Look, I know it’s not always that simple to say that something matters. I get it. It’s not something we simply say out of convenience, or out of duty. If something really matters we have to allow it to matter. It has to be something we are able to take care of. That’s the purpose of it all, whatever happens in this life it has to have a purpose. Simply because life ends, doesn’t make it right. The funny thing about this life is, when it matters it really matters. That’s simply how it’s meant to be. I don’t have a good example in my head right now of how it’s meant to work. A shame, I know. But if I did? I would totally say it outloud for everyone to hear. Unfortunately most of it would fall on deaf ears. If everything comes down to it, there doesn’t appear to be anything I can do about it. I wish there were. But if we’re being serious here, life will find a way to do whatever it wants to do and everything else will be destroyed at will. Being destroyed doesn’t have to be a bad thing ...
I want to say it first began in High School when I thought I was trying to beat the devil. Now when I say I was "trying to beat the devil", I mean I actually thought I was hearing the devil speak to me at night and that I had to find some way to overcome him. Looking back I should have sought professional help then. I remember telling a friend about this experience, and he looked at me like I was nuts. Talk about craziness right? Yeah something like that. I believe my first mental break was when I was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints . I wanted to go home so bad. It could have just been homesickness . But...there was something more to it. About halfway through I was just done with it all. I had had enough of rejection and wanted to go home. But I was afraid that I was unable to because I would simply be told no . I know that sounds silly to people. But that's what happened. I didn't b...
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