Either Way It Has To End

 This life is fragile. There's no news about that. People come into this life born to be fragile; they must make an attempt to make themselves strong. I do not always feel strong to carry on in this life. But something keeps me going. I don't know what that something is though. My mental health is out of whack at times. It's always going up and down like I never expected it to. But that's life I suppose.

Life can be surprising at times. What you once expected to be truth ends up being something completely different. I do not understand what it means of course, not now at least. Maybe someday I will get what it is I am to understand. But for now, I do not. I must accept that as truth for now.

If I could turn off the negative thoughts in my head, that would be ideal. But I can't. They are there to destroy me. I don't know why they are there to be honest. But they continue no matter what condition I am in. I don't get it most of the time, I doubt I ever will. Am I supposed to just accept that? I doubt it. Maybe one of these days I'll be able to grasp what it is I am to understand about it all. Maybe. There's no guarantee that I will ever understand what it is I am missing from this life.

Who really ever knows what will happen in this life. I doubt there's a living soul on this Earth who can tell you the truth of everything that will happen. There's just no way that could take place. At least I don't think that could happen. People can guess what's going on, but again those are just guesses. Who knows what's going on. I sure don't.

I doubt there is a peaceful solution to anything in this life. There's always a compromise somewhere down the line. Not everyone gets what they want. I suppose that's fair. People will continue to try to get what they want out of life, no matter how difficult it can be. There's no shame in that. It's an adventurous goal to shoot for.

To some this life is meaningless. To others it is a great experiment of sorts. I don't know what I consider it to be. Something crazy that's for sure. It can be difficult at times and easy other times. I wish I had a constant idea of what was going on most days. But that can't be fully expected either. There are so many things going on in this life that I don't know what to do with myself.

If life were to move forward at the current rate it is moving forward, then things should be predictable. But that's not always the case. Life can be very unpredictable at times, and it can get downright scary. I wish life was a bit more predictable at times. It would give me the opportunity to actually grasp what was going on most of the days. I need consistency in my life. It can't constantly be moving around without forewarning of what is going to happen. But that's what it does. It drives me insane.

There are so many things to wish for in this life. So many things that wishes can't answer. We are left to our own devices on those points. We have to make up for whatever there is in order to feel human again. For we are human, mortal people who make mistakes and can't always predict what is going to happen. It would be nice to know all, but that just isn't possible at this time. I doubt it will ever be possible. Humans just don't have the ability to do that.

I don't even understand what is going on most days of my own life. Who's to say I will ever understand what's going on in the future. It's a complicated slope to live on. So very complicated. If I could change the way this life was structured, I would. But I don't think that will happen. It's something complex that cannot be easily changed. That's just life.