Everyone pays a price for living in this world. That’s not to say it’s an easy thing to do, on the contrary. Life can be downright difficult at times. But, whoever said this life would be easy? I don’t think anyone has ever come to that conclusion. If they have, they are in error.
If I had the ability to make this life easier, I’m not sure if I would or not. Maybe I’m just a lost soul on this whole path. With no place to go, and at times that troubles me. If there’s anything I’ve learned in this life it’s this: Nothing comes easy, nothing comes cheap. There’s always a price to pay eventually.
I wish there was an easy fix for everything in this life. But things come at a cost. There isn’t a clean fix for everything right here and right now. That’s just how this life is.
Thinking about all of this makes me sad on the inside. I would rather not think about things, but such is the nature of the beast. These things demand they be thought about and discussed. I’m not sure if I trust my thought process most days. It would be nice if I could trust it, but well let’s face it my brain isn’t what it used to be. Now it’s full of worry and self-doubt, I don’t know what’s real anymore.
Is there ever a reason to believe what you feel or think? Those thoughts and emotions can be manipulated in several different ways without your knowledge. You have to decide how or when to act on them, if at all. I remember being so anxious in high School. Always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. I avoided a lot of things just so I wouldn’t have to deal with people watching me. I hate that part about me.
Everything feels like it’s going downhill fast. There’s no bump on the hill to allow me to soar to where I want to be. I don’t understand it, I don’t get it. But what’s there to get when you have Social Anxiety? I don’t think you can get much out of anything these days.
Second guessing myself doesn’t help matters either. There doesn’t seem to be a reason for it, yet I constantly do it. My mind never stops thinking, I hate that. But what can I do about it? I don’t think there’s much I really can do about anything these days. I have to keep moving forward no matter the cost.
In the end, I’ll live my life the way I want to. You live your life the way you want to.
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