Skip to main content

No Point

 There doesn't feel like there's a point to this life today. I'm here, I'm alive, but there's just no point in any of it. What am I doing here. If all I'm meant to do is suffer, I'm doing a good job at it. There doesn't seem to be a good enough reason to be alive right now. I don't want to be alive. I don't want to exist. But I can't just be saying that to those I care about. They would freak out and not understand any of it. So, I keep it to this blog and to myself. My therapist might also end up knowing. Let's hope they don't throw me to the hospital. I don't want that right at the moment.

I need to find a way to be happy with life. There has to be a way to simply be happy and accept that happiness. I'm not sure I understand how to do that. Does it make sense? No, not really. Will it ever make sense to me? I highly doubt it. So, what's the point of it all. If only I knew. Depression seems to be running high as of late. The future seems unknown, and I don't know where I'm headed after that is all over. Doesn't seem like that much of a glamorous life now does it. No, I didn't think so.

I would be so much happier if I could die. Then I would know what's on the other side of life. I could grasp everything that is supposed to happen once and for all. There's no reason for me not to want this. Everything eventually comes to an end. There's an expiration date on life. That's all there is to it. I would miss my life in some fashion I'm sure, but for the most part I wouldn't miss it at all. It's so difficult to live in this day and age. So many things require our attention. I have no answers for anything in this life. If I don't have answers, then maybe it's time I made room for someone who does. If that means my death, then so be it.

I'm sure so many things would be nicer on the other side. No disease, hunger, poverty, worrying about bills and the like. If only life were that easy to get along with. But it's not. There must be some way out of here, an easy release as it were. I don't know how to go about doing that. I don't understand how it can be possible. There are so many things in this life that are possible, but living seems to be one of the hardest parts of it all.

There's no reason to dwell on any of this, yet here I am doing exactly that. It all needs to come to an end. Either the thoughts or my life needs to change. I do not know which one is preferable over the other.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suicidal Ideation

 Over the years I've had to deal with suicidal ideation. Those are thoughts of being dead, some more extreme than others. It causes issues for me a lot of the time. It's not an easy thing to talk about at all. Here's what it is: Suicidal ideation ( suicidal thoughts )  are thoughts or ideas centered around death or suicide . Experiencing suicidal ideation doesn’t mean you’re going to kill yourself, but it can be a warning sign.
Post a Comment
Read more

Ever Wonder

 Ever just sit and wonder about the things to wonder about? There are so many things that you can enjoy and think about or wonder about. It's just possible that you would be able to do such a thing. I'm not certain how it would go for you, as I am only a person. I don't know how you feel. So here we are, just waiting for something amazing to happen. It doesn't happen all the time unfortunately. It can be annoying at best.
Post a Comment
Read more

Multidimensional Arrays

Ah Multidimensional Arrays. Nothing too crazy in JavaScript. Just a little bit of this and that. So typical arrays are fun and easy. You create them like so: var colors = new Array(); colors[0] = "Red"; colors[1] = "Yellow"; colors[2] = "Blue"; Well that's fine and dandy, but what if you want to associate something with each of those? For example, what if you wanted to create a menu? You'll need at minimum a link name and a target. We could do something like this: var colors = new Array(); colors[0] = new Array(); colors[0][0] = "red.htm"; colors[0][1] = "Red"; colors[1] = new Array(); colors[1][0] = "yellow.htm"; colors[1][1] = "Yellow"; colors[2] = new Array(); colors[2][0] = "blue.htm"; colors[2][1] = "Blue"; function createColors() { document.write('<ul id="colors">'); for (var i = 0; i < colors.length; i++) { var link = colors[i][0]; ...
Post a Comment
Read more