blur. I'm sure eventually it will come about, when that time will come. I have no clue. I look forward to that day.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

An Opposition In All Things

Long has been the story told about how there must be an opposition in all things. From the pre-existence there was Satan, Lucifer the Son of the Morning. In the beginning we were with God in his presence. We learned all we could while there. Until the moment we couldn’t progress any more, we were unable to become like God. So, we were given the opportunity to come to Earth to gain a body. A Savior would be provided to atone for our sins enabling us to come back to the presence of God. The idea that an opposition must be in all things comes from 2nd Nephi: For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither...
Post a Comment
Read more

Temptation Bible vs Book of Mormon

In the Bible in 1 Corinthians 10:13 we find: There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able ; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. But what might seem as a contradiction is found in Alma 13:28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear , and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; So, which is it? Either God tempts you to a point and stops, or you have to actively pray not to be tempted beyond that no return point. Which is it?
Post a Comment
Read more