Today is Wednesday, it feels just like any other day. I don’t know how else to explain it. Feelings are ramped up today, I don’t know how else to explain any of it. I’m kind of emotional and I don’t know what to do about it. I hate feeling this way, it sucks. But feelings will be feelings and there’s nothing I can do about it I’m afraid. A sad shame and turn of events I fear. But what can one do about these thoughts that enter my mind? Not a whole lot I’m afraid. Sometimes I feel it’s paranoia doing its bloody work on me. I hate paranoia, I hate being paranoid. It’s a thing that simply happens and I don’t have a way to overcome it. If I could overcome it, do you think I would be dealing with all of this? I doubt it. I think life would be better off for my brain at least, my mind wouldn’t be alerting me to things that aren’t real. The demons wouldn’t come out to play at least, and I might be able to figure something out in this life. That’s how I see it though, not sure how it’s meant...
Went to lunch with some friends today. It was therapeutic. Now I'm exhausted and don't know what to do or where to do it. Ya know what I mean? Yeah, something like that. So that's where I'm at right now. It's okay I suppose...I just need to make sure I am able to function later and tomorrow morning when I have dr. appointments. Doesn't seem like a normal life does it? Nah, didn't think so.
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