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Life Has A Way

Life always has a way of doing whatever it needs to do. There’s nothing wrong with that thought process. It comes and goes without a second thought. We can’t easily figure out why life does this to us, we have to understand something at some point, but if we don’t? Well, no harm no foul. It’s life and we have to continue going forward to see everything that is out there. There’s nothing we can do about it. Life will move foreward without the ability for us to do anything but wonder what this life will eventually be like in the far distant future. Oh what a joy that could bring about. If life has a way, we will be able to get from point a to point b in no time at all. It feels like a circle at times. A = B = C, isn’t that what the crazy future guy in Star Trek: Voyager tried to explain? Yeah, something like that. It’s quite an interesting thought process to be sure. It’s life though, nothing can be done about it. So let life be what it wants to be, there’s nothing wrong with that tho...
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Life Is Meaningless

 Life Is Meaningless. There's nothing I am able to do that will make it meaningful. So many things in this life and I have yet to even reach the tip of the iceberg. If I had an idea of what was going on with life, I would be able to tell you so. But I don't. I don't know how to make life meaningful in the slightest. It feels empty, an empty shell without the ability to speak forth words of truth. I should clarify my  life is meaningless. Life itself can be interesting, if that's the correct word for it. My  life is pointless as it comes about. I find things that are more pointless every day that I am here. What's the point of life if eventually everyone dies? That's what I would like to know. Everyone will die. There is no point to any of it. If everyone dies, then what are we all doing here. Some people try and stay alive as long as they can. They get ill, they strive to prolong their life. For what? What's the purpose of it all. To me there seems to be no ...
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Kill Me

 It's no secret that I don't want to live anymore. It's no secret that I tried once to kill myself, but it didn't work out. I don't know if that's a blessing or a curse that I have placed upon me. I know God doesn't look well towards suicide. I don't know what to do about my life anymore. It feels like it would be so easy to just end it right here and right now. But the pain from killing myself? I'm scared of that. I don't want to feel pain associated with suicide. Then there's someone telling my family members that I did myself in. I don't want them to be in pain either because of my actions. It's a very messy thought process. I have to live in this life; I have to accept that which I cannot change. Something else must take me out. Someone else must take me out of this life. God is the answer to that. Only God can end my life. He knows when that end will come and how it will take place. I can only wait for the inevitable. Death doesn...
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Anxiety

 I don't understand anxiety. I mean GAD is just a pain in the neck. There's not much else to say about it. But there is. I'm not sure what's going on with my brain as of late, but it's not good. Feeling anxious at various times during the day feels like a mess. I don't have control over what it is I feel. There needs to be a way to feel control over my life. But I don't feel that control. Add a dose of depression in with that and I'm all sorts of messed up if you think about it. My mind gets confused easily. I don't like it. I wish I could figure out why I have anxiety. Something in my head is wonky when it comes to the chemicals in there, I get that. But there has to be more of an explanation to it. Something to figure out why I am the way I am. I hate every moment of it. I try to make things better; medications can only go so far. Maybe meditation would be helpful for me, I simply do not know. Somedays I want my life to end. Like there's no rea...
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It Doesn't Make Sense

 There are a lot of things in this life that don't make sense. I feel it in my bones that a lot of things don't make sense, thus it must be this way. Without the possibility of things making sense, we are but people lost in a crowd at sea. There isn't a way to overcome this problem. We are simply stuck. I'd like to think that life gets easier as we go forward, but I know that sometimes that is a pipe dream and we really aren't going to have it easy. Would I be out of line if I said that life itself is a mystery? I don't think I would be. Life can be so complex that I don't know what to do with it most days. It is a crazy thought to be sure. I wish I could understand what was going on with this life. I don't. On a good day I can barely understand what's going on in that day alone. Other times life just doesn't add up for me. A mystery for sure.
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Hump Day

 Wednesday has come around again. It's Hump Day. It's the middle of the week. Personally, I think Wednesdays should be a mid-week break. Like an extra weekend day. I haven't figured out how it would work of course, just that everyone would get the middle of the week off. Because why not. What could it hurt? Just having a 32-hour work week instead of a 40-hour work week. I don't think it would harm anything. Oh well it's just a dream. However now that I think about it more in-depth, it wouldn't work. People need to be able to provide for their families. Those on hourly would miss out on eight hours out of the week. It could mean life or death to them. Okay scrap that idea. Knowing my love of life, or complete lack thereof, I would like to be able to have a nice weekend where I don't worry about anything. Instead, my mind is constantly worried about the future. Where things will go and all of that nonsense. I have no other escape from this life. That's all...
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Why Do I Care

 There appears to be so many things to care about in this world. I do not know why I even care the slightest about some of them. Others, it would seem, make sense to care about. But the rest? No, it doesn't make sense to me at all; and yet I still care about them. Why is that. I wish I could say I cared less than I actually do, but I suppose that's the point of it all isn't it. Caring. Life is too much to handle right now. It's up there with gas prices, and the price of fast food. Just too much and nothing to do about it. You either pay out, or you starve. There's no other possibility to it. That's what this life does to a person. Many things come up as questions that don't serve a purpose or have an answer. To those things which don't have an answer I say this. Forget it. Forget you. There's no reason you don't have an answer except for the fact that you just don't want to answer. That's all there is to it.
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How Much Really Matters Anyway

 How much of this life really matters anyway? Let's face it, we know we're born, we live, and we die. Some believe we complete that cycle all over again in different bodies and ways. Reincarnation is a belief that some people hold dear. All I know is what I've been told. Living life to its fullest isn't the easiest of tasks, but it is possible. So, I ask, how much of this life matters. If there isn't a straight answer to any of this, what does that mean for us as a human race? Shouldn't we be allowed a specific answer that solves all questions? I would think so. Doesn't mean there will be one. Eventually there might be an answer to everything, but for now we might just have to deal with the fact that no answer could be the answer. We might not be looking for that specific answer, but we must accept it and move on for now. I wish there were a way to handle it all accordingly. I don't think people will ever fully understand what is going on with life. Ther...
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