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It's Life, What More Do You Want?

This life is here for a reason, we don’t have to say exactly what that reason is, we just have to believe in it no matter what happens in this life, we have to understand one thing. That thing is that we are not alone in the universe. I’m not saying there are aliens out there, but yeah there are aliens out there. It’s a concept that people have wondered about from time to time, there doesn’t appear to be anything else you can do but wonder what’s going on in the skies above us! There are so many things in this life that don’t always seem to matter, but you wish they would, at least that’s what I’d like to think would happen. I’m not sure that’s how this life is meant to be understood of course. If there’s anything in this life that doesn’t make sense, then it will always be there. It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s the absurdity of it all! Why should it make sense if there’s nothing to grasp from it all? I’m not sure I know the ansewr to that question. Such a life comes and goes an...
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Def Not Doing Well

 Everything feels like I'm going to just start shaking no matter what. I can't control the feeling. I'm itching like crazy too. Woke up at 2 am this morning and could not get back to sleep for the life of me. I stayed awake for a good hour before finally falling back asleep. If these are medication withdrawals, I don't want them. I hate medication and if I'm feeling these symptoms because of going off my meds, then it's something else. I wish I could get past all of this. There doesn't seem to be a good reason for any of it. Scratch that, I know there's a reason. There's always a reason for something happening. Oh, it feels terrible.

I know the answer. Go back on your meds. Well, I will when I have a chance to. I haven't had the chance to go see a doctor yet. That's part of the problem and reason why I'm not on my medication. Once I do that then it'll take another thirty days of the meds getting used to my system again, or vice versa. Whichever happens first. I just feel like screaming right now. But I know that won't do me any good. So, I'll keep quiet. No point in talking this over with anyone either. They'll just tell me everything I already know. Go back on my meds.

So, I'll just complain here instead. Feels good to shout out into the void where no one can here you scream.

The quiet is so annoying. But I don't like a lot of noise either. It's a tossup most days. What I need is for this life to be over. Something has got to give and if that something doesn't do it quickly, then I need to figure out a way for it to make it so it happens. I don't want to feel this way, yet I do. Disconnected from reality can really bite you in the ass at times.

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