It would be helpful to be able to figure out what this life is about. I mean we know there’s a purpose to it all right? This existence can’t be all for nothing at least I don’t think it can be. There’s got to be something greater out there. I wish we had access to all that was out there. Everything that has a purpose must find a way to exist. Is that even possible? I’m not certain. Something has to give in order for anything in this life to make sense. I don’t see how any of this could ever make sense though. I mean here we are and we haven’t gone anywhere but the Moon and that has no intelligent life on it at all. What about other planets out there in the galaxy? The universe? There’s gotta be something more out there.
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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