Ever wonder what is in a life? Yeah I sure do at times. It doesn’t have to be difficult mind you, but it can be interesting. I’m not sure how to put it all at times. Life comes and goes and we are but waiting for something to happen. Again, I don’t know how that’s meant to happen or work out. It is life though, and if that’s the case? Then we have to understand and allow it to happen. We can’t live through this life wondering if what we’ve done in the past will ever be good enough. We have to understand it, grasp it, take hold of it and see everything there is to see. I don’t know how else to explain it.
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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