Skip to main content

Def Not Doing Well

 Everything feels like I'm going to just start shaking no matter what. I can't control the feeling. I'm itching like crazy too. Woke up at 2 am this morning and could not get back to sleep for the life of me. I stayed awake for a good hour before finally falling back asleep. If these are medication withdrawals, I don't want them. I hate medication and if I'm feeling these symptoms because of going off my meds, then it's something else. I wish I could get past all of this. There doesn't seem to be a good reason for any of it. Scratch that, I know there's a reason. There's always a reason for something happening. Oh, it feels terrible.

I know the answer. Go back on your meds. Well, I will when I have a chance to. I haven't had the chance to go see a doctor yet. That's part of the problem and reason why I'm not on my medication. Once I do that then it'll take another thirty days of the meds getting used to my system again, or vice versa. Whichever happens first. I just feel like screaming right now. But I know that won't do me any good. So, I'll keep quiet. No point in talking this over with anyone either. They'll just tell me everything I already know. Go back on my meds.

So, I'll just complain here instead. Feels good to shout out into the void where no one can here you scream.

The quiet is so annoying. But I don't like a lot of noise either. It's a tossup most days. What I need is for this life to be over. Something has got to give and if that something doesn't do it quickly, then I need to figure out a way for it to make it so it happens. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. Disconnected from reality can really bite you in the ass at times.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

Didn't Sleep

 What's the point of sleep anymore if I can't sleep? I don't think I slept any good last night. I was awake at 3 am wondering to myself, what on earth am I doing awake? Yeah, that happened. It doesn't make any sense. Fortunately, it's the weekend. So, I can catch up on sleep tonight. I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, so it's a good opportunity to actually sleep for once. Whatever the case, I hope I'll be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. We will see what happens.
Post a Comment
Read more

Babylon 5 Destruction

 I always get emotional watching the last episode of Babylon 5. Especially the destruction of the station. There are so many good memories of the series that it's just emotional watching JMS flipping the switch and the station exploding as the last transport leaves. It's like oh the series is really over. The station has served its purpose not needed anymore. Was peace ever really achieved though? It makes me wonder. I've only watched the series once all the way through, I'm on a second rewatch. One of my favorite characters is Mr. Morden. I'm not sure why that's the case, he's creepy as all get out. I just know that he intrigues me for some reason or another. Kosh is also a mystery, but he's meant to be that way. He's an alien that no one seems to understand or grasp. The whole story arc is simply amazing. It was television ahead of its time. I'm glad it was made. Talk about a brilliant television series. It was one of the first serialized shows...
Post a Comment
Read more