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I Want To Die

Have you ever wanted to escape this world and simply die or get away from it? Yeah, that's how I feel at times. I don't know what to do about it. I need to see a therapist or something. I'm on medication, but that doesn't feel like it's doing enough for me. So I have to figure out...something to do about it all. I don't know though. It scares me. I'm more than scared, if I had the ability to understand what was going on in life, then I could do that. But I can't and that simply seems that life is going to blow up at me in any second now. I wish I could overcome these thoughts and simply make sense of it. Whatever happens, I need reality to be real. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it does. I doubt anything ever makes sense to me anymore. But that's okay. It'll be okay in the end, whenever that will be. If it's not the end, it's not okay yet now is it? No, I didn't think so.
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Thinking About Today

There will come that day when you think you can help someone, but it doesn't work out the way you expect it to. Too many things in the way where you just cannot help that person you wish you could help.

So you try your best and hope for the best. Eventually they tell you they're going to sleep. You tried and there's nothing else to be done about it. Fortunately they chose sleep over doing anything else.

Maybe something tomorrow or the next day. I don't know. Just wishing and hoping there was a way to help them out the best way I know how....I just wish I knew how to do that.
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