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I Feel Miserable

 Woke up this morning and I feel miserable. It's not anxiety, that's to come for sure. But I'm just stuffy and my eyes are watering, and my nose is running. I have body aches and everything else that I can't even think about at the moment. There's just too much to handle right now. I don't know how to deal with it.

Then there are the dreams. Dreams that don't make sense to me. They occur though, often times at random. There's no rhyme or reason to any of it. So, I deal with them. Whatever happens in this life is meant to happen, I guess. Sometimes it feels like there's no one at the helm. No one at the wheel doing the thing to drive the ship. It's whatever, but it sure can be annoying. I don't know what to do about it.

All I want to do today is sleep. I can't do that of course. Things have to be done. Life moves forward without you. There is no exception to the rule. If you can't allow it to move forward, you have to step aside to allow it to happen anyway. There is no other way to make things happen. There is no other way to allow this life to take control. You do not control this life, it controls you. It determines your death, when you live etc. There is nothing else to it, you are not the one in control.

We all must live this life. There is no exception. We came here with a purpose and live with a purpose. You cannot escape it. There is nothing to escape really. You have to understand all there is in order to get through this life. It will come line upon line at times, not everything will be given to you.

Right now, life is miserable. It will get better somehow. I just have to wait it out. Waiting is the difficult part of it all. Simply waiting for something better to happen to me. I don't know how else to do it. I am at a loss to be honest. A complete loss without any way to move forward by myself. I wonder if there is a way to overcome this thought process. I do not know. It would be nice to be able to get through this misery I am feeling at the moment. I just have to be patient.

Believing in something bigger than myself can help. I find it difficult to do at times. But eventually I do come back around and figure out that which I am to grasp and understand. This life feels like a mess at times, a giant mess that I am unable to get through. There has to be a way to do that though. Somehow, I will make it through and get to the other side.

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