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I Want To Die

Have you ever wanted to escape this world and simply die or get away from it? Yeah, that's how I feel at times. I don't know what to do about it. I need to see a therapist or something. I'm on medication, but that doesn't feel like it's doing enough for me. So I have to figure out...something to do about it all. I don't know though. It scares me. I'm more than scared, if I had the ability to understand what was going on in life, then I could do that. But I can't and that simply seems that life is going to blow up at me in any second now. I wish I could overcome these thoughts and simply make sense of it. Whatever happens, I need reality to be real. Does that make sense? I'm not sure it does. I doubt anything ever makes sense to me anymore. But that's okay. It'll be okay in the end, whenever that will be. If it's not the end, it's not okay yet now is it? No, I didn't think so.
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Hate Sleep

I don't enjoy sleeping, I enjoy waking up from sleep even worse. I'm always reminded of the same thing over and over again. I hate it all. There's nothing worse than actually feeling like you have to do something in order to fall asleep, or something to wake up from sleep. Yeah, it can be that bad.

Hopefully I'll someday be able to figure this all out and everything will be the same again. If it doesn't? Well, who knows what I'm meant to be doing with that information.
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