Today is Wednesday, it feels just like any other day. I don’t know how else to explain it. Feelings are ramped up today, I don’t know how else to explain any of it. I’m kind of emotional and I don’t know what to do about it. I hate feeling this way, it sucks. But feelings will be feelings and there’s nothing I can do about it I’m afraid. A sad shame and turn of events I fear. But what can one do about these thoughts that enter my mind? Not a whole lot I’m afraid. Sometimes I feel it’s paranoia doing its bloody work on me. I hate paranoia, I hate being paranoid. It’s a thing that simply happens and I don’t have a way to overcome it. If I could overcome it, do you think I would be dealing with all of this? I doubt it. I think life would be better off for my brain at least, my mind wouldn’t be alerting me to things that aren’t real. The demons wouldn’t come out to play at least, and I might be able to figure something out in this life. That’s how I see it though, not sure how it’s meant...
Life has a way to make you remember things and actions that you have done. There isn’t much else to do with this life. You either go forward or you don’t. There is no turning back. No point in turning back. Life gets in the way like that. It can be a merry go round or a tower terror drop. Either way you’re here and there’s nothing you’re able to do about it.
People would have you believe you have complete control over your life. This isn’t the complete case. For example you don’t have control over getting certain diseases. If life wills you to have those diseases you will have them. If it doesn’t you won’t. That’s just how this life can be.
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