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Def Not Doing Well

 Everything feels like I'm going to just start shaking no matter what. I can't control the feeling. I'm itching like crazy too. Woke up at 2 am this morning and could not get back to sleep for the life of me. I stayed awake for a good hour before finally falling back asleep. If these are medication withdrawals, I don't want them. I hate medication and if I'm feeling these symptoms because of going off my meds, then it's something else. I wish I could get past all of this. There doesn't seem to be a good reason for any of it. Scratch that, I know there's a reason. There's always a reason for something happening. Oh, it feels terrible.

I know the answer. Go back on your meds. Well, I will when I have a chance to. I haven't had the chance to go see a doctor yet. That's part of the problem and reason why I'm not on my medication. Once I do that then it'll take another thirty days of the meds getting used to my system again, or vice versa. Whichever happens first. I just feel like screaming right now. But I know that won't do me any good. So, I'll keep quiet. No point in talking this over with anyone either. They'll just tell me everything I already know. Go back on my meds.

So, I'll just complain here instead. Feels good to shout out into the void where no one can here you scream.

The quiet is so annoying. But I don't like a lot of noise either. It's a tossup most days. What I need is for this life to be over. Something has got to give and if that something doesn't do it quickly, then I need to figure out a way for it to make it so it happens. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. Disconnected from reality can really bite you in the ass at times.

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