Mon Jul 20 02:55:02 AM MDT 2026 I’m thinking again, life tends to feel like a bunch of bullshit at times. I don’t know what to do about that. It would be nice to be able to figure out whatever there is to figure out, but again I don’t know how to do that! I’m feel so fucking frustrated right now. I wish I had a clue about how to get over it, get through it, do something about it. But what can I do exactly? I don’t know. I don’t have a clue! It’s bugging the hell out of me right now. I wish I could do something about it, but again I don’t know what to do. Gah! What are you meant to do with this life when you just feel helpless? I wish I knew. I wish I could…do something about these feelings I am having at the moment. I don’t know what to do with them though? So many thoughts, emotions, feelings, all flooding into my head at once. Too much to focus on, too much to do anything with. I feel overwhelmed. What am I going to do about it? I need to figure out something. If I could do someth...
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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